Small Towns, Small Screens

Sons of Anarchy: Make Me No Promises

2011-12-07T12:47:00.001-08:00

My reaction to the finale of Sons of Anarchy makes me think of politics and how candidates try to manage (and often lower) expectations for performance prior to a debate. How much did we hear that Sarah Palin was sure to have her clock cleaned by Joe Biden, an experienced debater, in the time leading up to the 2008 Vice Presidential debate? Plenty. And when debate time came, Palin didn't implode and we all perceived her performance to be successful because her campaign had lowered our expectations for her performance. Sons of Anarchy has taken the opposite approach to managing expectations: set the bar high and then come in well underneath.

After watching the finale, I've adjusted my expectations downward. And that's okay. I expected SoA to be great. It isn't. But it's still pretty fucking good. I've accepted that the Sons of Anarchy that Kurt Sutter is making is a different show that what I would like it to be. Fundamentally, Sons of Anarchy is a show that won't eliminate characters to advance the story. Kill off all the David Hales and Kozicks of the world that you want but the core cast is untouchable. Given that SoA spent the better part of the season fueling our bloodlust for Clay, it's hard not to feel as if those our expectations were manipulated. Again (See: Season 3 finale switcheroo).

That may come off as overly harsh. I don't mean it to be. From a fan perspective expectations are important because they represent a contract with the show. We agree to watch, to be immersed in the setting, to fall in love with the characters, to suspend disbelief when we need to, to obsess, to analyze, and to count down the days until the next season begin (272 days until September 4, 2012, if you were interested). On the other side, the show and the people who make the show promise to tell good stories, portray their characters in a convincing, compelling, engaging ways, and to hold those characters accountable to the rules in the show's world.

In a lot of ways, I feel like Sons of Anarchy hasn't been holding up its end of the contract. Maybe my expectations are misplaced. Maybe the show sets expectations too high. Regardless, it's time to reevaluate my relationship with the show. Here is my new contract with Sons of Anarchy:

I'll keep watching because I am interested in what happens next but I'm not buying any more hype about the broad Shakespearean themes of the show. Those allude to broader artistic ambitions that Sons of Anarchy appears to be uninterested in pursuing. It's a soap. Period. So let's just stop talking about The Bard, the Prince of Denmark, and Lady Macbeth, shall we?
I will ignore promises that Sons of Anarchy will do anything other than entertain. Promises that the show will address latent and institutional racism in our society? Promises that the show will explore post-modern themes associated with the nature of SAMCO--is it a club or a gang? Promises that there are consequences for characters and their actions? Pffft. Whatevs. I'm not taking that bait any more.
I will crack jokes about Gemma as a GiLF.
I will mimic Tara's crazy eyes in the mirror when I'm bored.
I will enjoy the shots Jax's bare ass.
I will cherish any scene with Tig in it. With or without baby oil.
I will continue to be on Team Opie
I'll appreciate scenes like the closing one of the finale where Tara kneels, Jax is king, and Gemma emotes for dramatic and comedic reasons.
I will expect the late-season Get Out of Jail Free Card.
I need to stop threatening to break up with the show. We all know it's an empty promise. Besides, I would miss all my SoA friends too much.

Okay, what did ya'll think? Do you have a new contract with the show?

Sons of Anarchy: Taking Stock of Loose Ends

2011-09-06T12:52:00.000-07:00

Sons of Anarchy returns tonight. Wahoo! The post-prison dynamics within the club and within Charming are going to be the focus of Season 4. In advance of the premiere, I've taken stock of some of the loose ends remaining at the end of Season 3. They are in no particular order:

How will the information contained in John Teller's letters play out? What's in those letters beyond JT's accusation that Gemma and Clay were his would be murderers? Moreover, how important will those letters be? It may turn out that they're old news to everyone but Tara.
What will become of Fiona and Kerrianne now that Jimmy O is dead? A big move to live with Chibs in Charming?
Will Opie find out about ~~Sarah Palin's~~ Lyla's abortion? If so, how will he react? In the Season 3 finale, that man looked like he had a serious case of baby fever.
SAMCRO pulled a fast one on Putlova~~'s horrible Russian accent~~. How will that get resolved? More blood? Perhaps with some treasure?
Are we done with the Irish? Or does the gun deal between SAMCRO and the IRA stand?
Who are the people with money behind Jacob Hale that were buying up storefronts on Main Street in Charming?
Oswald has been very loyal ot SAMCRO. How long can that last?
Is Tig's mistrust of Koz deeper than a betrayal over a German Shepherd?
How is Clay's arthritis these days?
Agent Kohn still hasn't turned up. Yet.
Opie's resolution to stay in SAMCRO after he learned that Clay and Tig killed Donna. He stayed in with a desire to change the things along with Jax. Did killing Stalh satisfy Opie's need for revenge? Or will he have have remaining trust issues with Tig and Clay?
Luanne's murder. Who was responsible? My money's on Georgie Caruso but I'm open to suggestions.

With all of this in mind, SOA Season 4 sounds like it is full of promise. There are a few early reviews worth reading, including those by Alan Sepinwall, Maureen Ryan, James Poniewozik.

Happing viewing!

Sons of Anarchy Season 3 DVDs

2011-09-04T17:36:00.000-07:00

In a hail of bullets, here's what I learned, remembered, appreciated and realized after going through a marathon re-watch of the third season of Sons of Anarchy on DVD along with most of the bonus material:

I was skeptical but SOA Season 3 does work better when viewed as a marathon. However, prolonged viewing reveals how thin the plot gets in the middle of the season. So there's that.
I fell asleep during an episode and a half (Look, I'm sleep-deprived and that shit got boring) of the Belfast part of the season. I missed McGee's entire character arc and the Jax/Trinity incest bit. The result of missing all that? Nothing. Neither of those threads contributed to the overall narrative of the season.
As much as I bitched and moaned about how it felt like the double cross was a cheap trick, I will admit that on my second viewing there were signals that Jax and SAMCRO were scheming together against Stahl. Most obviously when they were getting money from Stahl to pay Putlova in exchange for Jimmy O. But most of the hints and signals were so subtle that you'd only pick up on them if you knew something was afoot.
I forgot how much Gemma, Clay, and Jax implied that John Teller was a rat.
The dialogue between Jax and Clay about the 50 cuts looking at how Jax will react and having to decide whether Abel is alive or dead is aaahhmmmaaazing. Perfect writing, perfect acting.
Piney keeps cyanide capsules in his pocket just in case and Opie references the pills as his father's "end game." That is something to file away for future reference.
Gemma's time with her dad felt like the writers deciding that she needed something interesting to do.
I cared much, much, much less about the plot twists with all of the Irish characters except for Fiona and Maureen.
I still can't figure out what Tara's motivation is and I think that's a good thing.
The deleted scene where Jax tells Opie that he's full of hate and anger and is unable to feel the love he has for his son should have stayed in. It would have explained a lot of my frustration with Jax throughout the season. Or maybe it's just me.
I still like Lyla.
I want Gemma and Unser to have their own spinoff (a 30 minute sitcom, naturally) where they fight injustice on the mean streets of Charming.
Margaret, the once heavy metal groupie and now hospital administrator, made some eerie comments about Tara as an uncertain mother-to-be in an unstable environment. It makes me wonder if that's what we'll see in the upcoming season.
I want Calamity Jane's sexy lawyer/punk rock pumps.

Onward and upward to Season 4!

Sons of Anarchy Casting: Hassling the Hoff

2011-07-08T14:54:00.000-07:00

David Hasselhoff has been cast to play an aging porn star named Dondo in Season 4 of Sons of Anarchy. I just... I don't even know. The Hoff? It could be brilliant. Casting Stephen King as a cleaner last season was incredibly well done but The Hoff causes me to raise an eyebrow. Yes, Kurt Sutter has a deliciously sick sense of humor and I hope that The Hoff will be used as well as King was.

But the news also makes my brain hurt a little. I'm invested in the characters and their stories and while Sons of Anarchy has always had a certain (highly enjoyable) swagger to its sensibility, stunt casting The Hoff might just be a bridge too far. Would Mad Men or Breaking Bad cast someone like David Hasselhoff? Probably not. If this stunt casting is something viewers can expect for the run of the show, does it change how seriously we should regard the show? Does stunt casting fundamentally change what the show is--a family drama? Or does it cheapen it in some tangible way?

Unfortunately, I've got more questions than answers. My concern for the show is that peripheral things like casting The Hoff may serve as a distraction from the heart of an otherwise compelling, strong central story.

They're Baaaaaaack.....

2011-05-17T13:36:00.000-07:00

Can you feel it? That certain something in the air. It's like a drop in the barometric pressure before a hurricane, that spark of of excitement before your intuition tells you something good is about to happen, or that feeling of impending doom after you've eaten your second chili cheese dog with extra onions.

Photo from Dominic Pagone's Photostream
Click the link for more cast pictures from today's shoot.

Yes, yes, you've guessed it. Production is underway for season four of Sons of Anarchy. How do I know? There are new sets being built. Baby casting is in progress as well as casting for a deputy sheriff. Danny Trejo has been cast a Mexican commando badass. There was a table read for episode 401--titled Out. There's a new blog post from Kurt Sutter reminding us that season 4 picks up 14 months after then end of season 3. And last, but certainly not least. the Sons of Anarchy You Tube Channel is up and running.

Phew.

Now that we're caught up, let's get down to the really important matter at hand. Charlie Hunnam's hair. It's short. Like Green Street Hooligans short. What do you think?

Source: The Internets

It's certainly better than the Jesus-meets-Kurt-Cobain look that was going on at the end of Season 3. It will help the continuity issues that The Hair creates--see the scene with Father Ashby and Jax in Firinne. But is the short hair really true to Jax's character? Or is this just what the ravages of time, lice, and a stint in the penitentiary do to pretty outlaw biker boys?

Sound off in the comments section about the hair. I'll be back to regular blogging as things heat up.

It Still Bothers Me

2011-02-05T09:06:00.000-08:00

All I wanted when the third season of Sons of Anarchy came to a close was for all the characters to be in a relatively decent, safe place. Considering the end of season two, I realized that I was pushing the boundaries of expectations. However, all the characters that I care about were left in a reasonably good, decent, safe place. Yes, I count prison to be decent safe because everything is relative with this show ya'll. But I still wonder how Jax (and presumably SAMCRO) so effectively duped Stahl.

At my best, the bother and doubt creep in while I'm in the car or standing in line to order lunch. Hmmmm. How did that work because there didn't seem to be a hint of it during the season. Hmmm. Must go home and rewatch tonight. At my worst, I feel like this:

My concerns in a hail of bullets:

How could a man and a MC (Jax and SAMCRO, duh) that had been routinely outmaneuvered and had their asses handed to them the IRA, SAMBEL, Jacob Hale, and an idiot like Salazar been capable enough to outsmart a sociopath like Stahl?
When! When did Jax bring SAMCRO into the crooked deal he struck with Stahl? It matters whether it was SAMCRO's idea and they were in on it from the start or Jax brought them in later in the game. It matters. My theory is that SAMCRO was in on it from the beginning because there is no way Jax could have captured Luke and his driver all by his lonesome.
How were there not any real clues to let the audience know what was going on? I can only think of two possible explanations: (1) There weren't and clues; or (2) If there were clues, they were so slight that you'd have to know they were present to know what they meant.
Think of what it means if there weren't any clues. Isn't the audience (yeah, us) at least more trustworthy than Stahl to have some indication of what's coming down the pike? Or are we forever outsiders peering in on SAMCRO's world? That would make the audience not unlike Tara and Gemma but even they got some explanation.

Those questions, bothers, and concerns are all I'm left with until September. Oh, and this image which helps nothing:

It's About Time!

2011-01-17T07:18:00.000-08:00

Image borrowed from the internets

Yay! Katey Sagal won the Golden Globe for Best Actress last night! Woooo Hooo! I'm glad to see Sons of Anarchy get some recognition. Didn't Katey look beautiful last night? My 30-something boobs are jealous of her 50-something boobs.

Meet The Parasite

2010-12-16T07:26:00.000-08:00

The LSH and I are proud to announce that we have created The Parasite. The Parasite will make his/her appearance in mid-June and the world will never be the same.

I've collected a few observations about this whole process thus far:

No wonder The Baby Industrial Complex tells you to keep being pregnant a secret for your first trimester. All I would have said would have been a rotation of the following: OMFG why am I so tired; Whoa, holy wave on unexpected nausea; I need a nap; I wonder if there is a place to get frozen yogurt around here; Yawn, I'm so tired of being tired; and I can smell everything.
I gross myself out. I burp and fart on a very regular basis. I cleared out an entire gift shop last weekend.
The LSH thought it would be a good idea to fry Spam for breakfast one day. It did not go well... like at all. It's a long story but I almost barfed in the washing machine.
Apparently, the LSH is allergic to the hormones I'm putting off - he has been itching like crazy. The doctor says this is more common than you'd think.
The Black Dog has become 1000% more protective of me. Either he's incredibly maternal for a male dog or he thinks that he's the baby daddy.
The prenatal vitamins look like suppositories. There's no nice way around that.
The Baby Industrial Complex loves to try to scare the shit out of you and boss you around. If you eat that turkey sandwich your baby will die and it will be all your fault.
At 35, I'm ancient in reproductive terms and the prenatal nurse loved to say lovely things like "At your age..." or "for expectant mothers of advanced age like you..."
People in maternity clothes stores have no sense of humor. The LSH and I were in A Pea in the Pod last weekend and I put the belly on before I came out of the dressing room, shocking the hell out of him. Of course I started rubbing my belly and doing a little dance around and we both started cracking up laughing. Either we aren't as funny as we thought we were, pregnant couples have no sense of humor, or maternity stores are places for serious business and not a place to goof off.
Just to bring things back to Sons of Anarchy, Tara and I are about a week apart. Apparently her boobie fairy didn't come during season 3.

A Few Thoughts on the Sons of Anarchy Finale

2010-12-01T07:31:00.000-08:00

A few quick thoughts on the season finale of Sons of Anarchy while rewatch about a million times and work on the recap....

An excellent finale that was remarkably anxiety/damage free for SAMCRO. Even though I didn't trust that lovely mushy moment with Jax and Tara in the episode opener, it was completely genuine and sweet. All the foreboding of things about to go wrong was a red herring.
Viva La Pinky!
I'm going to miss ATF Bitchface but it was about time that SAMCRO got some revenge on its antagonists after Zobelle escaped last season. I'm torn over which revenge kill was better but am leaning towards Stahl because of Opie's like "This is what she felt." ZOMFG. Anyways, vote in the poll over whose death was more satisfying -- Stahl or Jimmy O.

poll by twiigs.com

It took us 3 season to get confirmation that Clay and Gemma killed John Teller. He didn't let the road by accident or by choice.
Jax is apparently done dithering.
When did Jax tell the MC about the deal with Stahl? This is really bothering me. Were we conned all along the way with Stahl? Vote in the poll below.

poll by twiigs.com

Finally! Someone listened to Chuckie!
Tig's comment about letting Chuckie use his hand to rub one out was classic, priceless.
I wonder what was in Tara's letter from Jax.

What did ya'll think? Sound off in the comments section....

All's Well That Ends Well?

2010-11-30T09:32:00.000-08:00

I haven't been keeping up with my Sons of Anarchy recaps as the season has worn on. I've been short on time but I wanted to share some thoughts before tonight's finale. All season, I've been on board the Kurt Sutter train with complete trust that all of the frustration, anxiety, delays, and dalliances would lead somewhere towards something. If the point was to take the Sons out of their comfort zone and make the audience feel the same the off-kilter uneasiness that the club has, then mission fricking accomplished. I feel like I've been put through same emotional meat grinder as Jax this season. Like a bazilion times over. I get that this season has been all about Jax's character under the most serious, dark circumstances a person can experience. I get that it's permanently changing him. I'm a smart girl.

I fully expect tonight's finale to be satisfying and compelling and all of those frustrations, anxiety, dalliances, and delays will be paid off towards the somewhere/something that we've been headed to all season. Frankly, I need it because at times during Season 3, I've felt like the show has made me feel as crazy as Gemma holding a gun to a baby's head.

Near the middle of the season, I was ready to have the conversation with Sons of Anarchy. You know. It’s the uncomfortable but necessary conversation you have with your BFF when you have to tell her that maybe jeggings aren’t the go-to look she thought they were. You tell your bestie in the kindest way possible that those jeggings look awful because you love her and you want her to look her best and don't want anyone to see her in an unflattering way.

I felt that in some ways Sons of Anarchy has been trotting around town in a really unflattering pair of jeggings. Yes, really. The jeggings for SoA have been the clunky plot devices that defy even extraordinary levels of suspending disbelief. What the hell do I mean? Well, here goes:

Salazar was a weak villain. Clay didn't recognize his bullshit MC and there was no reason for him to live for a stunning 12 episodes. The Sons of Season 1 and 2 would have never let that guy walk out of the bathroom in the park. Never, ever, ever. Compared to incredibly interesting, complex villains like Stahl and Zobelle, Salazar was a punk. He only lived to kidnap Tara.
The logistical difficulties of getting to Belfast were maddening and defied logic. Yes, I get it they are outlaws. They live off the grid. But they also had passports and they were out on bail. If push came to shove and they seriously wanted to get to Belfast, it shouldn't have been that difficult. I'm sure that at a minimum someone's old lady had a credit card and could have at least bought Jax a ticket.
The legal/procedural aspects of Gemma's case for killing Polly and the gun charges on SoA for their raid on Zobelle's dinner of the faithful defy reason and standards for good legal representation. First off, Gemma obviously killed Polly in self defense. Unser even indicated early in the season that the evidence was pointing in the direction. So why not just make sure that the lawyer is doing her damn job and push things along? The forensic evidence never would have supported Stahl's version of events, so why not work the justice system? If you're paying someone $1500 an hour to represent you, then maybe it's a good idea to make sure they are doing their job and working to get you off of the charges. And with the raid on the dinner of the faithful, the last remaining witness was on the verge of bugging out from testifying against SoA, leveling all the charges down to possession. Why the need for a big ATF deal? Get your lawyer on it, plead it down, and move on.

Maybe I have unrealistic expectations for SAMCRO but during seasons 1 and 2 I learned to expect them to be much smarter, much savvier, and much more viscous than they've been this season. The Sons of Anarchy I knew at the end of season 2 would have killed Salazar, gotten to Belfast and not bought the line that Ashby as feeding them, and fought the bullshit legal charges. All without skipping a beat.

These are relatively minor criticisms of a really interesting, complex, compelling season. I expect tonight's finale to be very satisfying but how we get to the end matters too. I hope that those little plot devices that haven't lived up to the smartness of the show don't get in the way of a fantastic ending.

I'm very excited to see what happens tonight. I want to see what Jax does with the deal he made with Stahl, how he sorts out the Jimmy issue and what all of it means for his future, his relationship with Tara and the MC. Will Jax burn out or fade away? We'll find out tonight.

In Between Firinne and Bainne

2010-11-16T07:42:00.000-08:00

In last week's installment of Sons of Anarchy, Firinne, things got medieval and Season 3 Jax was reintroduced to Season 1 Jax. That closing scene in Firinne fantastic. It was as if Jax stepped out of this cloud of self loathing and anguish, remembered who he was and decided it was time to engage in life again.

