Sons of Anarchy 2.11 Service Recap

Uh…  Greetings new readers!  After the Twitter Incident Of Which We Will Not Speak, I have some newfound performance anxiety so I’m going to imagine that you all are in your underwear like my mom told me to do at my 4^th grade tap recital.  I still fucked up my shuffle-ball-change, bringing a hasty and merciful end to my career as a tap dancer.  So, for all of our sakes, let’s hope this recap at least goes better than that.

So previously on As the Harley Rumbles, Gemma revealed her big secret, Opie took off his stinky hat and got some, Chibs was released from the hospital and reunited with those friendly IRA guys, and Jax didn’t go Nomad.  Service opens up right where we left off with Jax sewing his patches back on (Has anyone ever tried to sew leather?  I have and it is quite difficult).  In my mind, Service was all about our favorite characters hugging it out.  Outlaw bikers = HUGS NOT THUGS.   That may be a bit over the top but not by much.  We saw SAMCRO and associates in service to each other (yes, I know that sounds dirty) and the result was bringing the MC together again. 

At Church, the boys in SAMCRO resist the urge to cut the still beating hearts out of Principal Zobelle and crew in favor of being a bit smarter about serving up revenge.  In this whole exchange we get a glimmer of how the MC should work when Clay and Jax are on the same page and SAMCRO is in once piece.  And it is brilliant.  Under those best-case scenario circumstances, you can totally see why all these guy would pledge themselves to the club.  The tragedy of Sons of Anarchy is that we are given these glimpses of how well the MC can work together but we all know that this harmony isn’t going to last for long.

 While the MC is strong and unified, Gemma is now completely unraveled after revealing that she was raped.  I don’t blame her.  I’d probably be smoking a joint in yesterday’s clothes and having almost-sex with Tig too.  WAIT.  WHAT.  Oh right, because when you put two wounded, unhinged people together that kind of makes sense in a sick/hurt/lonely way.  They stop things before it gets any more cringe-worthy but it causes Gemma and Tig to do some pretty fascinating things to deal with their hurt.  Gemma shares a smoke in a churchyard with a reformed junkie priest contemplating going to a woe-is-me-circle-jerk. 

In a somewhat less reflective but more penitent way, Tig decides it’s time.  Time to tell Opie.  Thank, God because he shot Donna like 12 episodes ago.  When Opie listens to Tig asking questions about the night Donna was killed, we see a wave of realization cross his face and it ain’t a warm happy look.  Tig lets Opie beat the shit out of him who are you and what have you done with my favorite sociopath? And I can’t help thinking that those rings have got to hurt.  Tig puts it all on ATF Bitch and once the fight is broke up, off Opie goes to kill her ass or just scare her.  Meanwhile, all the members of the MC look at Clay with deserved disgust.   

   So Opie and Agent Bitchface.  Is it any surprise that Opie showed her more mercy than she deserved?  Time and time again, we have seen her manipulate people, using the vulnerabilities of their families as leverage.  All of this while using her ATF windbreaker to insulate her from the consequences.  Josef Mengela could have taught this woman something about ethics and she’d be a better human being.  If she were in a gang, she would have been dead, dead, dead a long time ago.  (Btw, this scene was so well performed by Ryan Hurst and Ally Walker.)

Meanwhile, once Opie gets cleaned up, he and Jax hug it out after realizing that they are responsible for Clay’s skewed approach to running the club —and they will be his undoing paging season 3.  Jax gives Opie Dead Daddy Teller’s Burnt Book of Biker Wisdom. And Opie reads it.  Without the hat of dirty scalp stank.  

Somewhere in all of this mix, Tara has diarrhea of the mouth and blurts out:  IGOTSUSPENED—IMSOONOTINTOYOUSCREWINGOTHERGIRLSONTHESIDE—WHEREISTHISGOING—IWANTTOGETMARRIED—ANDIWANTBABIES—BAAAABBIIIEEESSS!   And then Jax and Tara hug it out.  I really have to hand it to the writers on this.  They nailed us ladies.  Or at least some of us.  We get emotionally overwhelmed and it all comes out in one long, gasping, poorly-timed, uncomfortable declaration. 

