Sons of Anarchy 2.04 Eureka Recap

So we open with Gemma helping Clay inject cortisone into his hands before the charity run.  While not making eye contact with Gemma, Clay talks about how the time away (An overnight trip?  Seriously?) might help Gemma get past whatever this is (SHE WAS GANG RAPED, KING CLUELESS).  Gemma gives a noncommittal ‘Perhaps’ and off goes King Clay.   Meanwhile, over at the Prince of Charming’s house… Jax who is incredibly easy on the eyes, keep up the good work sparky drops the L bomb on Tara, flashes his pearly whites and then…  wait for it…  goes to take care of his own kid.  I can’t tell if Tara is more surprised that it took Jax this many episodes to tell her that he loves her unprompted, the realization that she is Jax’s old lady, or if she is finally relieved from being the night time nanny.

The MC assembles at Teller-Morrow to depart for the charity/gun run.  Angry Opie tells Jax that his kids are just fine, thank you very much and now mind your own fucking business.  Piney stays home to man Castle Elsinore the garage, but per Clay’s instructions should mind the cars and not Gemma.  

And now for the scene of jocular, vulgar, hilarious banter amongst the members of the MC.  I have to hand it to the writers – how they manage an assless chaps joke and Neuticle joke in the same exchange is pure genius.   (And seriously, Neuticle seems to be a brand name of a company that makes testicular implants for pets that have been neutered.  So, I guess poor Half-Sack has that going for him)  Bravo.  It is moments like this that make me love these characters.  So off they go to save the children.  And, btw, thanks Happy.  Nothing says charity like firing off your Gloc before the crew heads out. 

And alas, cue the motorcycle porn as the MC rumbles out of town and hits the highway.   The whole scene is so badass. (Note to the writers: this is a motorcycle show, isn’t it?  Can we see a bit more of the Harley porn, please?).  The SOA picks up their handguns from the IRA guy.  Oh hi, IRA guy, hey, how’s your ass now that Juice’s finger isn’t keeping you from bleeding out? And we’re back to the Harley porn – thank God.  Wait. Not so fast.   Bobby Elivs’ fat boy bites the dust, taking out Tig.  All I can say is, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.  So Tig is rescued from the evils of HMO limbo by bounty hunters.  Apparently Tig got a little too friendly with the cargo on a livestock transport in Oregon.  I just want to know what sort of livestock – cows, pigs, sheep, chickens?       

Back in Charming, Gemma gets the no-face mask of gang rape in the mail and heads to town to fuck up some shit.  Zobelle gives her his menacing evil yet pleasant bitchface and she runs back to the car to wave her pretty gun at a pushy redneck who wants her parking space.  Chief Unser comes to take her gun away and Gemma takes off in pursuit of Henry Rollins (yes, he has a character name but does anyone know what it is, really?  Yeah, you don’t either– exactly what I thought.).  Gemma tracks Henry Rollins down to the cleanest set of port-a-pots ever to grace the planet, gets him in her sights and then loses the nerve to fire because he has a family. Damnit.  At this point, I’m really missing Season 1 Gemma.  Darlin’ you need to get your ass-kicking mojo back. 

So Clay and Jax fight over whether, when, how, and how many guys it will take to rescue Tig.  Jax, a modern day John Adams, implores King Claudius Clay to call the vote.  Ah, but dear Jax, the MC isn’t ruled by democracy, it seems to be ruled by Clay’s brittle, arthritic iron fists until he is humiliated by his weak hands and lays his bike down before he can get off the lot.  Half-Sack comes correct with the intel on Tig’s whereabouts.  Piney rolls up with the flatbed and before Jax and Clay can fight (again), Piney rolls off with Jax, Chibs, Smiley, and Half-Sack to go liberate Tig.  And this scene is why I love Piney – he might ride a trike, but he’s still up for some good outlaw mayhem. 

The SOA rides off to relay the guns (yeah, remember those).  Piney and Tig drive off into the sunset sharing a bottle of Patron with two straws because germs are icky, ya’ll.   At the biker camp, the crew is celebrating.  Except for Jax who is angsting with his knock-off bottle of Jack Daniels.  Here comes yet another Jax/Clay confrontation that ends in Clay threatening to kill Hamlet Jax if he ever brings up the Donna debacle again.  Ah, good family times. 

The WTF moment for Eureka:  Opie.  Seiously.  Opie is now going all bitchface on Jax and telling Clay that he is with him no matter what?  Seriously?   If you only knew the half of it, darlin’.   

Best action moment:  Well, that would be Piney backing the flat bed into the motel, the look on Tig's face as he sees it coming, and then the balls-out rescue scene.     

The get over yourself moment:  Tara asking Chief Unser what he makes of her relationship with Jax.  Seriously?  She needs validation from the corrupt cop?