How Jax will engage is a completely different matter. Is a man so filled with violence and anger just going to allow his son to be adopted out to A Good Catholic Family? Or perhaps Jax will come to the realization that the path that SAMCRO is on now doesn't have to be the same path for his son? The MC can be something different, right? That was kind of the point of the tension between Jax and Clay all along. Before I digress too far into the realm of unanswerable questions, here are some thoughts on Bainne and the other two closing episodes of this season of Sons of Anarchy:

SAMCRO's visit to Belfast seems to indicate that all may not be well in the broader universe of Sons of Anarchy charters. This could signal future problems and enemies within in upcoming seasons.
What kind of Charming will SAMCRO return home to? I want more substance on the Charming side of the story because selfishly I want David Hale's death (yeah, remember that) to mean something more than what it has so far.
So far SAMCRO seems to have gotten off relatively easy in terms of casualties this season. Donna was killed in season 1 and Half-Sack was killed in season 2. Sons of Anarchy is a show about consequences and I'd be shocked of all of the members of the MC made it home to Charming upright. Yes I'm looking at you Chibs.
Maybe I'm in a good mood but I'm getting the feeling that Sweet Baby Abel will make it home and Pinky will endure to the next trimester.
I know there's a spoiler out on the internets about this and don't you dare spoil me but.... I'll bet that Gemma tells Jax about Tara and Pinky in Bainne. Just to light a fire under his ass.
Is the season going to end with Gemma and the boys being arraigned? Orange isn't our girl's color.
There's the whole Stahl thing to deal with. However, bullets are cheaper than owning up to your brothers that you made a deal with the devil.
I'm interested to see if Jax can get Jimmy O back to Charming without having to explain a lot to his brothers.
Speaking of Jimmy O, he was the one who wanted to return Abel straightaway. I wonder if that might help to save his neck.
Perhaps I'm paranoid, but I get the feeling that there are larger interests in play with the Jacob Hale story line. My paranoia is pointing straight to LOAN and Zobelle.
I hope Tara and Margaret can rescue themselves because Tig, Kozick, and Piney will be lucky if they don't kill each other in the rescue.
Pinky may or may not endure but will Tara stick around for Jax when he gets back?
Remember waaaaaay back when Kurt Sutter tweeted about putting a body in the trunk of a Prius? I wonder if he had Salazar in mind at the time.

As always, a very special thanks to @amonmich for the screen caps. Go check out her blog

What are your thoughts, questions, and expectations for Bainne and the concluding episodes of Sons of Anarchy? The comments section awaits.

Signs You Are a Sons of Anarch Fan: Season 3 Edition

2010-11-10T07:13:00.000-08:00

Image Source: FX

Last year I wrote a blog post called Signs You Might Be a Sons of Anarchy Fan. A few people liked it. While I'm working on the recap for Firinne, I thought it might be a good time to revisit that blog post and come up with an version for Season 3. Enjoy!

You start reading Yeates, you know, for fun. And just to make sure you have all the literary references covered, you're planning on reading Macbeth too.
You will never be able to look at a bottle of baby oil the same way again. Ever.
You started having an anxiety attack when you realize that there are only three episodes left in this season. ~~ZOMG HOW DID THIS HAPPEN ALREADY?~~ You then started to have a subsequent anxiety attack when you realized that after this season, there are only 4 seasons left. Ever.
You casually drop Sons of Anarchy references into conversations with coworkers, distant family members and marginal friends to sneakily test if they watch the show. (For example, "Man, if there was a skateboard within reach this TPS report situation would have ended differently.")
You are planning on going to Belfast for your summer vacation.
Now that Opie is wearing his shogun bun, you're not real sure what to do with that black knit hat you bought last year.
Being on Team Tara is sooooo Season 2. Now you're on Team Lyla.
You can watch the Belfast scenes and understand 80% of what the characters are saying. Closed captioning is for posers.
When you read the crazy shit that some people tweet to/at Kurt Sutter about the show, you just want to reach through your broadband connection and give them a good smack.
You got a Sons of Anarchy tattoo.

If you have experienced 0-1 of these things, you really need to recommit yourself to the show.

If you have experienced 2-5 of these things, you have a healthy relationship with the show.

If you have experienced 5 or more of these things, you're beyond hope -- but in a good way.

Things I Like Right Now

2010-11-06T08:17:00.000-07:00

Photo Source: NPR/Deborah Feingold

I've been a bit of a grouch lately. Okay, a bit more of a grouch than usual. I'm stressed, I'm tired, and I just need it to be December already. Anyways, I wanted to end this week on a less critical note by blogging about the things that make me happy. Inspired by posts that blaurgra writes about the things she likes, I thought I would do the same. So here goes:

The interview with Keith Richards on NPR's Fresh Air. I don't know if I actually believe that Keith Richards came up with Satisfaction in a dream but he sure has a charming way of convincing you that he did.
Zappos.com, or specifically their customer service. They gave me free overnight shipping on a pair of boots I ordered. Better yet? Free return shipping for the exchange when I had to return the boots because I ordered the wrong size.
Cee Lo Green's song F*ck You. He's such a great soul singer and I can't wait for his album to drop.
Slate's running conversation analyzing how the female candidates performed during the elections and what it might mean for the future female political candidates.
Giant Lemonheads. They're the only Halloween candy left in the house that I didn't pawn off of my students. They're like a Fireball but, you know, a Lemonhead. Yum.
Not washing my curly hair anymore. I've joined the No Poo revolution. Before you get grossed out, I am cleaning my hair. I'm just not using shampoo any more and my curls look lovely, soft and springy with no frizz.

Sons of Anarchy, Season 3, Episode 9 Turas, Recap

2010-11-04T17:25:00.000-07:00

Previously on As the Harley Rumbles, Jax got played by Kellan Ashby, Tara and Lyla bonded over their right to choose, and other shit happened. And on this episode of Sons of Anarchy? I'm not sure that much of anything happened either in terms of character development or forward movement of the plot. However, I feel less cranky than I initially did about Turas. But, to the recap/bitch machine and let's hash this out.

First, let's look at things that happened in Belfast. Liam O'Neil, on instructions from Jimmy O, was ready to set the boom on SAMCRO and McGee in the barn of great gun concealing creativity. And this is where my complaints start to come in. I am very interested in and care about the Belfast story line, particularly the IRA/SAMBEL/Jimmy O/SAMCRO political machinations. But, I feel like there is too much subterfuge and too little substance to the story line. The Sons are in jeopardy and they are in over their heads, but but the hows and whys are unclear. Moreover, while I love Maureen and could watch Jimmy O be scary as shit all day long, I feel like other supporting characters that I have grown to know and love have been marginalized. Can I tell you how much I miss getting more screen time for Bobby Elvis and Juice?

But in all of my bitching and moaning, Belfast scenes that put together characters that don't regularly interact--like the fabulous scene with all those firece women in Maureen's kitchen happen and it makes me very happy. When Jimmy O pays Gemma, Fiona, Maureen, Kerrianne, and Trinity a visit, it brings the scary ramifications of his dangerous character into focus. This I loved. How incredibly bad ass were all of these women, especially Fiona. Jimmy O was brilliant and menacing. I want to see them reunited in the future just to see the badassery that will go down.

And -- brace yourselves for this one kids -- Gemma pissed me off during this episode. It was fantastic to see her confront Kellan Ashby with full sincerity and not an ounce of fear (another one of those scenes with characters we rarely see together). She got in the way of moving the story forward twice. TWICE. Gemma interrupted Fiona when she was about to elaborate on Kellan Ashby and then she stopped Ashby himself when he brought up John Teller. TWICE. AND WE ARE ON EPISODE 9 OF A 13. THERE IS NO TIME FOR THIS. WHY AM I IMITATING JACK BAUER?

So, let me turn the caps lock off and turn my attention to Charming. While more happened in Charming, it felt very superficial. Finally, finally Unser started doing "cop shit" for matters unrelated to SAMCRO. Enter Oswald to look out for his own economic and political interests by questioning who is buying up all of these buildings.

Oh and hai Jacob Hale you sweaty rat bastard in a cheap suit from JC Penney. Of course Salazar and his girlfran have an app for blackmail. Duuuuhhhh. The thing that bothers the shit out of me me is that there is no way that Salazar should reasonably still be alive to kidnap Tara. Other than to kidnap Tara. That man should have never walked out of the park restroom and the Sons are smart enough to know that. Tara's kidnapping bothers me too but I'm going to save that for another post. Last but certainly not least, there was Margaret's enormous back tattoo. It doesn't look MC related to me. Perhaps she was a groupie in the 1970s? Just a guess but now we know that the sister can relate.

Bits and Pieces

I love Tig, Kozick, and Piney. If noting else, those three need their on Terriers-esqu spin off. But why does Piney hate Tig so much?
Will someone please, pretty please tell Jax and Trinity that they are half-sibilings? The closing scene squicked me out a lot less than the scenes in Lochan Mor but that worries me. Maybe I'm getting used to it but there's a level of familiarity there that could be interesting on a sibling level. I want to get past this incest fear and see what they are like as brother and sister.
Happy asking where Liam was going while Happy just wondered. Awesome.
Thank you, Jax for exercising caution and trying to see all the pieces on the Irish chessboard before proceeding.
I take it that Liam meant to off McGee too, right?
The ghost of John Teller appeared. Cool or dorky?

Finally, a smart commenter @volalupi raised this point in the initial post about Turas and I think it's worth repeating. She wrote:

My biggest annoyance is that not once has the group come out ahead and I just don't think they are that stupid or inept. Being out done some of the time I can bite off on, but getting creamed every time by every one..not so much.

I think that is one of the reasons that I've been so cranky with the show this season. I'm totally along for the ride in expanding the SAMCRO world by sending the characters to Belfast. I get it. I trust Kurt Sutter. I'm all in. It's just that certain elements of the plot have felt like they've been artificially extended or certain devices have been unclear or clunky. Furthermore, like volalupi said, I just find it more and more implausible that the Sons are outdone by their antagonists every single time.

Your thoughts? The comments section awaits.

As always, a very special thanks to @amonmich for the screen caps. Go check out her blog

Some initial thoughts on Turas

2010-11-03T06:04:00.000-07:00

I didn't love last night's Sons of Anarchy. Maybe I'm tired. Maybe I'm sick of having to wake up at 5:00 am on Wednesday mornings for work. Maybe I'm at this miserable time in the semester when I just need not be overwhelmed. Or maybe I've had enough of upping the ante with no character growth, no revelations, and no breaks of the dramatic tension. Maybe I've had too much of seeing SAMCRO acting really off kilter and not being smart enough to out smart the bad guys.

There were several things that pushed my tolerance for suspending disbelief and going along for the ride last night: the ghost of John Teller, the continuing possible almost incest with Jax and Trinity that Gemma doesn't feel the need to stop, the looming asshole character of Father Ashby and the suggestion that he made a promise to John Teller to keep the family safe, and all of the Irish political bullshit that hasn't been explained enough by a long shot. And in the back of my mind, I keep hoping that Tara will actually make a decision about whether to keep or abort Pinky, rather than relying on Salazar's nefarious dealings with Jacob Hale to resolve the situation.

But with all of that being said, there were several things that I loved about this episode. For example: Gemma, Maureen, and Fiona in the kitchen with Jimmy and the girls, Happy asking Liam where he was going, Maragaret's tattoo, Tig and Kozick together with a dash of Piney, and Unser and Oswald joining forces saved it for me.

But maybe I'm just cranky. Maybe I should rewatch it tonight. Maybe I need some xanax, a coffee and a bagel. A more fleshed out recap will come in a day or two.

Sons of Anarchy, Season 3, Episode 8 Lochan Mor, Recap

2010-11-01T18:26:00.000-07:00

So previously on As the Harley Rumbles, we were going to Belfast ya'll and in Lochan Mor (the big pond), SAMCRO has arrived and shit is going on in Charming. Anywho since the action was split by location, I'm going to do the same thing with the recap. To the recapmobile!

Warning: contains profanity, irritation with the main character--aw hell, most of the primary characters-- and general crankiness.

SAMCRO arrives in Belfast ready to ~~kick some ass and get Abel back~~ have tea and party down. The Sons arrive in a swirl of political intrigue between SAMBEL, Jimmy O, and the IRA. Frankly, I don't trust any of these assholes. Maybe McGee. Maybe. However, the rest of those McBastards can go suck a dick. Like for seriously. First, Jimmy O was trying to get SAMCRO deported before they even arrived in Belfast. Then, the IRA tried to send a message by shooting up Fiona and Kerrieanne's transport. Then, Jimmy O and Liam were scheming about something that we'll find out about in the next episode. And, finally, there's the shit with Father Ashby at the end. It makes my head hurt.

While Clay cleverly coerces the corrupt Gardai into letting the Sons slip away from Jimmy's evil clutches of deportation, that's about the only thing that goes well for SAMCRO in Belfast. You need to look no further than one Jackson Teller for a source of general dumbassery. Blah blah blah, Jax is going to Belfast to get his kid. Like he's been talking about getting his kid back for the last two weeks/eight episodes. But he does jack shit about it. I know, I know. It's what Hamlet would do. Jax arrives in Belfast and and what does he do? Does he insist on seeing Kellan Ashby like now motherfuckers? Nope. He has tea with Maureen, nearly makes out with his secret half sister, tosses back a few beers, boxes with Liam, gets creepy flirty with his half sister again, and then is finally summoned by Ashby.

I don't know how much more clearly Kurt Sutter can make his point: Jax doesn't think that he deserves to be happy and to have his son back given his choice to live as an outlaw. Jax is drowning in self loathing and it's overwhelming. When I watched the episode the first time, I thought that Ashby's vow that Abel will be home with his loving family was a bit of the good Father's trickery that Jax didn't notice. But after a second and third watch, I wonder if Jax caught Fr. Ashby's drift. At this point, I think that Jax hates himself so much that he would give up his child to ensure that Sweet Baby Abel would be safe. Jax has already kicked Tara to the curb in a way that he obviously disgraced himself.

My rambling, vodka-fueled rage does have a point and here goes: Abel isn't coming back to Charming. If Jax keeps on this trajectory, Abel's happily ever after is what Kellan Ashby says it is and that HEA isn't with Jax. (Side note: Did anyone else pick up on the Kellan Ashby was John Teller's "spiritual advisor" in the SOA app? What is this guy? An Irish Catholic cult leader?) Mark my words, Abel is going to live to see the end of the season, but he'll never be crossing that pond. Now, that could change if Jax decides to MAN THE FUCK UP and get The Kid Back already. But something has to happen to trigger Jax's decision to pull up his big boy panties and just deal with the situation.

But lest we think that the whole trip to Belfast has been a total bust, at least Chibs was reunited with his family. Oh ya'll I totally cried when the Chibs/Fiona/Kerrianne hug went down. So. Very. Touching. Of course it won't last for long and one of them is likely to end up dead, knowing this show.

I'm leaving out a lot here in the interest of ~~catching up~~ time but of course there were other interesting things going on in Belfast. Gemma is in despair and fear being separated from her family while in prison. All of the scenes with Gemma and Maureen were pure brilliance. And last but certainly not least: WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL JAX AND TRINITY BEFORE THEY KISS OR FUCK OR SHOWER TOGETHER OR SOMETHING. Okay, yes, I feel better now. But that whole situation is totally skeeving me out.

Meanwhile, back in Charming, there's a lot of story building going on so the Sons will have plenty awaiting them when they return from Belfast. Can I tell you how much I love the idea of Tara, Chuckie, Tig, Kozick, and Piney running Teller-Morrow Automotive while everyone is gone? Like that could be the best spin off sitcom. Anyways, Tara and Lyla bond over differing degrees of secret babies and decisions about what to do about said secret babies. Lyla proves herself to be neither stupid nor naive--and a wee bit hilarious with the alias she gave the abortion clinic. Jax (and Opie) can talk about old ladies and keeping them on the inside or the outside all they fucking want. Jax may want to do the noble, self sacrificing thing, but the fact of the matter is that they aren't they only ones making relationship decisions in this universe and thank God that Tara and Lyla are the ones making the decisions.

Finally, we got a glimpse into the dynamics of the Tig/Kozick relationship. Apparently their fued is over a woman that Tig love 8 years ago. And that he thinks of her every day. Uh. I'm hoping that we don't actually ever meet this woman because that bit of knowledge is terrifying.

There was a lot more that happened in Charming--Jacob Hale, Salazar, Unser, Margaret at St. Rednecks--but I'm just going to leave things here for now. Your thoughts? The comments section awaits....

As always, a very special thanks to @amonmich for the screen caps. Go check out her blog

Sons of Anarchy Polls for Lochan Mor

2010-10-24T18:03:00.000-07:00

I'm notoriously bad at predicting what will happen on Sons of Anarchy but SAMCRO's upcoming arrival in Belfast got me wondering what a couple of our favorite characters might expect when they roll into town.

First off, Jax is going to have to find out about Trinity. Right? RIGHT? It only leaves me to wonder...

poll by twiigs.com

Second, Chibs. Oh, dear Chibs. I hope he gets the chance to give Jimmy O the a Glasgow smile. Regardless, Chibs has been banned from Belfast, leading me to wonder....

poll by twiigs.com

Sit Up Straight and Spit Out Your Gum! The Pope is Watching!

2010-10-22T07:54:00.000-07:00

I rarely look at my blog stats - perhaps once a week. Frankly my ego is too fraglie and if people stop reading I might just cry. Well, that might be an exaggeration but traffic is pretty predictable and I know people are reading so I'm not too concerned about specifics.

Unless there is a particularly interesting statistic that catches my eye when I actually do look at my traffic stats. Say if someone from Vatican City was googling "Irish priest" and came across my blog. That would be interesting, wouldn't it? Well, lookie here...

My initial reaction was HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Of course there would be some lowly priest in the Vatican googling his time away trying to find out what bloggers might be writing about Irish priests. Because... well... duh. But then I got to wondering, doesn't the Catholic Church have souls to save or something? Shouldn't they be reaching out to lapsed Catholics (like yours truly) instead of running lame google searches to find out what people are writing about priests? Or maybe feeding the hungry? Or something other than spending time on Google? Just sayin.

Sons of Anarchy, Season 3, Episode 7 Widening Gyre, Recap

2010-10-20T20:08:00.000-07:00

Previously on As the Harley Rumbles, Jax was a shit and made a deal with the devil, Tara was preggers, and SAMCRO made peace with the Mayans.

Widening Gyre is the story of SAMCRO intrigue. Oh, and SAMCRO getting their mojo back and THANK GOD because all of the unease and uncertainty from the previous 6 episodes were sending me on the fast track to klonopin-influenced television watching. Windening Gyre delivered on its promise of showing us the further deepening vortex of bad shit that SAMCRO is stuck in.

The SAMCRO/Mayan/Grim Bastards/Calaveras revenge negotiations for the particularly gruesome death a of Grim Bastard were brilliant for two reasons. First, we got to see the dynamics of the alliance with the Mayans work. And quick like. It was great to see SAMCRO on sure footing in how they would deal with the situation of bringing Alvarez into the look while keeping TO from the Grim Bastards satisfied. The uncertainty that SAMCRO had in the immediate wake after The Kid was kidnapped seems to have dissipated. Second, not killing Salazar seems like an obvious way to set up the future, possible ramifications of the peace deal. I wonder if the decision was left to Clay, which member of that bullshit MC would have had his brains splattered across a bank of urinals. If given a second to think, I suspect Salazar wouldn't have walked out of the pisser. Instead, TO jumped the gun and took out the obvious fall guy for the multiple gunshot and then 12 inch chef's knife in the back of the skull killing of a brother. Salazzar and his girlfriend are hot on Tara's heels. Oh noes! What can this mean for Pinky!*

(*Pinky is what I've decided to call the seed of Tarjaxa because I can't bring myself to call if Cain. Plus, I feel pretty confident that it's a girl.)