Oh, and Tara fixes Tig's face while Tig slimily charms her about the scuffle with a brother.  (Welcome back, you creepy fuck.   I’ve missed you.)  While Tig is cleaning himself up, Half-Sack drops trou before Tara can protest, revealing his horrifically infected testicles (mark my words, if SOA was HBO we would have seen it).  Holy Mary, Mother of Ball.  I guess it was all that bacteria in the Healing Mud Bath that made it coarm.  Something tells me that Sack will be Half-Sack yet again. Let’s just hope he doesn’t become No-Sack. 

We wrap up with Chibs doing the right thing and coming clean about his deal-gone-wrong with ATF Bitch.  I watched the scene with Gemma and Chibs like 5 times.  It was just that good.  Under Opie’s withering glare, Clay absolves Chibs and resolves that SAMCRO will protect him and his family.  Opie is going to stick around because even though the club killed his wife but really wanted to kill him wtf is this not even going to be addressed he is going to make sure they make it right starting with Chibs and Piney.

 

Remainders

• Um.  Where are Chucky and Darby?  I mean, I think that Zobelle and crew know why they haven’t seen Darby but none of the Sons have asked about Chucky.
• Amazed and shocked that Clay recognizes that he can't deliver retaliation without Jax.
  
• I’m not quite ready yet to declare Piney out of the suicide woods.  I wonder if that whole shoot-em-up was really more of an attempt at a suicide by cop biker.  
• I didn’t even get to Unser turning Hale into Acting Chief or Principal Zobelle’s master plan.

Note on the Tig photo above.  I got it from ONTD but I can't figure out how to give the right person credit for it.  If someone knows, or could put me in touch with the ONTD/SAMCRO people I would very much like to provide attribution.

Sons of Anarchy Potlatch Recap

Before the recap begins, let’s take a moment to observe the passing of a favorite character:  Goodbye, Luanne Delaney.  _{Thank God, we didn’t have to witness Georgie Caruso’s goon beating you to death}.  I have no idea what an anal rain dance is because I never had the courage to Google it but your love for your husband, your business..  um..  prowess when it came to managing Bobby Elvis the second set of books, and your devotion to protecting your “talent” will be missed. 

Now, let’s get on with the recap.  In my mind, the fragmentation of the MC and the implications of that really came into full view during Potlatch.  It’s one thing to see Clay and Jax beat the shit out of each other, but an entirely separate thing to see Tig’s reluctance to step up [no it isn’t gay to want to see Half-Sack’s neuticle, in fact I did too and I promise we all would have if this show was on HBO], Bobby Elvis’ below-the-radar group intervention, and Opie’s attempt to make in roads with Jax.  And central to all of this unraveling is Gemma.  Remember badass Gemma from Season 1?  The way she held SAMCRO so tightly in her hand?  Darlin’ she’s the glue – it isn’t the MC.  As the secret of her rape unravels her and divides her from Clay, Jax, and the rest of the MC, the fragmentation reverberates throughout SAMCRO. 

Tig’s reticence is fascinating especially considering his personal loyalty to Clay.  We see him show some quite twisted compassion for Chucky when Clay is ready to cut him loose. [And, btw, thank you Lin for chopping off Chucky’s fingers to keep him from masturbating.  I accept that.] Tig does not rush in to back up Clay at the Great Rest Stop Showdown.  Why?  I’m suspecting because he thought it was a pretty terrible idea and considering what went down at the ill-fated Dinner of the Faithful, I don’t blame him.   And see, this whole time Tig is deep and pensive not just some sociopath who gets off on corpses and livestock. 

Bobby Elvis continues his stealth approach to mending fences.  Well, that and poorly denying knowledge of what it’s like to knock boots with a porn star.  And his words to Jax from last episode take on new meaning.  Jax clearly didn’t get that Bobby was telling him that Clay would never admit that he was wrong so it would be Jax’s role to be the bigger man and mend fences for the MC. So Bobby Elvis puts his own plan into action by getting the boys to parse out the truth and bring the issue to the table.  It’s ironic that Tig went to talk to Clay and Opie went to talk to Jax because it might have been more productive but a less useful plot element to have pair up Tig with Jax and Opie with Clay.  And we can see Bobby starting to piece together the timeline of the beef:  sometime around Donna’s death.  [NOTE TO OPIE:  KEEP ASKING QUESTIONS.  YOU’RE GETTING WARMER.]