The whole sequence of moving all of the members of SAMCRO into place to get them on the plane to fly to Manchester felt very much like a great caper movie. Gemma was side-dealing with Tara to escape via ice bath (shiver). The were guys planning their itinerary and deciding what to wear and what to pack. Finally, and fabulously, Tig leading the cops away from Gemma, Jax, and Clay in the great escape with such genuine outlaw glee. Everyone was healthy, rosy cheeked, and ready for the adventure because SAMCRO was doing what it does best -- acting rather than wallowing. Noticed no one has called Gemma crazy in a few episodes now? Notice how Jax no longer has those hellacious bags under his eyes? Tig has a spring in his step and Opie is fully engaged with his bromance with Jax.

But with all of this said, SAMCRO is going to need every bit of their mojo that they've reclaimed for what awaits them in Belfast. On the SAMBELL front, McGee and Liam are apparently in cahoots with Jimmy O, signaling SAMCRO's arrival. The good, frightening, Father Ashby is holding down the fort at Maureen's house with getting care for the young kid who suffered from collateral damage. Then there's Fiona who is friends enough to be on a clothes sharing basis with Maureen. Finona seems genuinely afraid of Jimmy, doesn't she? I suppose whether she is afraid of him for political/philosophical reasons or for actual personal saftey reasons remains to be seem. KerrieAnne seemed so despondent that it made me even more anxious for Chibs to arrive to see what their relationship is like.

As far as I can tell, this is what the relationships look like to me.

I think that John Teller is one missing piece to this whole puzzle but so is the relationship between SAMBELL and Jimmy O. What's their vested interest in all of this? Why would the scuttle their relationship with their brothers in Charming for Jimmy O's arms game?

But while all this is going on, there's the undercurrent of Ideal Characteristics for Old Lady (TM) thread that runs through this episode. We open with the aftermath of Jax fucking Ima to hurt/protect/alienate/Edward Cullen-ize Tara. Yes, my dear readers it's the "I love you so much that I have to hurt you to protect you" trope. Needless to say that I'm not a huge fan of this but it was explained, rationalized, and defended with sufficient care so as not to make us feel like Tara had been completely abused. Even better? Tara's not buying Jax's line of bullshit. Like at all. She's audi and might even exercise her right to choose. Tara and Gemma will always be BFFs forevahhhhhhhhhh and I fully endorse their friendship. Didn't you totally want to be in a Gemma and Tara sandwich when the embraced at the end of The Great Gemma Escape?

Finally, in all of this Tarjaxa skank-assed-ho-meets-covert-baby-mama-drama, Opie proves that he is his father's son with the plethora of great one-liners he rattles off about the ramifications of porn pussy. Although none of the high-traffic vajayjay concerns actually apply to him. And, Opie swoon hair down.

Bits and pieces

I want Chuckie to serve me coffee every morning.
Happy is going to Belfast!
Margaret Murphy is totally Tara's Unser and I luv her.
Unser, what happened to you? I'm glad you found your ethics but it seemed to be at a very inconvenient time.
Where's Darby?
Gemma telling Margaret Murphy that they can't get involved in Jax and Tara's relationship was LOL-lariously hypocritical.
So Trinity is Jax's half sister. No big shocker there.
I love Maureen more and more with every episode.
What was Lyla going to tell Opie? I have a feeling it wasn't good.
Also, I'm totally in love with Lyla for giving That Skank Ho a serious smack.

All of the screen caps in this post are from Bobby Elivs' Bake Sale, a great site run by @amonmich. Go check out her excellent SOA caps and follow her on twitter while you're at it.

Weekend Marathon?

2010-10-19T10:11:00.000-07:00

So, The LSH (Also known as @Angry_Traveler) is going to be away on a boys weekend in Kiawah ~~pretending to like playing golf~~ with his fellow consulting nerds. He'll be gone from Thursday afternoon until Sunday afternoon. Aside from my niece's third birthday party on Saturday (yes, there will be a bouncy castle, yes, I am totally getting in it, and yes, there will be pictures), I am completely free for the weekend. My plans? Marathon tv series viewing/catch up.

Now this is where ya'll come in. What should I watch? Here's what I am considering:

The Wire - I'm half way through Season 1, so I'd hope to get through seasons 2 and 3
Friday Night Lights - Haven't watched any of it.
The Shield - Much like The Wire, I'm half way through Season 1.
Something else?

Sound off in the comments section...

Sons of Anarchy, Season 3, Episode 7, Widening Gyre Preview

2010-10-18T18:08:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to be able to get to a full recap of The Push this week because frankly I'm burnt out from wiring about ~~people losing everything they own in a disaster~~ other shit that has nothing to do with television. Also: I've got something special related to Sons of Anarchy in the works that may or may not have something to do with a blog post I wrote a year ago.

In the meantime, since I didn't write a recap, you should go check out Mo Ryan's review of The Push because that is what I'd write if I were that smart and thoughtful.

Looking forward to tomorrow night, I'm wondering what we have in store for Widening Gyre. We already know that a gyre, at least in the context of Sons of Anarchy, is an evil vortex of converging circumstances from hell. The episode description of Widening Gyre is totally unhelpful and totally vague:

The Grim Bastards have a problem that could jeopardize Samcro's new business arrangements.

If I were a betting woman, I'd put money on the show ending with SAMCRO barely making it to wheels up on Onswald's cargo plane. Take a looksee at the clip:

The photos (from FX via Daemon's TV) look like we're going to see some of the Belfast characters in this episode too. Kerrieanne is a beuaty, isn't she? Jimmy O was right (shudder). More photos after the jump.

Sons of Anarchy - The Push

2010-10-13T05:47:00.000-07:00

It's going to take me until the weekend to write a full recap of Sons of Anarchy, 3.06 The Push (grrrr real life work demands) but in the meantime, here are some initial thoughts:

Take note, Jax: true love is standing in the bathroom talking to your wife while she takes a leak.
The deal with the Mayans seemed almost too easy. There has got to be a catch.
Gemma is going along with Jax and Stahl's plan. For now.
I think Stahl set up her girlfriend/colleague on purpose.
I could write volumes on why Jax's decisions in relationship issues lead me to have a tenuous grip on reality. Suffice it to say that I do think he loves Tara but I also think he has a bit of a madonna/whore complex going on -- in a way. He wants Tara to be good and save lives but he also wants her to know the full truth about his life in the MC. Jax is really wearing his indecision like a suit of armor, it keeps Tara close enough to suit him and the club but not so close that he genuinely has emotional intimacy with her. For now, I''ll echo Clay's "Don't make things more complicated than then need to be" and leave it at that. ~~THANK GOD SOMEONE SAID THAT TO JAX.~~
This season is testing my bullshit meter in terms of the plausibility of certain plot devices. Doesn't anyone in SAMCRO have a credit card? Or a passport? Why has it been so hard for them to do seemingly basic things like get a telephone number? I've got to assume that at least Tara has an Amex card she could buy plane tickets with. Right?
I kinda think Kozick is a rat. Tig's "You can't trust him" seemed prophetic.
Opie No Hat! Again!

Overall, another fantastic episode. More to come this weekend.

Bloggerversary

2010-10-11T05:33:00.000-07:00

Last week marked my one year anniversary of blogging and recapping Sons of Anarchy. In early posts when I would refer to my "dear three readers," I wasn't joking. In October 2009 during my first full month of blogging I had 76 visitors total and a year later I had 3,245 visitors in September 2010. Kind of crazy, isn't it? Initially I started this blog to entertain myself, to have an outlet for my Sons of Anarchy obsession, and to give myself a writing outlet that didn't involve operationalizing variables or standard deviations. What I have gotten out of this blog has been so much more. I've made great friends, become a part of the SOA fan community, and had a lot of fun in the process.

I just want to say thanks. Thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, and thanks for helping me to realize that I'm not the only one SOAOCD (Sons of Anarchy Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

Now, on to another year!

Sons of Anarchy: What is a Widening Gyre?

2010-10-10T17:11:00.000-07:00

If you've been asking yourself, what is a widening gyre and what the hell does it have to do with Sons of Anarchy, you're not alone. My SAT vocabulary went right out of my head as soon as I finished taking the exam. A bit of Googling reveals that a gyre is a vortex that usually occurs in nature like a cyclone, hurricane, or an ocean gyre (that swirly thing in the middle of the picture above). It seems to me that for Sons of Anarchy, the widening gyre is this perfect storm of Abel's abduction, problems with the Irish, relationship problems for Jax and Tara's tru lurv, the brewing problems with the Mayans, and the people of Charming turning on SAMCRO. When you add it all up, how much worse could it get? Much worse, I'm sure.

But wait! There's more. And it's literary. Apparently Kurt Sutter has been reading Yeats. W. B. Yeats wrote The Second Coming in 1919 that essentially a post-apocalyptic view of the world in advance of the second coming. Sure he wrote it as an allegory for post-war Europe but read it's much more fun to read it in the context of Sons of Anarchy--particularly because the previous episode was titled Turning and Turning. Take a gander for yourself:

Turning and turning in the widening gyre

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;

Surely the Second Coming is at hand.

The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out

When a vast image out of Spritus Mundi

Troubles my sight: somewhere in the sands of the desert

A shape with lion body and the head of a man,

A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,

Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it

Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.

The darkness drops again; but now I know

That twenty centuries of stony sleep

were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,

Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

At first glance anarchy loosed on the world suggests that SAMCRO is going to Ireland. The bloody tide means that this vortex of violence, consequences, and revenge is going to be deadly. Innocence gone? Perhaps this suggests that Jax will no longer idolize John Teller after he gets a more realistic picture of the man. The good losing their conviction and the bad are strong and willful--does this mean that SAMCRO's enemies might triumph this time?

What do ya'll think? The comments section awaits.

Sons of Anarchy, Season 3, Episode 5, Turning and Turning Recap

2010-10-07T17:05:00.000-07:00

Previously on Sons of Anarchy ~~As the Harley Rumbles~~, Jax was a shit, Gemma FINALLY found out about Abel, and Piney was awesome. During Turning and Turning, things certainly didn't get any better for anyone in or connected to SAMCRO.

I don't know about ya'll but this season fills me with a sense of uneasiness. With every episode and every plot point, I feel a growing sense of uncertainty for the characters that I love and what terrible thing might happen to them in every scene. And I'm okay with it. ~~Although, it does make me feel like an idiot to have gotten so excited all day Tuesday only to feel like my heart has been ripped out at 11:00 pm that night.~~ Why is Sons of Anarchy shaping up the way it has? I've boiled it down to this: either Kurt Sutter wants us to feel the same uncertainty that the characters are feeling or he wants to see if we'll follow the characters into the abyss of violence, anger and manipulation to see what things look like on the other side. Either way, I'm in. Now, on to the recap! In many ways, Turning and Turning was all about secrets--keeping secrets, revealing secrets, and creating new secrets.

We open at St. Rednecks where Gemma is recovering from her not-heart attack while simultaneously in custody because of her not-surrender to the ATF. And wouldn't you know it, the Beautiful Queen of Bikers is pissed that everyone lied to her about The Kid for trying to protect themselves from her wrath. But now that everyone finally knows that Sweet Baby Abel is in Belfast thank God because that only took 5 bloody episodes, what stones might get unturned when Jax shows up? Gemma and Clay looked more than concerned, didn't they? What secret are the keeping from Jax? I'm guessing that Trinity will be the tip of the iceberg.

Gemma and Tara have a moment and it's not a happy one nor is it badass. It's painful and cruel. The first time I watched it, I thought OMFGWTF how could Gemma do that to Tara. But, when I watched the scene a second time, I read Gemma's "Nothing you could have done about that? What if it was your baby? Your flesh and blood?" as cruel, yes but also coming from a deep well of pain that Gemma has from being away from her family and being lied to. Perhaps in their closeness, Gemma felt that she could lash out at Tara because the good doctor is in it for the long haul. After all, Gemma did say that Tara being pregnant was good for now but didn't elaborate because she couldn't influence Jax chained to a hospital bed. (Ut-oh. I think I'm a Gemma apologist.)

I think when Tara broke down and started crying, Gemma knew why she didn't take a bullet or do more to stop old Cammie Hayes. Pregnant. Yeap. Pregnant. Tara isn't going to be able to keep that secret for very long, is she? I can't really decided whether Tara got herself knocked up on purpose or not. Condoms break and the pill is only 99% effective. However, Tara is a smart girl so she knows the formula for getting pregnant (knocked up = ovulation + hot sexy times with jax - birth control). I'm not convinced either way. What about ya'll? There's a poll up at the top right hand side of the page, now go cast your vote.

Yay! Finally! Juice gets some screen time...
only to get his cut stolen and the shit beat out of him.

Meanwhile, Bobby-Elvis, Juice, Tig go out to sell their accumulated roids at Lumpy's Boxing Club where there seems to be some crafty developer at work buying up old parcels so he can put in a Pottery Barn, Starbucks, Williams Sonoma, and Banana Republic. Things are not good, yo. The enemy is battering the walls of Castle Elsinore. And then shit gets worse when the boys go to sell Adderall to the Chicken Man when Juice gets jacked by the Calaveras. (Psssst. Hey, hook a sister up and sell that it me! It's a performance enhancing drug in academia. I shit you not.)

At least the picture of Chuckie is nice. He looks happy, no?

Their solution? Infiltrate Mayan Janatorial Supply/Meth Cuttery of Doom with the help of Chuckie. Yay! I love Chuckie but why did he have to get beaten up in the process? I prefer my Chuckie happy and serving coffee and banana bread at the Crow's Nest. Or masturbating in front of customers at Teller-Morrow Automotive. Anyways, the Mayans are building up resources and facilities to run their dugs in right through Charming. Not. Good. Not good at all.

Finally, over at ATF Bitchface's bland condo, Jax shows up with a present and a deal. He wants reduced gun charges for SAMCRO, a walk for Gemma, and The Kid back in exchange for his delivery of Jimmy O and his signed statement about Jimmy's involvement in the gun trade. I never knew snitch would suit Jax so well. And I mean that in the nicest way possible. I mean, what could go wrong when you rat out a business partner, all the while keeping it a secret from your Outlaw MC? I mean, there is nothing that could possibly go wrong with that deal. Because Sons of Anarchy never plays up the consequences of its characters bad decisions. Nope. Never, ever, ever.

The thing is that Jax doesn't have very many options outside of striking this deal with Agent Bitchface. She's got Gemma cowed in a hospital bed, ready to cut a deal. The Sons are set to go away to jail for a while. And that's not to say that they won't go to jail anyways because they will. Sometimes the devil you know, is better than the devil you don't and Jax is trying to make the best of the situation. And the situation is dire. Shit just keeps getting worse and worse (see above: my growing uneasiness) Is this the right decision? Only time will tell. But whatever happens, you can bet that it's going to land on Jax -- good or bad.

Bits and Pieces

Stahl's line, "Hey, I'm in the room kids." was great.
"Who's Maureen Ashby?" asked Jax. Darlin, you better sit your ass down for what's about to come next.
I loved the way Clay cock blocked Unser when he came to pay Gemma a visit at the hospital. (Side note: it's a proud day when you need to search the Urban Dictionary to find out if it is cock block or cockblock)
Trinity is a brat. Must run in the family.
Clay holding the mirror while Gemma plucks her eyebrows. As if we needed any more confirmation of who wears the pants in that relationship.
How much sugar did Jax put in that cup of coffee? I was expecting the stir stick to stand straight up when he put it in the cup.
I really want to see Chibs cut Jimmy O from ear to ear. Wouldn't that be poetic justice?
Tara's request for a leave was denied. I am so loving what they are doing with Hospital Administrator Bitchface that I might have to make up a new nickname for her.
What did Jax do with Luke's driver? Wouldn't he sound the alarm to Jimmy O in Belfast?
CAN WE PLEASE JUST GO TO BELFAST ALREADY AND GET SWEET BABY ABEL?

As usual, the photos are from Bobby Elivs' Bake Sale so thanks to @amonmich for the images.

Also, also: don't forget to vote in the Did Tara Get Pregnant on Purpose Poll at the top, right side of the page.

Sons of Anarchy, Season 3, Episode 4, Home Recap

2010-10-03T16:46:00.000-07:00

Previously on Sons of Anarchy, the Guatemalan Hottie met Bachman, Opie lost his marbles at the porn party, John Teller and Maureen Ashby might have had a love child, and Jax pissed me off.

In this week's Sons of Anarchy... well... let's just deal with what went down in the basement. Jax thought it would be a good idea to remind Tara of her place in the SAMCRO pecking order which is apparently is nonexistent. He basically told her:

You're not coming with because your place is at work.
We're not your family
You want to be an old lady? THEN DO AS YOU'RE TOLD.

Jax may be right on the first point and Gemma actually came up with a well reasoned explanation as to why Tara should to remain in Charming. Someone needs to hold down the fort and take care of The Kid.

And that is where all reasonableness ends. To say that Tara isn't a part of the family is just patently absurd. Tara has known and/or been involved with Jax on and off since she was a teenager. Tara is right, Abel is hers too. She has been caring for Sweet Baby Abel since he was born. It was Tara and Gemma babysitting, changing diapers, feeding him soy-based forumla, and dealing with his apnea. Where was The Prince of Charming in all of this? No where to be found. Jax isn't going to win any Father of The Year awards any time soon. He didn't even really seem to care when Wendy was pregnant or when Abel was in jeopardy right after his birth. Jax seems to be the only one to think that Tara isn't family. Gemma and Clay are on board Tara as family train.

For whatever reason, Tara wants to hold the family together. This clearly comes from page 38 of the Gemma Teller-Morrow Handbook on How To Be An Old Lady. But Jax, in spite of all of his talk and bombast, is (1) doing nothing beyond talking a big game about finding Abel and generally yelling at people and (2) allowing Abel's abduction to fracture his family. He should be lucky that he has his brothers in the MC who will back him up no matter what. He probably doesn't appreciate it or realize it because it's Jax's world ya'll and everyone else just lives in it. (See: Opie attending the porn party. Jax is fundamentally a bad friend for not stepping in and insulating his pal the MC's fundraising enterprise. And this isn't the first time Jax has been a bad friend.)

Now let's deal with the DO AS YOU'RE TOLD. Or from here on out, referred to as the DAYT moment. Since Tara has been attending the Gemma Teller-Morrow School of Old Lady Training let's considering the following questions: Does Gemma do as she's told? Does Gemma fall in line like a subservient sheep? Have we ever seen Clay speak to Gemma like that. No, nope, and not on his life. And even if you take it outside of the Gemma-centric way of looking at things, the DAYT dictum seems a lot more consistent with a Croweater than it does an Old Lady.

Jax, you're being a petulant little asshole. Wait. Correction. A hypocritical, petulant little asshole. Let me get this straight: it's totes okay for you to to help Tara kill Kohn, or to help Opie kill a guy who was wrongly fingered for killing Donna, or to gun down Weston in the shitter but it's not okay for Gemma and Tara to accidentally kill the Guatemalan hottie?

That's it, Jax. This whole kidnapping is bringing out the absolute worst in you. I can hope for some sort of redemption by the end of the season but until then, I'm breaking up with you. And Tara should too.

PS: Gemma finally found out about Abel. Jesus. It took 4 episodes for that to happen. And then it caused her to have a cliffhanger/maybe heart attach.

PPS: I <3 Piney. And so does Honey.

PPPS: Tig is my new hero for being exasperated by Gemma and Tara.

Just like last week, the screen caps come courtesy of Bobby Elvis' Bake Sale

Shit Flooded Ya'll

2010-09-30T09:25:00.000-07:00

So, shit flooded last night. It's still raining. First, I explored the backyard. Ordinarily the black dog would be all over this because, he's a lab and he loves water but he was uncertain this morning...

So rather than play in the water, he decided it would be a good idea to drink it. Meanwhile, the Yellow Dog decided it was time to run through our new pool like there was no tomorrow.

The Black Dog was still such a ninny that, he wouldn't leave me alone long enough to take a picture of how deep the water in our backyard actually is. So yes, my leg is in the picture somewhere and the water comes to mid-calf.

Elsewhere in the neighborhood, the lunatics who take care of their lawn as if it were a putting green were not immune to flooding overnight. See that line? That's a debris line, marking how high the flood waters came up onto their front yard.

Here's a side street, overflowing drainage ditch with water spilling out into the street.

This is from the street next to ours. It flooded out completely last night. See that nasty black line on the political sign? That's another debris line. Yes, the water came up that high.

Ah, good times.

Hey Kayteadee, Where's the Sons of Anarchy Recap?

2010-09-29T18:54:00.000-07:00

So, I have a big deadline. And shit is actually happening with my dissertation -- but in a good way. And I have 75 papers to grade. And my backyard is flooding. My point is that the recap is coming but it will be delayed. I promise, it's coming....probably some time over the weekend.

But until then, just let me say: I AM NOT HAPPY WITH YOU JACKSON TELLER. NO ONE TALKS TO TARA LIKE THAT. SO STEP OFF WITH YOUR ACCURATE YET ANNOYING WHITE SNEAKS, YOU LITTLE PUNK.

You can count on the recap being very Jax-centric. Because, apparently it's Jax's world and the rest of us just need to do as we're told. Grrr

Also, also. I had a conversation with my father-in-law about the accents because he's from Dublin and has a good ear for those things, and he is Sons fan. I kind of love that in the past he has referred to the IRA shit and the people involved as "those idiots with bombs in the north" Anywho, the conversation went like this:

Kayteadee: I have to ask. How do you feel about the accents on Sons of Anarchy?

FiL Dee: Pretty authentic but even I wish they provided subtitles.

There. Feel better now?

Sons of Anarchy, Season 3, Episode 3, Caregiver Recap

2010-09-22T20:44:00.000-07:00

Previously on As the Harley Rumbles, the use baby oil was invoked as the humane thing to do, Cammie Hayes made it back home only to face the most severe consequence for his actions, SAMCRO started getting a sense what the Mayans were up to, and none of us could understand the Irish accents.

I'm particularly long-winded on this recap, so go to the bathroom, pop some popcorn, and tuck in. Overall, Caregiver was about fidelity. By fidelity, I mean loyalty and tests of loyalty. Caregiver opens with SAMCRO engaged in business with the Grim Bastards and they seem to be loyal to each other in a genuine way that serves their mutual self interests. In contrast Luke and his IRA connections are testing the old loyalty John Teller established for the MC in the gun running business. The whole soldier versus army line that Luke feeds SAMCRO makes it perfectly clear that the IRA's loyalty is to its own cause and not SAMCRO. But fidelity cuts both ways.

In the aftermath of the drive-by, the loyalty of the town of Charming to SAMCRO is in question. Now that the violence of the MC has spilled over in the town, can you blame them? The Deputy Chief of Police gets killed, a kid gets shot, and that is to say nothing about the damage done to Chuckie. Oswald has to cut SAMCRO loose because of his political ambitions and it seems like they temporarily part ways in an amicable way. I wonder how long that will hold. With Oswald's land in jeopardy for development if he has to forfeit it if the Sons jump bail.

Let's deal with Jax and his fidelity issues. We know Jax does shit without thinking and can be selfish and immature. He knows he does shit without thinking about the consequences. In spite of that, I generally root for Jax. In the first episode of season 3, Piney tells Jax that he's loyal, he's good, and he wants the right things. That was true before Caregiver. But after Caregiver? Not so much. All of that about being loyal, good, and wanting the right things seems to be falling away. Is it Jax's showing the true nature of his character? Or is this what having a missing child does to a person? So far his loyalty to himself seems to be winning out over his loyalty to anything or anyone else.

What makes me think this? It's becoming clear that Jax is talking a good game about tracking down Abel but that hasn't translated into action. Jax tells everyone that he is going to find Abel but if it were so important to him, would he still be sitting around the bar having drinks with Opie in the club house? Would he really let a 3 day old lead to Vancouver grow cold? Would any father with a missing kid sit around drinking and bitching about his girlfriend instead of following down every lead? He says that he's motivated, all fired up to find Abel but his actions don't reflect that. He gets petulant with Luke the Irish guy but it just gets turned into a lot of pacing and sulking. He wants to do the right thing--find his son--but in classic Jax mode, he hasn't been working hard enough to DO the right thing.

Is he worried about his kid? Is he wondering who is taking care of kid? If the kid is well cared for? Nope -- or if he is thinking those things, it isn't showing. He's worried about Tara wanting to take a leave of absence and what her know-everything old lady status means for the longevity of their relationship. Alert: Jax is questioning the longevity of his relationship with Tara. Cue Ima. What Jax would have done if Juice hadn't opened that email from SAMBEL just then. I'm not one of these huge Jax/Tara obsessed people but Jax being good and loyal doesn't really jibe with wanting to nail a porn star while you're going through some shit with your girlfriend and your kid has been abducted. See Jax being loyal to himself makes a lot of sense, doesn't it?

Tara, in spite of her general dumbassery for cutting Amelia loose (Note: I find it hard to believe that Tara is really that stupid. She's been to the school of WWGD and taught by the mistress herself), has proven that if she's in for a penny with SAMCRO by being loyal to the club, then she's in it for a fucking pound. I'm starting to think that Tara is more loyal to club than Jax is because Jax is only loyal to himself. Did she not draw the line no truth/to pussy? Did she run away from the conversation with Jax about taking a leave of absence? Is she apologetic for defending the club and Gemma to Hospital Bitchface? Nope. She's all in, baby. Not without a barfing her guts out. More so than Jax has been with his petulant wavering. The only time we see Tara remotely waver is when she's barfing her guts out after the Guatemalan Hottie is killed/accidentally stabs her self.

Speaking of Tig's Guatemalan Hottie, the swift, efficiently way that Tig and Gemma decided to call the cleaner shouldn't have been surprising. Gemma had already done the logical heavy lifting to kill her: foreigner with no friends or family that the system wouldn't care about. Easy-peasey.

We haven't had a lot of information about the sexual fidelity between Gemma and John Teller but this week we got a pretty good idea. It seems as if Maureen and JT had a relationship. The good Father Ashby reminded Maureen that John Teller's family was in Charming. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? Huuuuuuuuuuuuuh? His cruelty in pointing this out suggested there was something more than a simple fling between Marueen and JT. Could there be something more? Like a love child? Well, meet Trinity. A little simple math would put her around 18 or 19. Right around the time John Teller returned to Charming from Belfast. She could totally be Jax's half-sister, couldn't she? If this is true, do you think Gemma knows?

And finally Opie and his fidelity to Lyla. Obviously Opie has an old school notion of fidelity, meaning no one sticks their dick in my woman except for me. Lyla's notion of fidelity is somewhat different. She sees sex as a financial transaction while her heart is loyal to Opie. It nearly broke my heart when Opie told Lyla that he didn't want her to end up sad. (Brilliant acting by Ryan Hurst) But what did Opie mean? Sad like him? Sad like Donna was? But this little bit of dialogue is telling about the depths of Opie and Lyla's relationship and it's fucking funny:

Jax: Looks like you guys are working things out

Opie: I can never tell. Every time I try to talk to her we end up naked

Bobby: Just marry her. That'll stop it.

I just have one question: Why have we not seen any of this Opie nakedness? Whhhhhhyyyyyy? Anyways, I'm totallty Team Lyla at this point. She's might be a porn star, but she's a porn star with heart who calls Piney Pop and picks up the kids from school. But the lack of not talking about things is taking its toll on Opie. He loses his shit at the Chinese porn party. Who thought it would be a good idea for him to be there in the first place?

Odds and Ends:

So the gun charges are still in play. For the price that SAMCRO is paying per hour, you'd think they'd challenge Charming's motion to revoke their bail based on double jeopardy. Moreover, why isn't their lawyer filing a motion to dismiss if the state's case has fallen apart? Just sayin.
A nice bit of continuity from season-to-season: the Sons are still running handguns in bedrolls for the IRA.
Stephen King was brilliantly creepy and hilarious as the cleaner. From the 80's music to taking the gilded praying hands to feeling up the then-dead Amelia (and you know Tig was jealous). everything. It was a perfect mix of good writing and credible stunt casting that fit with the plot.
Why does Jacob Hale dress like Rodney Dangerfield? Cheap suit, loose tie, slightly sweaty.
Katey Sagal + Hal Holbrook = Amazing.
Gemma's stupid bitch line. Referring to herself.
Cherry! But why was she wearing a lederhosen/diaper thing?
How does Gemma's BlackBerry still have a charge?
Still needs more Juice.

Just like last week, the screen caps come courtesy of Bobby Elvis' Bake Sale

What did ya'll think of this week's episode? Also: GEMMA STILL DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT ABEL. ZOMG. HOW LONG ARE THEY GOING TO DRAG THIS OUT?

Sons of Anarchy, Season 3, Episode 3, Caregiver Preview

2010-09-20T20:18:00.000-07:00

What do we have in store this week for Sons of Anarchy, entitled Caregiver? Well, for once the official official synopsis from the FX website is not irritatingly vague this week. It is as follows:

To secure weapons and raise money for Abel's search, the club exploits its porn connections to entertain Henry Lin's clients, which doesn't sit well with Opie. Jax's decisions to search for Abel in Canada gets derailed. When Gemma's dad goes MIA, her prisoner makes plans to do the same.

It seems as if we're about to get some more insight on that bit of foreshadowing about tensions in Opie and Lyla's relationship. Is the Opester really okay with his old lady being a porn star? Are there boundaries ~~like no coke and no anal~~? I guess we'll find out.

Now, on to the preview that has seemingly nothing to do with the synopsis.

It looks like we're going to spend a good bit of time at what @TVKel calls the "Gemma Annex" in Nate Madoc's house. I wonder if everyone is going to converge at the Gemma Annex because of Nate's disappearance. Don't forget that Stephen King makes a guest appearance to... ahem... clean up a particular situation. Maybe it's Tig's Guatemalan Hottie. Maybe it's someone who was found at the wrong end of Nate Madoc's rifle. Your guess is as good as mine. If this photo is any indication, shit isn't going to be pretty (BTW, I got this from Daemon's TV you can see this pic and a few others from the episode here.)

While you're ~~wasting time at work on Tuesday~~ anticipating Caregiver, you can check out some of my favorite reviews of Oiled, including Alan Sepinwall's review that includes some good thoughts on the hospital administrator, Mo Ryan's review breaks it down by location, and Kel Kendrick has a great breakdown of the Tarjaxa dynamics. Finally, The Crow Blogger has a brand-spanking new post up about mothers, sons, and Sons of Anarchy, and the Watchers of Anarchy and Girl of Mayhem are podcasting their hearts out and recapping the episodes in audio format

Also, is Gemma finally going to find out about Abel during this episode? What do you think her reaction might be?

Sons of Anarchy and Irish Accents

2010-09-16T10:17:00.000-07:00

If you're anything like me, you had some problems understanding some of the Irish accents on Sons of Anarchy this week. I'm particularly annoyed since half of my family members actually have strong Irish accents. Anyways, rather than renting a Intermission every week to fine tune your ears to get all of the dialogue, I've transcribed three of the conversations from Oiled. They're not perfect, not exact, but they should help a bit. More after the jump.

The conversation between Cameron Hayes and Fr. Kellan Ashby at the start of the episode

Cameron: ATF set up Eddie.

Ashby: You've got more than one strike coming.

Cameron: Never should have made that deal with the AB (Aryan Brotherhood) just knowing Jimmy's plans for pushing out the Sons

Ashby: Jimmy doesn't make those decisions. You killed a man who is part of an organization who we've been allied to for more than 20 years. You kidnapped the grandson of the man responsible for that union. John Teller was a friend.

Cameron: The child is fine father. Mo's looking after him. Took care of him like he was my own. I know our history is deep with the Sons but Jesus, it was John's old lady that murdered my boy. There's got to be some understanding that.

Ashby: I'll speak to jimmy and the Council. the sons will require some further thought.

Cameron: Thank you.

The telephone conversation between Jimmy O and Ashby

Jimmy O: I'm telling you, Eddie set me up. Put me at the safe house so ATF could catch me with the guns. Clay can back me up, he was there.

Ashby: jaysus

Jimmy O: I find it hard to believe that Cammie wasn't privy to what his son was doing. Needs to go away, quietly.

Ashby: That's a council decision

Jimmy O: He's a tout. The decision's obvious.

Ashby: Been away so long jimmy, you forget how we do things at home. It's not a one man army.

Jimmy O: Forgive me father, I don't swing incense at St Matt's/Mark's anymore.

Ashby: Oh I'm very aware of that that. What are we going to do with clay's old lady killing edmund?

Jimmy O: Meeting with SAMCRO this afternoon. What about the wee one?

Ashby: The baby's safe

Jimmy O: Okay, i'll give you a bell after we talk with the Sons

....... hangs up.........

Jimmy O's Henchman: Troubles?

Jimmy O: Our good priest, getting a might too godly for his collar

The conversation between Maureen and Ashby

Maureen: He's a special one

Ashby: We're all special at that wee age. Where's trinity?

Maureen: She's out on holiday with a friend. How's our cousin?

Ashby: I heard from jimmy. he has proof that eddie worked for the feds

Maureen: Oh shit

Ashby: It's worse. He spoke to clay. It wasn't gemma that killed the boy, it was atf.

Maureen: Oh Jesuss. Kellan, no.

Ashby: I know. I've counsulted with the council. If we leave it to jimmy or the mc.... it will be brutal, Mo.

Maureen: Yeah I know. How does it land on the cause?

Ashby: Erase it all. see cammie erased. No trace at all he was here.

Maureen: Last thing Jimmy wants is SAMCRO showing up here looking for this one

Ashby: Yes, that would complicate matters.

Maureen: And what do you desire father ashby?

Ashby: To give the sacraments to make sure our kill winds up on the right side of god.

Sons of Anarchy, Season 3, Episode 2 Oiled, Recap

2010-09-15T22:09:00.000-07:00

I should begin the recap of Sons of Anarchy by saying something smart about what the show meant and then try to tie it all together but I just can't. Because... well... Tig was fucking awesome in Oiled. Let's engage in a bit of Tigapalooza because I need to get it out my system before I can focus on the rest of the episode. I think that bottles of baby oil will become a sort of shorthand among fans of Sons of Anarchy much like skateboards are now. No Vaseline by the great warrior poet Ice Cube certainly takes on new meaning in light of this week's episode of Sons of Anarchy. Anyways... on to the Electric Tigaloo:

Oh, Tig, you creepy fuck. I've missed you. It seemed like you were so consumed by guilt about killing Donna that you might never get your mojo back. But boy howdy, did you ever. Was it the way you turned the Hummels around in the curio cabinet so they weren't staring at you? It was good start and a nice bit of art imitating life. Was it the short, pink, flowery satin robe that set off your curly locks so well? Perhaps. Was it the light reflecting off the bottle of baby oil that made your blue eyes sparkle? Maybe. Was it the fact that Little Tig is so big that the "humane" thing is to lube your joint up before you bump uglies with the help? Yeap. That's it. And the way you got your mojo back was so... animalistic. It's as if you've had a similar experience with a different species of mammal before. And even though you got shot by Gemma's dad, you still handled it with panache. (I'm putting a picture of Tig naked going to town on Amelia after the jump for those of you who haven't had the image burned into your memory.)

Okay, my dear ~~three~~ readers, on with the rest of the recap. Previously on as the Harley Rumbles, Gemma was reunited with her dad, Jax was sad/angry/naked, Tara grew a pair, Clay was awesome, and Hale was offed.

First, let's start with Gemma because I gave her reunion with her father a short shrift in the last recap. How lovely is it that Nate Madoc is excited to see his daughter? The joy is truly touching. And the heartbreak of Nate not recognizing Gemma and her calm, gentle way of reminding her father that she is indeed his daughter. is so genuine that I can't make fun of it. But in the midst of all of this heartbreak and separation, Gemma is clinging to her family--her father and by pre-paid phone Clay, Jax and Tara. If Gemma only knew that there was only a fleeting sense of family left to cling to back at home... Meanwhile, she's go the Guatemalan Hottie to contend with. I'm still thinking that she is a plant. Nate with dementia, house that is about to be sold, nursing home bed waiting... the trio smacks of Stahl's handiwork.

Second, SAMCRO is trying to track down Cameron Hayes and Abel while trying to seek some form of retribution for the drive-by. But in all the elaborate plot points that bring the Sons in the (unpaid) employ of the bounty hunter and the fucking fantastic mellon-in-the-sand scene to get information about the motivations of the Mayans, they basically are rendered impotent. Not wanting another "Bloody 1992," they let the president of the Calaveras go in an effort to persuade Alvarez not to kill them/encroach on their territory. They can't get good information about Cameron out of any of their regular channels and obviously Jimmy O isn't forthcoming.

Third, Jax and Tara. Where do I even begin? Jax was teasing Gemma in Oiled because she runs everything, much like her mother. However, Jax doesn't respond favorably when Tara takes matters into her own hands, living out the What Would Gemma Do principle. He's not a fan of the beat down she gave to the Hospital Bitchface (who, I like much more after seeing her integrity swing both ways) nor does he like the idea of Tara taking a leave of absence from St Rednecks. Is Tara changing too much for Jax? Does he have too many Oedipal issues to find Tara's adoption of the WWGD philosophy acceptable? Does he love Tara because she is separate from the MC? Who the hell knows. But it's clear that Tara knows that Jax is wavering and she isn't falling in line or buying his line of bullshit. Bravo, Tara.

Fourth, and finally, the intrigue that is happening on two fronts. The Mayans are encroaching on Charming, by way of patching over the Calaveras to fulfill their end of the deal they struck with Zobelle and LOAN. There might be serious implications for that for SAMCRO and Charming down the road. On the Irish front, there's a shit-ton of intrigue and subterfuge going on. Father Kellan Ashby has got to be one of the scariest priests I've ever seen and this is coming from a non-practicing Catholic. He's the intermediary between Jimmy O and the Council (let's hope we get some more insight into the Council in future episodes). Ashby carries out the sacraments and oversees the elimination of Cammie Hayes. Btw, how fucking horrific was that scene? I don't know if it was good acting or good makeup but Jaayysus, you could see veins in his face and shit. Anyways... there seem to be tensions between the old world and new world way of doing things, as evidenced by the tension between Ashby and Jimmy O. And there is the whole thing about pushing SAMCRO out that was mentioned but not elaborated on. And we have no idea how SAMBELL fits in with the council--perhaps through Maureen because of the SOA tattoo on her arm? It will be interesting to see how this plays out.