Opie who scares the shit out of me but I am really rooting for makes the start of an inroad with Jax in getting payback for the robbery at Caracara and trying to work on their bromance while being held up by the Mayans.  Opie seems to be channeling his anger in to protecting Lyla and thus opening things up for a more rational approach to dealing with the club.   

And all of this leads us to the blowout at Castle Elsinore Gemma’s house.  I think Neeta is the only person present who isn’t mad with seething rage.  While in the midst of demanding to know where Jax, Opie, and Bobby Elvis have been, Clay and crew learn that Luanne has been murdered.  In an unsurprising hypocritical manipulative way, Clay tries to put the murder on Jax.  Opie and Bobby Elvis share responsibility for the decision.  And then… wait for it…  Jax shouts that he isn’t the one murdering women!  [FFS, Opie, are you listening here?  Really? How many more signs do you need, man?].  And then..  Gemmaplatesmash! 

Remainders

• Hey, Chibs is awake and is wife is there and her hair is just like mine.  And the wife scares the shit out of Gemma.  I didn’t know that was possible
• Zobelle is giving Alvarez and the Mayans guns for free?  Mmmmmkay
• Polly is sleeping with using the young IRA guy.  I’m sure it’s tru lurv. 
• Tara wants her live separate thankyouverymuch, Gemma. 
• Where the hell is Piney?
• And Juice?  Wonder how long he will be laid up in the hospital.  

I accept that...  ktd

Sons of Anarchy Potlatch, Speculation on the Character That Dies

Possible Spoiler Warning.  I have no idea what is going to happen, it's just my speculation and process of elimination of trying to sort out who will die on Sons of Anarchy this week.  


I know, I know, I know.  I've been convinced that it Bobby Elvis is going to be the character on Sons of Anarchy to bite the dust the for the past few weeks. (And I'm totes ok with Bobby Elvis living to see as many days as Kurt Sutter has in mind for this character.  Bobby Elivs is, by far, one of my favorites).  But this from E!  just puts a knot in my stomach:   

Q:  Any more hints on the brutal Sons of Anarchy death? 

A:  When we said that the brutal death on Sons of Anarchy was not a man in uniform, most you assumed that only eliminated Hale, Uncer and Trammell, but if you think about it, those MC cuts sure are a lot like uniforms. You can take everyone in a motorcycle gang out of the death pool, and we'll throw in Johnny Lewis' Prospect/Half-Sack as a bonus elimination. Tell us in the comments if you've figured out who that leaves in danger.

So, in my read on this that it is someone, (1) not in the club  and (2) who has been around since the first season.  So here is the list of possible characters who might not live to see Fa Guan:
Gemma Morrow
Tara Knowles
The IRA guy who got shot in the ass in season 1 who has the smarmy son (yeah, obviously, I don't remember his name)
Elliott Oswald
Luann Delaney


I'm going to knock Gemma and Tara out of contention straight away.  Surely, the writers wouldn't kill off one of the main characters this early in the series.   I'm going to eliminate the IRA guy too because he is no longer close with the club and I don't really foresee his death leading to any heartbreak. 


That leaves us with Oswald and Luann.  We get hints that there are problems in the porn business with implications for a certain diva from the synopsis.  And, I've got a hunch that the E!'s spoiler deliberately uses "man" instead of a gender neutral word, like "person."  So, if I were a betting woman, my money would be on Luann to meet her untimely and violent demise this week.  Why does this process of elimination make my stomach hurt?  After seeing Gemma's terrible gang rape in the season premiere, I don't know if I can take watching Luann (or any other woman) getting her brains bashed in.  I'm going to trust the show...  the violence has been equally handed out to the male and female characters...  but...  the feminist in me is apprehensive...    

Sons of Anarchy 2.04 Eureka Recap

So we open with Gemma helping Clay inject cortisone into his hands before the charity run.  While not making eye contact with Gemma, Clay talks about how the time away (An overnight trip?  Seriously?) might help Gemma get past whatever this is (SHE WAS GANG RAPED, KING CLUELESS).  Gemma gives a noncommittal ‘Perhaps’ and off goes King Clay.   Meanwhile, over at the Prince of Charming’s house… Jax who is incredibly easy on the eyes, keep up the good work sparky drops the L bomb on Tara, flashes his pearly whites and then…  wait for it…  goes to take care of his own kid.  I can’t tell if Tara is more surprised that it took Jax this many episodes to tell her that he loves her unprompted, the realization that she is Jax’s old lady, or if she is finally relieved from being the night time nanny.