Odds and Ends

When is Gemma going to find out about Abel, goddamnit? How long can this go on?
So was Jax just charged with obstructing justice for attacking the guy at Half-Sack's wake? And not assault? Clay said that there were still assualt charges pending. Is that what he was referring to? Or was he talking about the season 2 raid on Zobelle's dinner of the faithful? Either my brain isn't working properly, there is a continuity/clarity issue, or Unser has some amazing pull to protect Jax from aggravated assault charges.
Precious was... well... not precious but decidedly awesome. I'd clock Bobby-Elivs too for telling me that the check's in the mail when I haven't received a dime in child support in 6 months.
Opie's moment of reticence in the porn shop was pure acting brilliance. (Perhaps he could have picked up some lube for Tig while he was in the store? Just a thought.) The sorority swing that Luanne directed is on the shelves and reminded Opie that Lyla's career of choice is banging other guys. On film.
Jacob Hale disdained Unser as Chief of Charming PD last season and wanted him gone. All of a sudden he wants to protect Charming and wants to keep the sheriff out? This seems suspect to me. I wonder if Jacob got his application in to LOAN before Zobelle fled the country. It would fit in well with the Mayans cutting and packaging heroin in Lodi, wouldn't it?
What reason would Jimmy O have for not divulging Abel's whereabouts?
I love the African American MC from Lodi.
There hasn't been enough Juice. Seriously.

Just like last week, the screen caps come courtesy of Bobby Elvis' Bake Sale so go over there and check out the treasure trove of pics from Sons of Anarchy episodes--especially if you like Chibs, Opie, or Kozik.

Naked (NSFW) pictures of Tig after the break.

What did you think of the episode? The comments section awaits...

Poor Kim Coates for being a good sport......

Eeeeeewwwwww

2010-09-15T07:26:00.000-07:00

I'll have the Sons of Anarchy episode recap done tonight. Until then, take a cue from Tig and lube up... because it's the humane thing to do.

Sons of Anarchy, Season 3, Episode 2 Oiled, Preview

2010-09-13T18:23:00.000-07:00

What do we have to look forward to tomorrow on Sons of Anarchy? Plenty, by the look of things.

Let's start with the official synopsis of Oiled from FX:

To get intel on Abel's whereabouts, Jax and the club help a bounty hunter track down a skip. They also press a source for answers about the attack at Half-Sack's wake--the MC way. Meanwhile, Gemma deals with her father's dementia.

The promotional pictures for Oiled show the boys of SAMCRO stern and pensive. You can check out more images from the episode over at Spoiler TV--there are lots of Jax, Chibs and Clay. It looks like there will be at least one conversation in church. It appears that the Clay's tutelage of Jax continues.

So I imagine we'll get plenty of SAMCRO taking care of business in this episode. There's a lot of things going on that they need to avenge, namely Abel's kidnapping, the drive-by at Half-Sack's wake, and Stahl's set up of Gemma. My guess is that we'll get a plenty of the first two and Stahl will be put on hold for the time being. From the preview video, it looks like we'll get the some scenes with the Mayans. Is the head in the sand related to the Mayans or Abel? I don't know but I'm almost embarrassed at how excited I am to see how that scene plays out. The clip makes me even more suspect about Amelia, the caregiver residing with Gemma's pops. She's up to something.

Another look at the clip reveals that SAMCRO is going to deal with the porn business. Paging Ima. I wonder if this could be the despicable, deliberate thing that Kurt Sutter was referring to in the pre-show live chat last week. I don't know about ya'll but it would almost be worth having Jax and Ima hook up to see how Tara would set the bitch straight.

Do you think Gemma will find out about Abel during Oiled? Will we see more of the characters that inhabit the SAMBEL universe? Your guess is as good as mine. A closing thought about the meaning of the title. Gears get oiled and so do guns. And so do the ta-tas of porn stars. What do you all think the title might refer to? The comments section awaits...

Recap: Sons of Anarchy, Episode 3.01, SO

2010-09-08T21:47:00.000-07:00

Well, I certainly didn't see that coming. Sweet baby Abel, I've been trying to wrap my brain around the closing scene of the premiere of Sons of Anarchy all day long. Let's put a pin in that for a hot minute. I'll start my recap of Sons of Anarchy, Episode 3.01, entitled SO, just as soon as I'm done clipping my acrylic nails over an old newspaper.

Needless to say, there are spoilers abound...

Sons of Anarchy often deals with the consequences of the choices that its characters make and SO was no exception to that overarching theme. In the season premiere, we saw the consequences play themselves out in terms of the loneliness of our favorite characters, the disarray of SAMCRO after The Kid was abducted, and the violence the Sons family was subjected to during the drive-by.

Photo Courtesy of Bobby Elvis' Bake Sale

First, loneliness and isolation separated Jax, Tara, Gemma from each other and the club--both physically and emotionally. Hell, even Piney was lonely--he misses John Teller. Like a lot ya'll. Jax is in isolation in The Kid's nursery, cut off from Tara, his mother, and the MC. I nearly cried when Opie pried him off the floor (no really, it was as if Jax's ass had grown roots into the carpet) and carried him to the shower. The new Jax is limp and helpless ~~until after the funeral~~. And isn't amazing how physically separate Jax is in this episode? He's on the dock by himself, crouching in the dirt by himself, and riding by himself. I think the only time we've seen Jax this alone is when he was spending quality time with Dead Daddy Teller's Burnt Book of Biker Wisdom.

Meanwhile, rather than be consumed by her loneliness, Tara acts by awesomely trashing the joint in a fit of rage and tells ATF Bitchface that "I don't need a boy to handle my shit" (talk about living the WWGD principle). Completely motivated by the fear of losing Jax and her very serious life in Charming, Tara tells the Prince of Charming, "We don't know who we are until we're connected to someone else. We're just better human beings when we're with the person we're supposed to be with. I wasn't supposed to leave. I belong here." How's that for some heavy shit? And was it just me or was there some lingering doubt in Jax's eyes?

Meanwhile, meanwhile, what does Gemma do to escape her isolation in the sticks while being on the lam? She nearly cuts a guy's dick off while trying to steal his car... which she needed reading glasses to hot wire, of course. I mean what else would Gemma do? She's the valet, shit-head! To add insult to injury, she declares it's just a flesh wound. Paging the Black Knight.

Second, SAMCRO is in disarray at the start of the episode. While the guys swarm Jax when they get a lead on Cameron Hayes, there is a certain awkwardness to their presence in the house. They ride funny and they seem undecided at the dock. Is it the situation? Is it seeing Jax completely undone? I don't know. But the only one who knows how to handle the situation is Clay and the value of his leadership (however flawed) becomes immediately apparent. He plays the outsider card and lays blame on Agent Bitchface for the death of Half-Sack, The Kid's abduction, and Gemma's run from the law. Clay reassures Tara. (WTF? I don't even know? Who is this Clay Morrow and what have you done with King Clueless? I love this Clay. LOVE HIM). Even better, he tells Stahl:

Anything happens to my grandson. Anything. And I promise you that I'm going to shove a gun barrell up that bony ass of yours and I'm going to blow that black heart out.

Clay pulled shit together most effectively when he told Jax to man up. Act now. You're going to find the kid. Make the hard decision to do something, regardless of The Kid's fate. Which leads me to...

Third, the violence. And there was so much of it. I'm so sad to see Hale go. He really grew on me as a character and provided an interesting ethical dynamic for SAMCRO in Charming. I'm just going to trust Kurt Sutter that Hale's death will mean something, contribute to the forward momentum of the story. So in quick succession, Hale is killed while trying to stop the perpetrators of the drive-by after Half-Sack's funeral, Jax bashes in the skull of one of the shooters, and a kid is shot. The only sense I can make of it is this: no one is Charming is immune to the consequences of SAMCRO's outlaw choices. My working theory on who is responsible for the drive-by? The Mayans. They're going to want recompense for the highway showdown during the season 2 finale.

Funny things, loose ends, and some questions:

Chuckie lives another day to serve Bobby-Elivs' banana bread and coffee at the clubhouse!
Damn, those boys can actually ride motorcycles. Loved the chase scene.
Fantastic close-up of John Teller's mug shot. Way to build in the mythology in a subtle way.
Clay (to the forger): Thanks Mr. Magoo
Tara and Jax mention what they did to Kohn. Twice. This has got to be foreshadowing. I wonder if finding Kohn's body is a way for Stahl to get her groove back?
Charming votes Republican, just ask Hale's brother. BTW, did you catch those teeth? I guess I'm going to have to learn his name now. Or can I just call him Snaggle Tooth for the rest of the season?
Unser calls Gemma "our girl" when he's talking to Clay.
Tig to caregiver: "My name is Tiggy." Uh... Tiggy?
Speaking of Tig... What's up with Kozik's desire to come back to Charming?
The super-top-secret code name for Gemma is "Love"
What does Gemma read in the newspaper that makes her want to go home? I smell a rat....
Cameron's old boat is named Dithreabhag which I think, loosely translated, means "He was here." Either that or it's something about double penetration. No, really.
The hospital administrator is still lurking. Look out, Tara.
Half-Sack got patched in posthumously AND gets the SAMCRO coffin, which is always the tasteful choice for your internment needs.
The song playing during the opening montage of Sons of Anarchy SO is No Milk Today by Joshua James and The Forrest Rangers
The song playing the at the end of SO is Dad's Gonna Kill Me by Richard Thompson
Jax leaves his SO ring on John Teller's grave while keeping the NS ring for himself. Did you know that the season 3 finale is titled NS? Get it SO (1) - NS (13)? Either Jax will be wearing both those rings at the end of the season or he'll wear neither of them.
Jax. Naked. Shower. Again. But this time shot from above. I know you dirty bitches are out there trying to find screen cap of it for the spank bank. So here you go.... Your picture of Jax naked in the shower. Sigh... this just makes me feel dirty

Photo Courtesy of Bobby Elvis' Bake Sale

What do ya'll think? I'm looking forward to seeing more of the supporting cast in the next episode. What did I miss? The comments section awaits....

All of the screen caps in this post are from Bobby Elivs' Bake Sale, a great site run by @amonmich. Go check out her excellent SOA caps and follow her on twitter while you're at it.

Holy Shit! Where is the Recap?

2010-09-08T07:34:00.000-07:00

Thank God. It's time to recap Sons of Anarchy again. I should have it done no later than Thursday. I can't stay up all night and recap this season because I have responsibilities and shit. (Read that as: I have to get up at an unholy hour on Wednesday mornings to go teach a bunch of students.) But I have started. See....

Yes, I did write "LOVE CLAY" down there on the bottom of the right page. Whoooooeeeeeee. We're in for a great season, kids.

On the Last Day of Bikermas the Internet Gave to Me....

2010-09-06T15:33:00.000-07:00

28 hours. That's all the waiting that we have left. I swear this is better than Christmas Eve--feeling anxious and giddy yet? I certainly am. In fact between now and tomorrow night, I might even jump on the couch a little bit. Won't you? I mean, when you hear the theme song playing and the opening credits roll? You're going to squee just a little bit, aren't you? No? Well, then I just embarrassed the shit out of myself. Anyways, here's the news round up leading up to tomorrow's premiere of Sons of Anarchy.

The best deaths on Sons of Anarchy so far.
Fancast's interview with Kurt Sutter on the challenges of Season 3 of Sons of Anarchy.
The argument for watching Sons of Anarchy. Although if you are reading this blog, you no doubt already watch the show. I just liked the article but be warned, it's long so make sure you go to the bathroom first.
The LA Times has a great rundown of the new characters we'll see this season.
Collider's review of the premiere of Sons of Anarchy is favorable and it has a few juicy details that some spoiler wussies might find objectionable. They've also got a great interview with Katey Sagal and Charlie Hunnam up, so check it out.
Alan Sepinwall's review of the premiere that is virtually spoiler neutral.
The New York Times review discusses the fear and violence in Charming.
The Jacksonville Examiner has a good spoiler-free review of the premiere of Sons of Anarchy and provides some insights into how the different chapters of SAMCRO might (or might not) work together.

That's all I've got for now. There's likely to be one more post before air time tomorrow. Yes, it's the Jax questionnaire. I need to get a glass of wine in me and fine tune the funny on it.

On the Fourth Day of Bikermas

2010-09-03T14:34:00.000-07:00

Only four more days until SOA. Can you even believe it? It's so close. Let's get down to business, because there was a shit-ton of news today. First off, there was a new clip from the first episode of season 3 of Sons of Anarchy entitled, SO. It doesn't really reveal a lot--other than Jax being sullen around the guys.

The rest of the news in a hail of bullets:

Mediaweek has a great video preview of the season with a fantastic Piney moment.
Maggie Siff on the state of Tara and Jax's relationship for Season 3 of Sons of Anarchy.
The LA Times has a great profile of Kurt Sutter. Sutter discusses Jax's character and how personal experience influences the show--including the doll phobia. There's a minor spoiler about the profession of Stephen King's character so consider yourself warned.
Another LA Times interview with cast members Charlie Hunnam, Ryan Hurst, Kim Coates, Dayton Callie, Mark Boone Junior, and Theo Rossi. It's a great profile of the actors and how they've incorporated their motorcycles into their craft. The video is probably the best 5 minutes you'll spend online all day.
Flickcast has an interview with Ron Perlman. Seems as if they've banked some interviews from Comic-Con.
A small newspaper in Texas has a vague, non-spoilery preview of the premiere with a few hints as to what to expect.
Photos of Tommy Flanagan and Ron Perlman at the SOA premiere. They're buried in there so just advance to photo numbers 32 and 33. Ya'll, do we need to discuss Tommy's hair? there's a certain Mickey Rourke thing going on there. I just don't even know.

6 Days Until SOA - The Reviews Are Coming, The Reviews Are Coming

2010-09-01T16:41:00.000-07:00

Holy fucking shit! Two posts in two days! And there are only 6 more days until Sons of Anarchy. I swear, this is better than Christmas. Or waiting for a box of new shoes from Zappos--and I really like shoes. A note on spoilers: I won't put any spoilers in the body of blog posts. They'll either be under a cut with a warning or if I link to something spoilery in the body of a post, I'll be sure mention it so you won't be exposed to something without being aware of what you're clicking on. Uh huh huh huh huh. I said exposed. So here are the reviews:

US Weekly rehashes the synopsis and says the premiere will end with a stunner. Yeah right, because Sons of Anarchy never has stunning endings.
Ken Tucker's review in Entertainment Weekly gives a vague, non-spoilery review of the first four episodes without really revealing much. You know, other than Tucker's concerns that SOA feels like it may be trying to do too many things.

And there are a few interviews to catch up on

TV Squad interviews the cast, including Charlie Hunnam, Maggie Siff, Katey Sagal, and Ron Perlman. Hunnam and Sagal discuss Gemma's history and tensions between Jax and Gemma. They talk about new characters, including Paula Malcolmson
Flickcast interviews Katey Sagal about Futurama and Sons of Anarchy and they posted an interview with Kurt Sutter yesterday.

That's all I've got for now. Enjoy!

7 Days Until Sons of Anarchy

2010-08-31T15:17:00.000-07:00

Let's pause for a minute and savor this last week. One week from tonight, we'll all be huddled on the sofa watching a brand-spanking new episode of Sons of Anarchy. Enjoy this moment. Savor it. On December 7th we'll all be heartbroken that our beloved Sons won't be back for another 36 weeks. No really. That's how long it is.

I have a feeling that the Sons of Anarchy news is going to be coming fast and furious in the next week so I'm going to try and post links and news bits daily ~~so I don't get buried by it all~~.

Alan Sepinwall's interview with Kurt Sutter before Season 3 begins. Interesting stuff on the writers painting themselves in the corner with Gemma at the end of S2 and the unexpected sexual tension between Gemma and Stahl. If you missed Sepinwall's article on the SOA panel at Comic-Con, you can catch up here.
Cast interviews from MovieWeb in which Kim Coates says that Tig gets his mojo back this season. I'm a little afraid to see what that looks like. Farmers, hide your livestock.
Monsters and Critics has a new interview with Katey Sagal where she discusses Gemma and Tara's relationship, among many other things.
Go check out FX's SOA page. They've updated it for Season 3 including some hot-tastic production stills in the photo galleries. I'm not sure about Opie's hair. It looks like he borrowed my flat iron. I can't believe I'm going to say this but if that's what his hair looks like, I hope he puts that hat back on.
Finally, here are some pics from the Sons of Anarchy premier screening last night (thanks to @ThatMuggleCass for the link). Try not to stab your computer screen when the picture of the actor who plays Cameron comes up.
ETA: Some comments from the cast about the upcoming season from the press line at last night's premiere.

The Questionnaire: Clay Morrow

2010-08-25T19:54:00.000-07:00

Remember way back when I did the Sons of Anarchy characters meet the Inside the Actors Studio Questionnaire? Yeah, it's been a while. Anyways, you can catch up on Gemma, Tara, Tig, Bobby-Elvis, Chibs, Juice, Opie, Piney, Chucky, Happy, Unser, Hale, Stahl and the rest of the crew here.

Next up? Clay Morrow, President of The Redwood Original Chapter of The Sons of Anarchy, and one of the First Nine.

What is your favorite word?

Leadership

What is your least favorite word?

It's a phrase. In retrospect...

What turns you on?

Gemma, of course. Not unlike every other man in Charming but I'm the guy that gets to get dirty with her in the photo booth at the carnival have her visit me for a little afternoon delight in the clubhouse.

What turns you off?

Jax's petulant emo bullshit moods swings.

What sound or noise do you love?

The crackling of tobacco in a cigar as I light it.

What sound or noise do you hate?

The silence of dissension in the SAMCRO ranks is tied with the creaks of arthritic knuckles.

What is your favorite curse word?

Shit. Bastard. Goddamnit. Take your pick.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

CEO of a Fortune 500 company

What profession would you not like to do?

Any job where I have to take orders from someone else. Especially if that someone doesn't know what the hell he's doing.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when arrive at the Pearly Gates?

On balance, you did what you thought was right. Come on in, John, Wally, Uncle Tom, Chico, Louis, and L'ill Killer Otto are waiting for you.

This leaves Jax as the last character slated for the Questionnaire before the start of Season 3. I may revisit the series with any new characters in the down time between Season 3 and Season 4. And it seems like there are going to be plenty.

Sons of Anarchy - New Season Preview Videos

2010-08-25T18:00:00.000-07:00

Our benevolent crank dealers over at FX released 2 new clips promoting Season 3 of Sons of Anarchy. You should visit the official FX/Sons of Anarchy You Tube channel and check out the other videos including Theo Rossi being very cute -- so cute that I want to pet his faux-hawk. The clips could be spoilery to the sensitive types in our midst so I'll put them after the jump. But I'll tell you this, just like Tara, I don't need a boy to handle my shit.

Charming

Season Preview

Looking forward to the season premier of Sons of Anarchy

2010-08-23T20:00:00.000-07:00

In preparation for Season 3 of Sons of Anarchy, here's my round up of the loose ends remaining following Season 2's finale Na Triobloidi. A note on spoilers: I'm aware that some of these questions have been answered in the spoilers that have leaked but I'm not going to address them here largely because I'm trying to push them out of my own mind in preparation for the season premier. I'm leaving out the Able plot point because, duh obviously it is THE overarching loose end that is left over from S2. The list of all the other loose ends follows in a hail of bullets:

The outstanding gun charges that landed SAMCRO in the county clink after the raid on Zobelle's family dinner. The guys may be out of jail, but the charges haven't been dismissed. Yet.
ATF Bitchface pinned Cameron's murder (wrongfully) on Gemma. How does the beautiful queen of bikers manipulate her way out of Cameron AND Polly's murders?
Agent Kohn still hasn't turned up. Yet.
Opie's resolution to stay in SAMCRO after he learned that Clay and Tig killed Donna. He stayed in with a desire to change the things along with Jax. Some of that is likely to stay in the background while the guys are in hot pursuit of Able but it's possible that Opie will have some residual trust issues with Tig and Clay.
Opie handed over his clip when he confronted ATF Bitchface when he told her in the most brilliant, painful way that "the outlaw had mercy." What's she going to do with that clip? I don't put it past her to use it against Opie in the future.
Surely the Mayans are going to seek recompense after that little highway showdown to intercept Zobelle. How does this play out?
How does SAMCRO make things right with Jimmy O and the IRA when they find out that Chibs threw Cameron and Edmund under the ATF bus?
Is it possible for Chief Unser to retire with any sense of dignity?
Luanne's murder. Who was responsible? My money's on Georgie Caruso but I'm open to convincing suggestions. Related: will SAMCRO stay in the porn business?
Did Darby survive the fire? And if he survived the fire, where the hell has he been hiding?
Just how many life sentences does Big Otto have on his plate now?
Will Cliffy and Duke survive the foster care system with their father's "values" intact?

What did I leave out? The comments section awaits....

In which I attempt to be the ball.

2010-08-17T18:15:00.000-07:00

This post is one of my irregular ramblings that isn't television related. Anxiety, excitement, and my trials and tribulations in academia after the jump if anyone is interested.

I've been sharpening my Hello Kitty pencils (which I purposely use because no one in their right mind would ever steal one), cleaning up my hard drive, memorizing my non-existent schedule, and trying to get back to a regular sleeping schedule in preparation for the upcoming fall semester. Screw January for new beginnings, the nerd in me has always loved back-to-school season. New clothes, new notebooks, new friends, new possibilities. I love it all, hence the excitement. I've even ordered my own Gemma-inspired jacket to ring in the new year. Cool, yes? Double the excitement: at the most, this is going to be my last academic year as a student. Ever. I'll graduate in December or May and if I don't, my family will disown me. This is where the anxiety comes in.

I'm teaching two sections of Introduction to American Politics this semester. It's the first time I've taught on my own and frankly, I'm terrified. The course prep is going to be a shit-ton of work and I am okay with that. What I'm apprehensive about is this: I've safely been working on a grant and away from the unwashed masses of undergraduates for 2 years. A LOT has changed politically since then. I live in a barely purple state and will be teaching at a fairly conservative university. In short: I'm not real sure how to deal with potential students who are Tea Party enthusiasts. Suggestions welcome.

The second part of my anxiety revolves around finishing my dissertation. Things are moving along, everyone is happy with my progress, it's "interesting work," and so on. I just keep waiting for a sucker punch. Someone on my committee will have a problem with the statistics, the theory, whatever. I just have a feeling that it is going to happen eventually so I'm trying to gird my loins for it.

And finally, after a summer away I'm about to re-enter what is very much a man's world. Well, a correction: it's academia so it's a boy's world. A dirty boy's world and I have to resume my queen bitch position. After a summer of easy-breezy days at the beach, it's going to take a bit of an adjustment and 4 inch heels which I wear specifically to intimidate the boy-men.

Until then, I'm just going to focus on being the ball.......

Sons of Anarchy Season 3: The Jax and Tara Trailer

2010-08-17T17:54:00.000-07:00

Many thanks to @OliviaRoy and @kat_brown for the early heads-up on this. The Jax and Tara trailer for season three of Sons of Anarchy has hit the interwebs. What do ya'll think? I suspect there is some creative editing at play and/or selective disclosure on the future of Jax and Tara. (Side note: we need a nickname for them. Jara? Taxa? Tarjaxa? Jar-Jar?) It really looks like Jax is telling Tara to GTFO but looks could be deceiving. With all of that being said, it might be a rough few early episodes for the Tarjaxa-shippers among us.

Sons of Anarchy Season 3 Cast Pictures

2010-08-10T19:20:00.000-07:00

For our obsession/ogling/enjoyment. All the others, including a very hot Opie with long Jax-like hair, are after the jump!

Clearing the Decks

2010-08-10T19:10:00.000-07:00

A quick round up and catch up on the Sons of Anarchy news from the last few weeks.....

The Sons of Anarchy panel at Comic-Con was a success and in spite of it being short on information, we did learn that there will be three (3!) new prospects. Video clips of the panel is available in three parts: a One, a Two, and a Three. Sons-of-Anarchy.net has assembled some pretty great photos from Comic-Con so go check those out. Speaking of photos, how's this candid from Show Patrol's coverage of Comic-Con for charming (pun intended)?

Also, there were great interviews with Charlie Hunnam, Katey Sagal, Ron Perlman, and Kurt Sutter that are worth a look-see if you haven't watched them yet.

The FX panel at the Television Critics Association convention/meeting/whatever invoked the term unshaven hero to describe the characters and narrative arcs in Sons of Anarchy. Wondering what is going to drive Season 3? Sweet Baby Able, it's about Able! For a great round up on cast quotes from the TCA even, including Maggie Siff's fantastic musings on Tara's loneliness, click here.

A few newsy loose ends...

Photos from the appearances by Katey Sagal and Charlie Hunnam at Outlaw Jam.
@Culvercat's Twitpic photostream of on-set pictures is awesome.
Uh, a Cloris Leachman appearance on SOA? I vote for T.I. instead.
A first look of Stephen King on the SOA set.
The Big Bad this season is Jimmy O. Duh. (Sidenote: That has got to be one of the most oddly written interviews/profiles of Kurt Sutter ever. I think that reporter needs to have her BFA in creative writing revoked. If anyone from the FX PR shop is reading this, my dream interview for Kurt Sutter would be with Terry Gross on Fresh Air so MAKE IT HAPPEN ALREADY).
Uh, the net result of Season 3 is to press the reset button for Season 4. I'm not real sure what to make of that but it kinda makes my stomach hurt.

Yeah, so True Blood....

2010-08-08T21:37:00.000-07:00

I've been short on time so the True Blood Recaps have fallen by the wayside. I mean, sweet Baby Able, I'm still not caught up on the Sons of Anarchy stuff from Comic-Con and the SOA news is only going to be coming more quickly as season three approaches. Plus there is the WWGD T-shirt to address. So, the True Blood recaps are on permanent hiatus until I can carve out some more time. And when I say permanent, I mean Talbot permanent....

Image from Sookie is Mine!

Sons of Anarchy, Season 3: Another promo

2010-07-30T12:44:00.000-07:00

There's another promo for Season 3 of Sons of Anarchy set to The Crystal Method remix of Roadhouse Blues. It's intense. I love the little details like the jingling of Tara's earrings.

Sons of Anarchy - Season 3 Promo Analysis

2010-07-28T22:32:00.000-07:00

I've given the Sons of Anarchy Season 3 promo a few more viewings and have some semi-coherent thoughts about it, let me share them with you all three of my dear readers. Here's an HQ copy of it for you re-viewing pleasure. Analysis follows after the jump.

First, the centerpiece of the promo is the dialogue between Clay and Jax:

Clay: We represent the past, present, and future of this club. These men behind us, they respect you and they understand your grief but they're also wondering what you're going to do with it. You gotta make the hard choice, son.

Jax: And what choice would that be?

Choices indeed. My guess is that Clay is counseling Jax on how to react to Able's abduction from a club perspective. We see Jax sulking shirtless on the floor and getting peeled off said floor by Opie and Chibs. Graveside sulking and nekkid shower sulking also ensue. (Side note: Not that I'm complaining but the Jax shower scenes are becoming a bit routine--a trope if you will. A friend of mine coined the regular showing of Jax's backside as Jaxass) That's Jax's reaction as a father. Not as a MC Vice President. I'm thinking that Clay is encouraging Jax to take action because he needs it, because the club needs a leader, and getting revenge serves the club and the family. Also notice that as promised/forewarned things are all nicey nicey again with Clay and Jax. At least for now.

Second, things aren't looking so hot for Jax and Tara but I suspect there is some editing trickery afoot. The dialogue is The Prince of Charming telling Tara in Able's room that:

You gotta get out of here

This has to be the end.

There is some kissy-face but Tara trashing the nursery as well. My guess is that there will be some reconciliation if/when Able is retrieved because Jax needs a nighttime nanny and a warm bed. However, like most things in the SAMCRO universe, it wouldn't be an uncomplicated reunion.

Third, Gemma. Oh, girl, how I've missed you! Gemma beats the shit out of a blindfolded woman in a nightgown. Gemma and Clay are reunited and it feels so good. Gemma's in disguise in a drab olive cap that isn't fooling anyone. She tells Tig that "I'm going whether you like it or not." Going? Going where? Is this why she needs to start a car with a pocket knife? To Belfast perhaps. Or perhaps on the raid where we see Happy, Opie, and Jax chase some dude through a house... which leads me to....

Fourth, all of the major action in the promo appears to revolve around a drive-by shooting (carried out by persons unknown) that seems to occur at a funeral home. The Bolton Hall Museum is the stand-in for the funeral home. Anywho... The best that I can surmise is that there is a drive-by at Half-Sack's funeral, somehow SAMCRO gets a bead on who is responsible and raids the joint. Raiding/pillaging/revenge scenes occur in a house with a disturbing number of framed cat pictures and jars of chemicals. Piney, Happy, and Bobby-Elvis open fire on some bearded long-haired dude in a flannel. This is the same dude who asks Piney, "Why the hell are you doing this?" And Piney, bless his heart, gets the best line when he retorts "Because we're the good guys." It appears that this is the same place where Piney and Clay have words while Bobby-Elvis looks on with concern. And, at least in my multiple sad fangirl viewings, it seems that the dude being chased by Happy, Opie, and Jax is the same unfortunate chap who is buried up to his mellon in the desert. WHICH IS FUCKING BRILLIANT AND SICK.

Nuts and Bolts:

Where the fuck is Juice? For that matter, where the fuck is Tig? Juice is missing from the entire promo--aside from black and white cut-in shots-- and Tig is only present in the scene with Gemma. Anyone care to guess where they are?
Possibly related: in the opening sequence of SAMCRO riding out en masse from Teller-Morrow Automotive, the guys are not in their usual formation. Clay is still riding point, but instead of Jax being behind and to Clay's left, BobbyElvis is there in the VP spot. And instead of Tig being in his Sergeant-at-Arms spot behind and to the right of Clay, Opie is there. Jax is missing. Tig is further back in the pack. It could mean something or it could mean nothing.
Happy appears to be wearing a Redwood Original patch on the front of his cut. Nomad no more?
Opie appears to have gotten a new hat AND a haircut. He's going to need it to rescue Lyla from the blowjob-a-thon that seems to be getting underway.
Jax and Opie appear to be hanging at a dock, don't they?
There's a car chase through Charming. Vintage black sedan but I don't think it's Tara's.
Jax chases some guy into the oncoming path of Lyla's Prius. Huh?

That is an embarrassingly long recap for a mere 60 seconds of footage. Dear God, is it September 7th yet? Also: Season 3 is apparently going to set the reset button for Season 4. Sweet Baby Able, I can't even think about that because it nearly sends me into a fangirl panic. Also-also: Yes, I have the WWGD t-shirt. There's more to come on that. Also-also-also: Yes, I'm going to finish the questionnaires. I promise.

Sons of Anarchy - Season 3 Promo

2010-07-26T21:07:00.000-07:00

Here it is! The Sons of Anarchy Season 3 promo that is airing on FX. More to come on what it entails yeah, I'm a loser who will do a frame-by-frame analysis but in the meantime, enjoy!

True Blood Recap, 3.05 Trouble

2010-07-19T20:07:00.000-07:00

Here comes my recap of all things Good, Bad, and Ugly from True Blood, Trouble, just as soon as I'm back from dinner at the Shoney's in Vicksburg with Franklin Mott... errr..... scratch that. Just as soon as I'm done discussing Japanese vampire erotica from the 16th Century with Eric. (Photo from Sookie is Mine!)

The Good

Lafayette and Jesus courting: the writers and the actors really hit their respective marks in conveying the terribly sweet self-consciousness of the time before a first date and first kiss. And don't you know our boy Lafayette deserves the love too?
Jessica glamouring customers so Arlene doesn't get any tips. Side note: the chemistry between Jessica and Tommy might be his one saving grace.
Eric as a viking! But what would you bet that the crown Eric saw amongst the accumulated tchotchkes of Russell's pillaging was there on purpose?
The trap that Russell Edgington set for Bill. Or should I say his experiment to see if the confrontation could evoke Sookie's magic fingers?
The whole Russell-Bill-Eric triangle of mutual treachery and scheming. None of these guys trust each other, they all have ulterior motives and it is FANTASTIC!
Everything about Franklin Mott. Everything. Calling Talbot the cleaning lady, the vampire texting motherfucker, the aforementioned dinner at Shoney's, taking out a church group at the slots in Biloxi because they wouldn't let him have a chance, needing a financial trust, and any time having "a talk" results in him waking up from a blackout with body parts around him. I love everything about him because he is fucking nuts and James Frain plays him with such zeal. It's too bad it comes at a high price for Tara (more on that in the Ugly section).
Crystal doesn't have a telephone or a bra but at least she is smarter than Jason. Let's just hope that Jason gets a piece so he can stop with the wanna-be sheriff shenanigans. Ryan Kwanten was pretty endearing as Jason. I just wish the he had better material.
Jeebus! I think we got our first "Suuuuukkeeeehhh" of the season and this was the 5th episode.

The Bad

Sookie and Alcide's chemistry. I'm just not feeling it.
Ha-ha. Jason with ink on his face and paperclip limbo. I get it. He is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I got it in Season 1. Make his character do or be something interesting, otherwise why waste precious time repeating old tropes? Also: Jason and Andy are bo-ring.
Colonel Flood is a scardey cat dog.
Kenya, Kevin and red mulch? Have I ever told you that I my "No Wire Hangers" equivalent is red mulch?
Lorena strolling in with the stripper's glittery bra in hand.
I just don't give a shit about Sam or his long lost redneck white trashy family. But at least Joe Lee is WEARING PANTS CONSISTENTLY.

The Ugly

Tara. Tara. Tara. Let me preface this with saying that I think Rutina Wesley does an amazing job with what she is given. But let's face it, the writers keep handing her huge piles of shit every episode. What in the holy hell happened to Season 1 Tara? You know, the smart fiery girl who was Sookie's BFF and didn't take shit from anyone? Her character been twisted AGAIN to be some pawn at the whim of what ever supernatural special guest star creature that happens to be cast introduced each season. The writers have stripped a female character of any semblance of agency she had left. Having the character who complained about being named after a plantation actually run across a plantation trying to escape while being chased by dogs wolves is beyond reproach.
Spoiler alert for people who haven't read the books. I'm about to reveal some serious plot points from the books. I am so over the whole "True Blood is done in the spirit of the books" line of bullshit. For me, there are certain things that need to happen and one of them is NOT the softer, gentler let down of Bill. In the books Bill might have been kidnapped and tortured, but he also did some pretty despicable things -- yeah, I'm talking about the trunk scene. Yes, Sookie needs to rescue Bill but she also needs to unequivocally reject him. And Sookie needs to stake Lorena. Seriously -- I need the "I killed her ass" moment. This is the only way to open up the door for Sookie's character to grow. With Eric. I swear, hand to God, if there is one more fakey-fakey dream scene of the two of them making out, you will hear my screams of frustration. And if there is some Sookie and Bill reconciliation at the end of this season, I might just have to break up with this show completely. Maybe.

Sons of Anarchy - We have an air date!

2010-07-16T08:25:00.000-07:00

Alert! Alert! Sons of Anarchy is set to premier on Tuesday, September 7th at 10 p.m. Just like I predicted waaaaaay back in March. So make sure you still have a season pass on your DVR, hire a babysitter, and tell your boss that you need to take the night off. Do It. Now. Also: FX is sponsoring a Sons of Anarchy sweepstakes to send 7 lucky fans out to LA to a private showing of the premier, webcast with Kurt Sutter, and a bit of pocket change.

The Sons of Anarchy panel at Comic-Con is coming up on Sunday, July 25th at 2:45 --with appearances by Kurt Sutter, Katey Sagal, Ron Perlman, and Charlie Hunnam. Is anyone going to Comic-Con? I'd be interested to hear about the experience from the perspective of an SOA fan. You know, rather than the perspective an Avengers fanboy.

The Sons of Anarchy Emmy snub happened. In full effect. Sons of Anarchy got a big fat goose egg by way of nominations. I've kind of held off on blogging about it because, frankly there were enough people expressing outrage about the omission that it was overwhelming. But to round things up: Michael Ausiello pointed out that Katey Sagal was screwed, the LA Times paid notice to the snub, Mo Ryan was astounded, and The Boob Tube Dude noticed the slight as well, BuddyTV listed it as #1 on its top 10 of Emmy snubs, and TV By The Numbers has the HOLY FUCKING SHIT reaction without actually saying the words.

And then there was the so-called media's reaction to the SOA snub--particularly Kurt Sutter's blog post. My dear three readers, the media reacted in the most irritating, sub-human, salivating-to-create-controversy-so-it-becomes-a-story sort of way. (I'm not linking to any of that because I don't want to give those bastards the page hits). In my opinion, Kurt Sutter's initial reaction was not some angry screed, it was just an assessment of the situation as he saw it. Sons of Anarchy is an outsider show and that's how they like it, creatively speaking.

My take on the media debacle is that anything other than gracious losing must translate to FUCK THE HOLLYWOOD ESTABLISHMENT MOTHERFUCKERS in some entertainment media code speak. Sort of like a dog whistle. Either that or everyone in Hollywood loves the shit out of Mariska Hargitay who must be Mother Theresa or something. But then, the "media" had the same irrational reaction when Kurt Sutter published a clarifying blog post. And I swear, hand to God, I was thisclose to pulling one of these:

Just without the eyeliner. And the tears. And the screaming.

There was a great interview with Kurt Sutter with insights into Season 3 and some great new set pic by Monsters and Critics that is worth a look-see. Finally, there were a couple of spoilers that came out about the Belfast story line. I'm going to put these after the jump because frankly, they are very spoilery and I had mixed feelings about them after I'd read them. Ah, the things I do for the blog.

More about Gemma being on the lam.
Casting call for body doubles for SOA characters in Belfast.

True Blood Recap, 3.04 9 Crimes

2010-07-12T19:34:00.000-07:00

This week's The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly recap of True Blood, 9 Crimes just as soon as I'm done grilling hot dogs in the parking lot at Merlotte's. Overall, it was a good episode and it is nice to see some semblance of a cohesive story coming together. And the bright red thread tying most of the disparate story lines together is V.

The Good

Oh, Sookie, you dirty little hooka -- and I mean that as a compliment. Sookie nearly jumps Alcide to the point where he feels uncomfortable and goes to put a shirt on. Damnit. And the near-jumping happens immediately after Bill breaks up with the Sookster over the phone -- the shock! the horror! Can you imagine if he dumped her by text? She would've fucked Alcide straight away. But Sookie was at her endearing, earnest, fierce, naive best in the episode -- from being convinced that Bill needs to break up with her in person, to knocking back shots in the bad girl leathers, to confronting Debbie Pelt. She might be downright fucking annoying sometimes, but she is never insincere and 9 Crimes put all of that front and center.
Bill's seemingly complete turn to the dark vampy side. Is he doing it to protect Sookie? Is he doing it because it's his nature and he can't resist any more? Or to save his own skin? Or is there some bigger diabolical plan in place? Who the hell knows, but Bill's simmering constipation anger from Seasons 1 and 2 finally have some context and it makes him a much more interesting character. And hotter! Sweet Jeebus, give that man long sleeved black t shirts for the rest of the show. Maybe it's because I just finished "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" but I can't help thinking that there are going to be some long-term consequences that Bill isn't considering at the moment. Like letting it get out that he was sent to procure a certain waitress from Bon Temps.
Eric, Lafayette, Pam, and the V trade. Possibly one of the best moments in the episode was Eric flying in to back Lafayette up and close the deal out in Hot Shot. The "Let's go, Ru Paul," line was funny but it led to a bit of brilliance with Eric tutoring Lafayette in how to make friends and influence lower level drug pushers. Obviously Bill's little bit of intel about the Queen making Eric sell V went directly from Russell to the Magister. Eric and Pam's quick thinking to cover their asses with the Queen, set up Bill and buy time was still more brilliance -- and consistent with their relationship. Speaking of The Magister, how is he for a frightening villain and and indication of things to come later in the season? Not too shabby. Kind of makes Maryanne look like child's play.
Lorena's neck crack after the best sex she's had in decades!
Flying Eric FTW!