The MC assembles at Teller-Morrow to depart for the charity/gun run.  Angry Opie tells Jax that his kids are just fine, thank you very much and now mind your own fucking business.  Piney stays home to man Castle Elsinore the garage, but per Clay’s instructions should mind the cars and not Gemma.  

And now for the scene of jocular, vulgar, hilarious banter amongst the members of the MC.  I have to hand it to the writers – how they manage an assless chaps joke and Neuticle joke in the same exchange is pure genius.   (And seriously, Neuticle seems to be a brand name of a company that makes testicular implants for pets that have been neutered.  So, I guess poor Half-Sack has that going for him)  Bravo.  It is moments like this that make me love these characters.  So off they go to save the children.  And, btw, thanks Happy.  Nothing says charity like firing off your Gloc before the crew heads out. 

And alas, cue the motorcycle porn as the MC rumbles out of town and hits the highway.   The whole scene is so badass. (Note to the writers: this is a motorcycle show, isn’t it?  Can we see a bit more of the Harley porn, please?).  The SOA picks up their handguns from the IRA guy.  Oh hi, IRA guy, hey, how’s your ass now that Juice’s finger isn’t keeping you from bleeding out? And we’re back to the Harley porn – thank God.  Wait. Not so fast.   Bobby Elivs’ fat boy bites the dust, taking out Tig.  All I can say is, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.  So Tig is rescued from the evils of HMO limbo by bounty hunters.  Apparently Tig got a little too friendly with the cargo on a livestock transport in Oregon.  I just want to know what sort of livestock – cows, pigs, sheep, chickens?       

Back in Charming, Gemma gets the no-face mask of gang rape in the mail and heads to town to fuck up some shit.  Zobelle gives her his menacing evil yet pleasant bitchface and she runs back to the car to wave her pretty gun at a pushy redneck who wants her parking space.  Chief Unser comes to take her gun away and Gemma takes off in pursuit of Henry Rollins (yes, he has a character name but does anyone know what it is, really?  Yeah, you don’t either– exactly what I thought.).  Gemma tracks Henry Rollins down to the cleanest set of port-a-pots ever to grace the planet, gets him in her sights and then loses the nerve to fire because he has a family. Damnit.  At this point, I’m really missing Season 1 Gemma.  Darlin’ you need to get your ass-kicking mojo back. 

So Clay and Jax fight over whether, when, how, and how many guys it will take to rescue Tig.  Jax, a modern day John Adams, implores King Claudius Clay to call the vote.  Ah, but dear Jax, the MC isn’t ruled by democracy, it seems to be ruled by Clay’s brittle, arthritic iron fists until he is humiliated by his weak hands and lays his bike down before he can get off the lot.  Half-Sack comes correct with the intel on Tig’s whereabouts.  Piney rolls up with the flatbed and before Jax and Clay can fight (again), Piney rolls off with Jax, Chibs, Smiley, and Half-Sack to go liberate Tig.  And this scene is why I love Piney – he might ride a trike, but he’s still up for some good outlaw mayhem. 

The SOA rides off to relay the guns (yeah, remember those).  Piney and Tig drive off into the sunset sharing a bottle of Patron with two straws because germs are icky, ya’ll.   At the biker camp, the crew is celebrating.  Except for Jax who is angsting with his knock-off bottle of Jack Daniels.  Here comes yet another Jax/Clay confrontation that ends in Clay threatening to kill Hamlet Jax if he ever brings up the Donna debacle again.  Ah, good family times. 

The WTF moment for Eureka:  Opie.  Seiously.  Opie is now going all bitchface on Jax and telling Clay that he is with him no matter what?  Seriously?   If you only knew the half of it, darlin’.   

Best action moment:  Well, that would be Piney backing the flat bed into the motel, the look on Tig's face as he sees it coming, and then the balls-out rescue scene.     

The get over yourself moment:  Tara asking Chief Unser what he makes of her relationship with Jax.  Seriously?  She needs validation from the corrupt cop?