The Bad

Russell Edgington is the great Nazi-werewolf-vampire-master of yore! While this whole story line certainly isn't boring there are some cheese-heavy elements involved in this story line: the V in communion cups, religious music, and general white trash stereotypes are a bit heavy-handed.
Franklin Mott went from a short stack of sexy sinew to a fucking scary freak.
Jason thinking that he is smart enough to blackmail Andy into becoming a cop. Jesus, get this man a piece of ass before he goes any further. Seriously.
Eric's daydream about Sookie. Yes, it was hot. Incredibly hot. But I'm tired of seeing these two dream about getting it on. Something has to happen.
There wasn't nearly enough Jessica.
I'm warming to Sam's story line only because he was so compelling at describing his struggles as the motivation for helping Tommy. But, I'm also increasingly convinced that the Mickens are running a long con on Sam.
Alcide could've let that robe open up a little bit while he was cooking that steak for breakfast.

The Ugly

Tara duct-taped to a toilet. At least she struggles. That suggests some agency, I suppose. Or at least a desire not to get a raging case of hemorrhoids.
Debbie Pelt's hair and makeup. There's playing the white trash card and then there is playing the 1980's white trash card. Second runner up: Debbie Pelt's underwear clad crowd surfing. Third runner up: Coot licking Debbie's fresh brand. Gr-o-ss.
I'm getting tired of the Gomer Pile-esque, slack-jawed yokels of Bon Temps. Like the dude who gave Bud Dearborn his new dancing boots shoes. Or the football dude. I'm over it.

WWGD - The T-Shirt!

2010-07-06T22:10:00.000-07:00

So I was sitting here in my insomnia induced madness wondering What Would Gemma Do tonight? Gemma probably would have gone to bed and taken an Ambien an 90 minutes ago, you know because the beautiful queen of bikers needs her beauty sleep, ya'll. But if the WWGD code wasn't engrained in your psyche already, the FX shop is finally, finally selling its first piece of What Would Gemma Do merchandise. And it's about damn time because the feminist in me would rather have a root canal with no pain meds than wear a Property of SAMCRO t-shirt. So here she is:

Isn't she pretty? I love the tattoo-like detailing in the background. She is even my color, or at least the color I wear when I'm not in my black top and skinny jeans uniform. Go buy one. Now. In fact, buy two. (Perhaps FX will make more WWGD merchandise if there is enough demand and I know there are plenty of women who are Sons of Anarchy fans.) I've got a minor concern about how this shirt will look on someone with boobs -- where that top banner hits could be cute and flirty OR obscene. I'll only know for sure once I get it on.

Also: Brace yourselves, the Emmy nominations come out this week. If Katey Sagal isn't nominated...... well..... it won't be pretty. It makes me wonder, what would Gemma do if an entire fandom erupts in fury over another year of being overlooked?

True Blood Recap, 3.03 It Hurts Me Too

2010-06-29T18:06:00.000-07:00

Thank you, Alan Ball! Finally! I think that True Blood has finally hit its stride for Season 3. Aside from a few irritating plot lines I'm looking at you Tara, Jason, and Sam, this was by far the best episode this season. Anyways, here's my Good/Bad/Ugly recap of True Blood, 3.03 It Hurts Me Too, because it's like armageddon in here anytime someone chips a dessert glass.

The Good

Talbot and Russell: beneath their sophisticated, charming, urbane exterior exists a ruthless power couple. Sort of like Bill and Hillary.
Terry's joy that he is going to be a daddy and Arlene's dirty little secret. My money is on Rene/Drew as the baby daddy.
The human suffering/vampire desire dichotomy. Lorena is a bitch but at least she is a bitch who has a purpose and so do flashbacks. Or she is a bitch who gets hate fucked like there has never been a hate fuck on television ever. Holy Hell! The LSH had to take my martini because away I was hyperventilating with sick awe-inspired giggles. Just when you thought that Nazi werewolves were a bit too much, a neck twisting, I'm too lazy to hate fuck you doggie style so let me just turn YOUR WHOLE FUCKING HEAD AROUND scene happens. Oh, Bill William Bill. You bad boy. I knew you had it in you all along, you old dog. However, the great scenes of Eric and Sookie burying a body and discussions of how quickly Eric could be on site in Jackson to rescue Sookie that were crackling with tension and chemistry just pale in comparison.
Tara showing us what an orgasm from tantric, sadomasochistic vampire sex looks like.
Oh, hello there Alcide! You wear a henley better than Beeeel. And you're all kinds of hotness even when you were getting the stuffing beaten out of you by Patrick Swayze's brother. You are exactly what I imagined when I read the books let's just hope they don't turn you into a complete selfish asshole on the show.
Pam having her way with Yevetta: good. The sound effects of what seems to be someone eating an apple and licking her lips after every bite made me fear for Yevetta's Estonian lady bits.
Eric and Lafayette! Together! Again! More! Please!

The Bad

The slow motion bullet. Just because you have a big special effects budget doesn't mean you have to use it all the time, particularly in a way that suggests your audience isn't smart enough to figure out that the werewolf and not Eric was the intended recipient of the bullet. The upside? Seeing Eric's little post-feed fangasm when he tells Sookie that he got the rug all wet.
Should I care about Tommy Mickens? Because I'm not feeling it. He's just a bratty, possibly criminal douchebag at this point.
Yes, Sookie. You are that stupid. Case in point: going into the champagne room with Patrick Swayze's brother.

The Ugly

Joe Lee Mickens' grey/brown/filthy tighty whiteies. I was gobsmacked when he walked into Merlotte's wearing actual pants although they were the same dingy color as his Jockeys. At this point, I'd be happy to see him in a pair of clean boxer shorts with a button fly.
Tara as a zombie based on the influence of supernatural creature. Again.
Jason does does not want to be a cop. But he's still a shitty friend.
Someone please help me to care about Sam. Please!
Sookie's 1980's white lace top. Gah. My eyes!

True Blood Recap, 3.02 Beautifully Broken

2010-06-28T20:34:00.000-07:00

Here's this week's The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly break down of True Blood 3.02, Beautifully Broken just as soon as I'm done staring at myself in the mirror in the ladies room with Pam. Sorry it is late but I had a work trip and got a fellowship to finish my dissertation OH DEAR GOD I MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE TO GROW UP AND GRADUATE AND GET A JOB AND BE SCHOLARLY OR SOMETHING ALREADY. Needless to say, spoilers abound so don't read until you've watched it.

The Good

Russell Edgington, vampire king of Mississippi and there is just so much to love about him. There's the white stallion, the gay bluetooth security mafia, the red waist coat, the "we don't need to say everything we think," the smarm, the accent, the wonderful creepiness of him. I just wonder how he knows so much. How does he know that Bill killed Sookie's kiddy fiddler of an uncle? How in the holy hell does he know who Sookie is? I wonder if he knows about Sookie's magic fingers of electric mysterious mysticism.
Lafayette works two legal jobs and hustles on the internets and sells V to support his mother's life at the looney bin? I didn't think it was possible to love him even more -- because I'm a little bitch for him anyways -- but once again, his character proves to be one of the best changes from the books. Not to mention his whole exchange with Lettie Mae when he says that "You're too busy praising Jesus to realize that your daughter tryin to move in with him permanently." I just want the other Jesus, you know the one who spits in Ruby Jean's food through those rotten cheese teeth, to be good for our boy.
Sookie and Jason's exchange about the existence of werewolves was For The Win! But when she said, "I keep expecting him to come through the door and say Suuuukkeh" the scene became EPIC.
Passionate primal sex with Eric. (Btw, welcome back book Eric)
Jessica, Jessica and Pam, Jessica with a chainsaw, Jessica spraying Lysol to cover up the scente of decaying trucker flesh, Jessica and her torment over Hoyt and her new killer nature. Shall I go on?
What the fuck is Franklin Mott up to with those ugly assed cowboy boots? Discovering a dossier on Sookie at Bill's? Hmmmm it looks like they ARE keeping a plot point from the books. I don't really care, he just needs to keep being scruffy and talking in that sexy accent even though he looks sort of manorexic. (Paging my bad boy fetish in 3...2...1...)
Terri Belfleur because who doesn't have a funny cousin like that? Plus, with an armadillo named Felix, what's not to like? Granted, I find him way more compelling than Arlene but that's just me being picky.

The Bad

Bill with furry wolf ear between his teeth. A genteel southern man like that should have better table manners.
Operation werewolf. Seriously? Eric and Godric in Nazi uniforms? I just.... well.... I've just accepted that there is no bridge too far for True Blood. And that is OKAY with me.
I'm still not feeling the Sam and his long lost family story line. How the hell does it fit in with the rest of the plot? I just don't see it. I suspect that the vampire blood as sacred thread is going to be what ultimately ties everything together but so far Sam doesn't really seem connected to that. Aside from that, Sam's white trash family live in what looks like my college boyfriend's house, replete with shitty furniture, empty beer bottles and a kickass television.

The Ugly

The amber glowy werewolf eyes. Isn't it enough that they can become wolves?
Tara and the substance abuse and the self loathing. Again. WTF happened to season one Tara? I miss you. When Tara asks "What the hell is wrong with me," my internal bullshit meter says PLENTY but it is mostly the fault of the writers. And then Franklin holds the rednecks while she beats the shit out of them. It's like Maryanne all over again. Also: Why is Tara's whole character since season 1 totally determined by her boyfriends? We wimmens have more to life than our boyfriends. Just saying...
Jason and Andy. At the end of last season I was stoked for a story line of the two of them together fighting crime on the mean streets of Bon Temps. Now? Not so much.

Sons of Anarchy - News Roundup

2010-06-15T07:19:00.000-07:00

We are approximately a mere 85 days away from the premiere of Season 3 of Sons of Anarchy. It's so close -- yet still so far. Luckily, the news about Season 3 is coming in a steady stream now which makes the waiting so much easier. First off, in addition to following Kurt Sutter on Twitter, you should also follow or check out the Twitter feed of the SAMCRO Blogger. The SAMCRO Blogger is the official FX SOA blog and provides daily pictures from the set, production updates, and answers fan questions. He/She look, I think it's a dude but who the hell knows is a great addition to the online SOA community so check it out.

There have been two great articles written by people who have visited the set. Mo Ryan from the Chicago Tribune paid a visit and had a lot to report on casting, plot teasers not spoilers, and some general ideas about the direction of Season 3 as it relates to the Belfast Chapter of Sons of Anarchy. Liz Fraizer who writes the Rippin Kitten Blog just came back from a visit to the Sons of Anarchy set and has a great, charming (pun intended) post with loads of amazing pictures, including some never-before-seen snaps of sets for the Belfast story line. And, in case you missed it, here is what Stephen King wrote about his role on SOA.

Award season is heating up and the Television Critics Association has nominated Sons of Anarchy for best drama and Katey Sagal has been nominated for best actor. There is positive Emmy buzz for Katey Sagal and FX is promoting SOA so keep your fingers crossed, go sacrifice a chicken in your back yard, and throw a handful of salt over your shoulder. Meanwhile, it appears to be The Year of Anger for leading men in the Emmy race and Ron Perlman called playing Clay Morrow "intoxicating." Speaking of interviews, Maggie Siff was interviewed about Season 3, discussing how she channels Tara's intelligence, passion and loyalty to play the darker aspects of Tara's character.

Also! We have episode names for 3.04 Home and 3.06 Push. Also! Also! Taryn Manning will be back to reprise her role as Cherry/Rita. Something tells me she isn't going to be happy about Half-Sack's death. Perhaps Gemma can counsel her on grief and revenge?

Finally.... well.... this could be epic. There will be a Sons of Anarchy panel at Comic-Con. Sons of Anarchy fans, Twihards, Sci-Fi fans, comic book fanboys, and people dressed as superheroes all in one place? It. Might. Just. Be. too good to be true. I have a sick fantasies about this -- but I've probably said too much already... Anyways, cast members of Sons of Anarchy will make an appearance at Big Bear this Saturday, June 19.

I'll be back to the questionnaire posts in the near future. I've still got Clay and Jax in the queue!

Recap: True Blood 3.01, Pack of Wolves

2010-06-14T06:57:00.000-07:00

Here is my recap of this week's episode of True Blood, Pack of Wolves broken down by The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly aspects of the show. Maybe there was too much hype leading up to the season premiere, but I was completely underwhelmed by this episode. But with that said, I'm eager for the rest of the season. Now, on to the recap!

The Good

The vampire blood network of intrigue between the Queen, the Magister, Eric, Pam, and Lafayette. Why is the Queen a broke ass? Perhaps she should sell me that awesome fur she was wearing. Also, I kind of love that the vampires consider giving blood to humans as a desecration. Tangential to the blood intrigue: Eric's vulnerability by being subject to the Queen's flip, near-sighted, insane ways. He sees what's coming down the line and realizes he will be the fall vamp -- how he gets around this should be interesting.
Jessica's whole story line. Complete with trying to revive the dead trucker with her blood, being called by Bill, calling herself a "freak of nature" and not getting grossed out by crying blood anymore. Bravo, Ginger.
Pam. Pam in a hot pink knit suit. Pam in latex with red trim. Pam hitting on Sookie. Pam being called by Eric. Pam reasoning that Eric should tell the Queen about Bill's disappearance. Pam intimidating Lafayette in the walk-in refrigerator. Pam, Pam, Pam. Any way you dice it Pam was fucking awesome in this episode. She seems to be True Blood's new Lafayette because she had the better lines.
Arlene is pregnant. God help Terry. Those two are going to be peculiar together for a long time.
Eric's ass. Really? I think that is all I need to say.
The wolves! Yipee! Bill's little line "I should warn you, I've fed" was pretty awesome. Now where the hell is Alcide already?

The Bad

One MAJOR complaint about this episode of True Blood as a whole: I realize there is a large cast. I realize that they need to reconnect with the cast of 1,000s characters to establish them in the new season. But do they have to do all of that in the first 30 minutes of the season premiere?
Arlene and Tara and the race card -- it feels old and tired.
Tara's mother, Lettie May. I just want to see them go on a gin-fueled bender together.
Bill glamouring that old lady with emphysema for blood and clothing. Haven't we seen him do this before? Or do we have to reestablish that Bill isn't such a nice guy so that Sookie can hook up with Eric?

The Ugly

It's ugly that I have so little to say about Sookie in this episode. Really, she was like vanilla pudding. Her little self righteous diatribe about why the police should be looking for Bill was way too obvious. Although I did kind of love it when she and Tara got in a cat fight.
The Fuck You Crew? That was the best name the writers could come up with?
Jason's limp dick encounter with the vet school/bullet hole gals. (Was it just me or were they twins?). The fact that Jason would have erectile dysfunction after killing Eggs was just a little too... errr.... on point. Also, any growth that Jason seemed to accomplish at the end of the season is loooooong gone. Case in point: not realizing that Hoyt needed a place to stay.
The smell of "dead opossums" under the house.
Sam and Bill. Just. No.

True Blood: Release the Snark?

2010-05-25T15:12:00.000-07:00

Every Tuesday night rolls around and I have this strange hole inside of me. I miss Sons of Anarchy. More importantly, I miss recapping Sons of Anarchy like crazy. I've been toying with the idea of recapping True Blood Season 3 as a little warm up. You know, just to get the snark juices flowing again. Don't get me wrong. I love the show. If there was ever a television show set in a small town that needs--deserves--a bit of snark, True Blood is it. But then the so-called, Drop of True Blood: Bill Compton edition hit the internets today... and well, I just can't resist. The 4:30 minute long minisode is below, followed by my recap.

True Blood: Season 3 - Bill Minisode

HBO | MySpace Video
Mysterious and urgent knocking brings the slightly damp, open-robed vampire Bill Compton to the door of his antebellum home that I can only assume is still standing because the termites are holding hands. And who can that be, knocking at Bill's door? Only Joanna Smallwood née Bushey I swear the writers must have been stoned when they came up with her name from the local jewelry shop. While open-robed Bill remains open-robed, Joanna drops an inappropriate comment about her ex-husband's Small Wood. Get it? Ha-Ha. It must have been Mauie Wowie and Cheetos for lunch in the writers room. Anyways... Blah, Blah, Blah. A lame joke about an actual box of gems containing "real gems" and then open-robed vampire Bill selects a diamond set in yellow gold for Sookie. You know because yellow gold is soooo popular among brides-to be these days. After Joanna Smallwood née Bushey encourages Vampire Bill to JAM THE RING ON MY PINKY FINGER, he uses his sexytime vampire powers of glamor look it's part of the mythology, I'm not making this shit up to get her to fess up that she wants him to, "Ravish me right here on this velvet couch and take me gently, but not too gently, the way a pirate would." Like. A. Pirate. Would. Seriously, you can't make this shit up. I actually had to pause it I was laughing so hard and then I replayed it about 3 times just for the lolz. So how does open-robed Vampire Bill capitalize on the "offensive" objectification? By getting the ring at cost, of course! You know, like any slick 21st Century vampire would, right? Bill Compton, you total square, get your bad self over to Dillards to buy some more brocade bathrobes.

The Questionnaire: Tara Knowles

2010-05-20T18:11:00.000-07:00

Next up in the series of Sons of Anarchy characters meet the Inside the Actors Studio questionnaire, Dr. Tara Knowles. To catch up on basically everyone else except for Clay and Jax click here. Fuuuuuuuck. I thought these posts would last until at least August. Damnit.

What is your favorite word?

SAMCRO

What is your least favorite word?

SAMCRO

What turns you on?

Jax in the shower, pistol whipping bureaucrats, and knocking boots next to dead ex-boyfriends

What turns you off?

Porn bitches. Buy Lyla is sort of growing on me - like a fungus.

What sound or noise do you love?

Babies cooing, the sound of a pistol firing when I'm blowing off steam with Gemma, and when the boys in SAMCRO call m Doc.

What sound or noise do you hate?

Gemma's voice when she gets all preachy about my status as Jax's Old Lady. But deep down I know she's right.

What is your favorite curse word?

Shit. Like everyone else on this show, we're not allowed to say "fuck" on basic cable.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Nanny or pre-school teacher. I love babies. They give me the warm cozies and keep my dark side at bay.

What profession would you not like to do?

Anything where I couldn't be around kids. Have I mentioned that I looooooooove babies?

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when arrive at the Pearly Gates?

The way things are going, I don't know if I'll be able to take cure enough sick babies to make up for the things I've done to get into Heaven.

Alert! Alert!

2010-05-14T10:04:00.000-07:00

Kurt Sutter has published a new blog post about the mythology associated with the family flaw, gun running, and the Belfast Chapter of Sons of Anarchy, also known as Sam Bell. It offers in interesting look inside how SAMCRO got in the gun running business.

Here's an an excerpt:

Thomas' childhood was a series of tests, treatments and hospital stays. Not only did it have an emotional toll on John and Gemma, it created a huge financial burden as well. Up until that point, the Redwood Originals had been involved in some illegal enterprises, but not guns.

Continue reading here.

What do you think? What do you think it might mean for season 3?

Sons of Anarchy Season 3 - New updates

2010-05-11T20:13:00.000-07:00

With the premiere of Season 3 of Sons of Anarchy a mere 119 (or 126 depending on how you estimate it) days away, great yet not completely satisfying because the wait is killing me little bits of news keep emerging.

First, we have some episode titles! There has been no word on a title for 3.01. My guess is that The Prince of Charming Loses His Shit After The Kid was Kidnapped might be a bit too on the nose for Sons of Anarchy. However, we know that 3.02 is titled Oiled and 3.03 is titled Caregiver.

Second, casting news! The Master of Darkness, Stephen King will be making an appearance on Episode 3.03 as a "quiet loner" who helps Gemma in her time of need. Apparently King is a fan of the show. What exactly is Gemma's need? (Get your minds out of the gutters, ya dirty pervs! You know Gemma has the Mojave vajayjay going on.) I'm guessing it might have something to do with her gun-happy father, general shenanigans from being on the lam with Unser, or perhaps the emergence of the mythical bounty hunter plot point.

In addition, James Cosmo, you know... Renton's dad from Trainspotting, has been cast to play Kellan Ashby. He is an Irish priest connected to the RIRA whose character arc will last for 8 episodes. Just a little aside here, but fucking A with the background research on Irish politics and resistance groups because Sinn Fein, the Provisional IRA, and the Real IRA are so clearly distinct, unique groups (sarcasm added). I mean, the LSH's parents are from Dublin so it's not like I'm completely ignorant when it comes to Irish independence concerns. Anyways, I wonder if Kellan Ashby and Maureen O'Nolastnamereleasedyet know each other. Me thinks yes.

In other news, sons-of-anarchy.net has the first fan photo from the Season 3 set up. Mosie on over there and check it out if you want to see whether Charlie Hunnam still has that freaking Jesus Cobain beard.

Don't forget to fire up your credit cards and pre-order your copy of Sons of Anarchy Season 2 on DVD and BluRay. No release date yet, naturally. In the meantime, check of the Girl of Mayhem podcast. She does great character analyses and some pretty serious recaps.

The Questionnaire: David Hale

2010-05-06T06:33:00.000-07:00

Next up in the Sons of Anarchy characters meets the Inside the Actors Studio Questionnaire series: Deputy Chief of Police David Hale. To catch up on the earlier installments in the series click here. Now, on with the show!

What is your favorite word?

Law

What is your least favorite word?

Necessary Evil

What turns you on?

Staying on the right side of right and wrong, smug righteousness, clandestine workplace romances.

What turns you off?

Moral ambiguity.

What sound or noise do you love?

The sound of handcuffs clicking into place when I arrest someone.

What sound or noise do you hate?

The sound of Harleys rumbling through downtown Charming.

What is your favorite curse word?

Damnit. But I prefer not to swear if I can help it.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Chief of Police, Exterminator, or Mayor of Charming.

What profession would you not like to do?

Criminal defense attorney.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when arrive at the Pearly Gates?

You mostly stayed on the straight and narrow, come on in.

Sookie Day!

2010-05-04T06:20:00.000-07:00

Today, the 10th book in Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire Mystery series is released. I pre-ordered Dead in The Family from Amazon. I shelled out the extra cash for the overnight shipping because I have enough shame to keep me from rushing out to the bookstore like a deranged fangirl but I'm not completely shameless to the point where I will pay a premium to get it on release day.

The UPS man tends to come late in the day so it should be in my hot little hands by 5:00 pm. With rumors of Shakespearean endings floating around, I kind of suspect that a major character might be offed in this installment. But I don't care. I'm just excited for the book. And it is a nice little obsession distraction for the Sons of Anarchy off season. Thank God the LSH will be in Motor City, USA today so he won't be here to interrupt my reading make fun of my fangirl tendencies.

I am woman-child, hear me roar!

2010-05-03T07:17:00.000-07:00

I happily made it through another visit from my parents. Really, my parents are awesome aside from comments about my hair (WHY IS IT SOOO DARK? WHY IS IT STRAIGHT - IT DOESN'T LOOK RIGHT STRAIGHT!). They escaped the cold snowy north to come down to celebrate my birthday, help out with a broken dishwasher issue, and complain that our air conditioning was too cold. Birthday celebrations were a lot of fun, although I remembered that wearing 4 inch heels generally either makes me drink more or makes me feel the effects of alcohol a lot more drastically. While my mom sensibly went to bed at a reasonable hour, my dad, the LSH, and I stayed up drinking and bullshitting until 3:00 am on Saturday night.

Bright and early Sunday morning my mom decided it was time for me to go buy a new dishwasher. Let me back up here. Our dishwasher has been hurtling towards its inevitable demise since the day the builder installed that piece of shit when he built the house.

My mom hauled our two very hungover asses to Sears on Sunday morning. My dad and I were hurting. Looking at the bank of dishwashers I was clammy, sweaty, disoriented, and highly irritable. My mom goes on and on about which options do I want, do I want adjustable racks, stainless or plastic inside, how many decibels, blah blah blah. Who knew picking out a dishwasher could be so complicated? During all of this, I look over at my dad and notice that he too is suffering. He is actually sitting on the fake counter with his head tipped back and eyes closed probably praying for some sleep to make it all stop.

Finally, I muster up the energy to say to my chipper mom "Something that won't break, that is quiet, stainless exterior, and doesn't have any ugly buttons on it. Otherwise you pick. I don't care." Yeah, I totally ceded the dishwasher decision to my mother. I am such a woman-child. I just want things to work, I don't need to know all the details. She picked one out. We mercifully checked out with the help of an all-too perky clerk who informed us that my newly purchased dishwasher would be delivered on May 25. May 25th?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? WTF? But before my ire could build, I just went limp. The hangover sapped all the fight out of me. Until then, it's hand washing (joy!) or paper plates (more likely).

The Questionnaire: Piney Winston

2010-04-28T07:33:00.000-07:00

Next up in the Sons of Anarchy characters meet the Inside the Actors Studio questionnaire, Piney Winston! I must admit that I love Piney. I have a soft spot in my heart for his old ass. But with that being said, I hope that we never see dear Piney's rear in a shower scene. Now, on with the show after the jump!

What is your favorite word?

Outlaw but only in the truest sense of the word. I like Yeeee-Haaaw too.

What is your least favorite word?

Betrayal

What turns you on?

Creating general mayhem, Mary, Patron Silver with bendable straws, and suicidal thoughts.

What turns you off?

Clay Morrow, Mary, Having to tell Opie to man-up, Jax telling me that I smell like shit, and suicidal thoughts

What sound or noise do you love?

I love the sound of a chambering a two rounds in a double-barreled shot gun.

What sound or noise do you hate?

The sound the gavel makes when Clay bangs it at the end of Church. The sound wouldn't bother me if someone else were swinging the gavel.

What is your favorite curse word?

Shit

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

I'm past worrying about might have been at this point in my life. If you really need to know, I wouldn't want to be anything other than an outlaw.

What profession would you not like to do?

I never wanted to be chapter president.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Breathe easy, Piney and come on in. There's plenty of Patron Silver and straws to go around.

The Questionnaire: Opie Winston

2010-04-28T07:31:00.000-07:00

Next up in the series of Sons of Anarchy characters meet the Inside the Actors Studio questionnaire: Harry Winston. No, not that Harry Winston, but Harry "Opie" Winston. Now, away we go with Opie after the jump!

What is your favorite word?

Mercy

What is your least favorite word?

Rat

What turns you on?

Brotherhood, loyalty, and knit caps

What turns you off?

Conflict, manipulation, murder, and store brand dryer sheets

What sound or noise do you love?

The sound of my kids playing when they don't know I'm listening

What sound or noise do you hate?

The sound of June Stahl breathing the same air that I do.

What is your favorite curse word?

Fuck but I never say it.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Controlled structure demolition engineer

What profession would you not like to do?

Porn king-pin

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Donna is waiting for you inside and Agent Stahl is getting the red-hot-poker-up-the-ass treatment in Hell.

Springtime Sentimental

2010-04-26T10:29:00.000-07:00

The South is not my natural habitat. I come from the land of four distinct seasons where people talk at a normal pace and don't refer to the Civil War in regular conversation. My springtime dreams always revert back to home where lilacs perfume the air and peonies grow in huge bushes, heavy with blooms. Sure it is great that it is 85 degrees in April but fuck it is going to be 98 degrees for 2 months straight this summer but finding gorgeous, prolific peonies like is is a rarity. A real treat.

That is all. Carry on, then.

Sons of Anarchy Season 3 - What do we know?

2010-04-25T17:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, there's been some news. Bits and pieces. Dribs and drabs. The Sons of Anarchy Season 3 news that makes the wait thismuch more tolerable. Most importantly, production started on 4/23! Yay! Twitter reports from the table read for Episode 1 are very promising not to mention the first day of production.

Hal Holbrook has been cast as Gemma's father, Nate Hadock for a four episode arc. Apparently Gemma and Dear Old Dad meet up under unusual circumstances. As if we could expect any usual circumstances on our beloved Sons of Anarchy. And Dear Old Dad may or may not be trigger happy while watching old Westerns and suffering from Alzheimer's.

And Gemma. Well. There is a rumor that she is still on the run but apparently, there is a $10,000 bounty out on her. I don't know about the bounty part. The price seems really, really low but then I've never hired a bounty hunter before. And what bounty hunter in their right mind would go out looking for the Beautiful Biker Queen? It just smells fishy to me.

Unsurprisingly, Able is still missing as Season 3 begins and his absence is taking a toll on Jax and Tara and their tru lruv. Paging Wendy! Able's abduction obviously opens up a line for the Belfast chapter so it will be interesting to see the role that (new character alert!) Maureen will play in The Kid's return/demise. (Paula Malcolmson was cast to play Maureen, a character with a 9 episode arc). Perhaps she is Cameron's wife? Just a guess. Plus Jimmy O might come back for a few episodes as well.

Finally, I know the off season is hard. I've resorted to really enjoying Fringe. I get it -- we are al resorting to drastic measures. But before anyone gets really desperate and thinks it would be a brilliant fucking idea to get a Sons of Anarchy tattoo because there are pictures out there on the internets of people who have gotten the full back patch and no I'm not going to link to them. Just remember, Sons of Anarchy is a television show. If you need a flow chart to decide whether SOA themed ink is right for you, perhaps you should consult this.

Yeah, Yeah. I know....

2010-04-23T13:10:00.000-07:00

It's the end of the semester. This pretty much sums up life for me right now (Comic from PhD Comics):

I know a lot has been happening with Sons of Anarchy. I'll get back to regular blogging soon. Unless the computer refuses to spit me back out. If that happens, I'm fucked.

Fantasy Casting

2010-04-15T08:06:00.000-07:00

So with Half-Sack's (SPOILER ALERT) death at the end of Season 2 of Sons of Anarchy, there may be to be an opening for a new prospect in Season 3 of Sons of Anarchy. Now this is purely speculative but ..... It got me wondering who could be cast as a new prospect. I figured that it would have to be someone with talent (duh), believable as a member of SAMCRO, who isn't cover of a tabloid famous and could be the Rosencrantz to Juice's Guildenstern.

If this were an election, I'd cast my vote for Jesse Williams who is on Grey's Anatomy. [Yes, I know Grey's is a horrid, horrid show. I just can't break up with it. Don't judge, okay?]

What do ya'll think? He might work. Sound off in the comments section. While you're at it, sound off about your fantasy casting choices for a would-be replacement for Half-Sack.

The Questionnaire: Wayne Unser

2010-04-12T11:44:00.000-07:00

This week's installment of The Questionnaire series: Chief of Police Wayne Unser. You can catch up on Gemma, Tig, Chibs, Bobby Elvis, Happy, Juice, Agent Stahl, and Chucky here. Enjoy!

What is your favorite word?
Charming

What is your least favorite word?
Corrupt

What turns you on?
Protecting the people I care about

What turns you off?
Being used

What sound or noise do you love?
When Gemma calls me Wayne

What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound of the IV pump that administers my chemo

What is your favorite curse word?
Goddamn

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Ethicist

What profession would you not like to do?
Prison guard

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when arrive at the Pearly Gates?
In spite of your methods, you always did the right thing.

Deputy Chief Hale is next up on deck, rounding out the law enforcement officers on Sons of Anarchy. After Hale, I'll probably return back to the SAMCRO boys - Clay, Opie, and Piney. And maybe Big Otto. Maybe. We'll see.

Trying New Things Is Good: Web Edition

2010-04-08T06:24:00.000-07:00

The first hour of my morning generally consists of being woken up by the Yellow Dog sticking his nose in my face, unleashing him and the Black Dog into the wilds of the backyard, bare-footing it across the family room to get a cup of coffee (coffee makers with timers rawk) and my laptop, promptly crawling back into bed to watch Morning Joe (much to the LSH's snoring, Republican chagrin), deal with the avalanche of work emails, and do my general web surfing. Here is what I read:

News

The Washington Post - The Post is my general web new go-to.
The Daily Beast's Cheat Sheet - a nice news aggregator from all prespectives of the political spectrum and a healthy dose of international sources
Wonkette - Political nerd blog with a healthy sense of humor
Politico - Mostly a skim for headlines
Slate Magazine's The Slatest - another news aggregator and Slate too

Gossip

Lainey Gossip - for such smart observations about celebrities and astute observations about how the stars manipulate the media.
Celebritology - The Morning Mix is not to be missed.
Oh No They Didn't - for the comments.

Lifestyle, etc

The XX Factor - Slate Magazine's blog for women, by women
Domestic Sluttery - The shoe porn has me wanting these flats for summer. And basically, I want to be BFFs with all these women
The Sporkful - by far, the best food podcast. These guys are so obsessive-compulsive about enjoying food that it makes me smile.
Gizmodo - For keeping up with the latest gadgets
Loving True Blood in Dallas - like I have mentioned before, I like me some vampires.
The French Skinny Experiment - Two women, one in Paris and the other in California trying to see if the French way of living translates to the SoCal.
TV Worth Watching - sometimes the blog hits, sometimes it misses, but the daily Best Bets is worth a check-in
Neil Gaiman's Journal - well, for Neil Gaiman.
Occupation Girl - the blog by Cleolinda Jones. Cleolinda is basically my blogging idol. If I can be half as funny as she is, I will die a happy woman. Her Secret Life of Dolls series is not to be missed.

And then I muster the energy to haul my ass in the shower and start my day.

Bits and Pieces

2010-04-06T08:03:00.000-07:00

I came out of the other side of my parents Easter visit with my sanity if not my ego intact. [WHY IS YOUR HAIR SO DARK? DID YOU DO THAT ON PURPOSE? IT IS SO BLACK IT ALMOST LOOKS BLUE. YOUR NATURAL COLOR IS DARK BUT NOT THAT DARK.] Sigh. Anyways, there are a few bits of noteworthy Sons of Anarchy goings on.

First, casting news! Paula Malcolmson has been cast to play a new character named Maureen. You can read all the details at The Watcher. This is purely speculation but I wonder whether her character will be an ATF agent or part of the SAMCRO family. It would be interesting to see Agent Stahl's character go beyond her dogged pursuit of the Sons of Anarchy. Then again, Maureen is a good Irish name so perhaps she might be connected with the SAMCRO chapter in Belfast? Or perhaps Cameron's wife? Let the wild, unfounded speculation begin!

The April 9th deadline is approaching to submit your fan questions to Kurt Sutter for part of the Season 2 DVD extras. Check his blog for all the details of how to submit your question.

If you haven't voted for Gemma yet in the final four of Red Eye's Best Character Tournament do it and do it now! She's down against some guy from Burn Notice, so get to it!

Finally, if you haven't discovered the TV Tropes wiki devoted to Sons of Anarchy, it is really worth a look-see. My personal favorite is Crouching Moron Hidden Badass: Half-Sack is an Iraq war veteran and a surprisingly skilled boxer.

The Questionnaire: Chuck Marstein

2010-04-01T07:58:00.000-07:00

Next up in the Questionnaire series: our beloved if quirky Chucky Marstein. To catch up on Gemma, Tig, Bobby-Elivs, Juice, Happy, Chibs, and ATF Bitchface click here.

Image from Sons on Anarchy Portugal

What is your favorite word?
Money

What is your least favorite word?
Freak

What turns you on?
Being a valued part of a team of gangsters

What turns you off?
Pruning shears

What sound or noise do you love?
The sound of a counterfeit printing press

What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound of people disgusted by me when I am off my meds and back to chronic masturbating.

What is your favorite curse word?
You know, I have enough problems with my whole chronic masturbating disorder so I don't swear a lot.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Psychiatrist

What profession would you not like to do?
Fetish porn

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when arrive at the Pearly Gates?
I accept you.

So now that Chucky has but two fingers left to type, what obsessive behavioral tick do ya'll think he might adopt in Season 3 of Sons of Anarchy? My vote is for chronic nose picking. The comment section awaits.

Put this in your earhole

2010-03-31T17:23:00.000-07:00

Fire up your iPods, kids! My very talented and dear friend David Zaidain has a new album titled "The Art of Forgetting." It is for sale at Amazon RIGHT NOW for a whopping $6.99 so go buy it. All the cool kids are doing it. Even me! That's right, Dave is making me buy it so it's not like I have totally whored myself out.

I love this album. You will like it. I'm totally biased but it rocks. So far my favorite tracks are "Shedding Skin" and "The Man Next to Me."

Need more reasons other than "Kayteadee told me to do it?" Well, look at this cool cover art by Paul Jutton.

Do you still need more reasons? Ya'll are a tough sell. Okay, then, you should know that Dave self-produced this album. Paid out of his own pocket to make it. That's pretty fucking respectable. In fact Dave is such an all-around great guy that when he moved to DC he stayed with the LSH and I when he was trying to find a apartment and HE IS STILL SPEAKING TO US.

So go buy the album, and if you are in the DC area, you can catch him live at Asylum on April 28.

The Questionnaire: ATF Agent June Stahl

2010-03-28T17:54:00.000-07:00

A quick public service announcement before we get down to business. From the top of Mount Outlaw, Kurt Sutter announced on his blog that he will select questions at random from the fans for a roundtable discussion that will be part of the Sons of Anarchy Season 2 DVD extras. Here's a link to the full announcement on his blog with all the details of how to submit your questions. Be cool and follow the rules, ya'll. Don't ya just know that some fangirl hot for Jax is going to ask some totally awkward and borderline inappropriate question about how Charlie Hunnam prepares for his butt scenes. I'm just sayin'

Annnnnd, we're back to the questionnaire. A brief recap to catch up. One day while reading the back page of Vanity Fair, I wondered how the characters on Sons of Anarchy might respond to the questions posed on Inside the Actor's Studio. To catch up on Gemma, Tig, Bobby-Elvis, Chibs, Happy, and Juice click here. This week's installment is none other than ATF Agent June Stahl aka Agent Bitchface or ATF Bitch.

What is your favorite word?
Justice and manipulation are tied for first place.

What is your least favorite word?
SAMCRO

What turns you on?
Being armed, coffee, black bras under white dress shirts, stripper poles, and getting good head.

What turns you off?
Lectures on ethics.

What sound or noise do you love?
The silence in the room right before a confidential informant decides to flip.

What sound or noise do you hate?
Opie Winston's voice.

What is your favorite curse word?
Bitch. Go figure.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Gun running king-pin.

What profession would you not like to do?
Anything overly feminine -- hair stylist, nail tech, or esthetician.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Heaven doesn't exist for me, darlin'

Until next time, I leave ya'll with this classic bit of Inside the Actors Studio comedy