Sons of Anarchy, Season 3, Episode 5, Turning and Turning Recap

Previously on Sons of Anarchy As the Harley Rumbles, Jax was a shit, Gemma FINALLY found out about Abel, and Piney was awesome. During Turning and Turning, things certainly didn't get any better for anyone in or connected to SAMCRO.

I don't know about ya'll but this season fills me with a sense of uneasiness. With every episode and every plot point, I feel a growing sense of uncertainty for the characters that I love and what terrible thing might happen to them in every scene. And I'm okay with it. Although, it does make me feel like an idiot to have gotten so excited all day Tuesday only to feel like my heart has been ripped out at 11:00 pm that night. Why is Sons of Anarchy shaping up the way it has? I've boiled it down to this: either Kurt Sutter wants us to feel the same uncertainty that the characters are feeling or he wants to see if we'll follow the characters into the abyss of violence, anger and manipulation to see what things look like on the other side. Either way, I'm in. Now, on to the recap! In many ways, Turning and Turning was all about secrets--keeping secrets, revealing secrets, and creating new secrets.

We open at St. Rednecks where Gemma is recovering from her not-heart attack while simultaneously in custody because of her not-surrender to the ATF. And wouldn't you know it, the Beautiful Queen of Bikers is pissed that everyone lied to her about The Kid for trying to protect themselves from her wrath. But now that everyone finally knows that Sweet Baby Abel is in Belfast thank God because that only took 5 bloody episodes, what stones might get unturned when Jax shows up? Gemma and Clay looked more than concerned, didn't they? What secret are the keeping from Jax? I'm guessing that Trinity will be the tip of the iceberg. 

Gemma and Tara have a moment and it's not a happy one nor is it badass. It's painful and cruel. The first time I watched it, I thought OMFGWTF how could Gemma do that to Tara. But, when I watched the scene a second time, I read Gemma's "Nothing you could have done about that? What if it was your baby? Your flesh and blood?" as cruel, yes but also coming from a deep well of pain that Gemma has from being away from her family and being lied to. Perhaps in their closeness, Gemma felt that she could lash out at Tara because the good doctor is in it for the long haul. After all, Gemma did say that Tara being pregnant was good for now but didn't elaborate because she couldn't influence Jax chained to a hospital bed. (Ut-oh. I think I'm a Gemma apologist.) 

I think when Tara broke down and started crying, Gemma knew why she didn't take a bullet or do more to stop old Cammie Hayes. Pregnant. Yeap. Pregnant. Tara isn't going to be able to keep that secret for very long, is she? I can't really decided whether Tara got herself knocked up on purpose or not. Condoms break and the pill is only 99% effective. However, Tara is a smart girl so she knows the formula for getting pregnant (knocked up = ovulation + hot sexy times with jax - birth control). I'm not convinced either way. What about ya'll? There's a poll up at the top right hand side of the page, now go cast your vote.  

Yay! Finally! Juice gets some screen time...
only to get his cut stolen and the shit beat out of him.

Meanwhile, Bobby-Elvis, Juice, Tig go out to sell their accumulated roids at Lumpy's Boxing Club where there seems to be some crafty developer at work buying up old parcels so he can put in a Pottery Barn, Starbucks, Williams Sonoma, and Banana Republic. Things are not good, yo. The enemy is battering the walls of Castle Elsinore. And then shit gets worse when the boys go to sell Adderall to the Chicken Man when Juice gets jacked by the Calaveras. (Psssst. Hey, hook a sister up and sell that it me! It's a performance enhancing drug in academia. I shit you not.)

At least the picture of Chuckie is nice. He looks happy, no?

Their solution? Infiltrate Mayan Janatorial Supply/Meth Cuttery of Doom with the help of Chuckie. Yay! I love Chuckie but why did he have to get beaten up in the process? I prefer my Chuckie happy and serving coffee and banana bread at the Crow's Nest. Or masturbating in front of customers at Teller-Morrow Automotive. Anyways, the Mayans are building up resources and facilities to run their dugs in right through Charming. Not. Good. Not good at all.

Finally, over at ATF Bitchface's bland condo, Jax shows up with a present and a deal. He wants reduced gun charges for SAMCRO, a walk for Gemma, and The Kid back in exchange for his delivery of Jimmy O and his signed statement about Jimmy's involvement in the gun trade. I never knew snitch would suit Jax so well. And I mean that in the nicest way possible. I mean, what could go wrong when you rat out a business partner, all the while keeping it a secret from your Outlaw MC? I mean, there is nothing that could possibly go wrong with that deal. Because Sons of Anarchy never plays up the consequences of its characters bad decisions. Nope. Never, ever, ever.

The thing is that Jax doesn't have very many options outside of striking this deal with Agent Bitchface. She's got Gemma cowed in a hospital bed, ready to cut a deal. The Sons are set to go away to jail for a while. And that's not to say that they won't go to jail anyways because they will. Sometimes the devil you know, is better than the devil you don't and Jax is trying to make the best of the situation. And the situation is dire. Shit just keeps getting worse and worse (see above: my growing uneasiness) Is this the right decision? Only time will tell. But whatever happens, you can bet that it's going to land on Jax -- good or bad. 

Bits and Pieces

• Stahl's line, "Hey, I'm in the room kids." was great. 
• "Who's Maureen Ashby?" asked Jax. Darlin, you better sit your ass down for what's about to come next. 
• I loved the way Clay cock blocked Unser when he came to pay Gemma a visit at the hospital. (Side note: it's a proud day when you need to search the Urban Dictionary to find out if it is cock block or cockblock)   
• Trinity is a brat. Must run in the family.
• Clay holding the mirror while Gemma plucks her eyebrows. As if we needed any more confirmation of who wears the pants in that relationship.
• How much sugar did Jax put in that cup of coffee? I was expecting the stir stick to stand straight up when he put it in the cup.
• I really want to see Chibs cut Jimmy O from ear to ear. Wouldn't that be poetic justice?
• Tara's request for a leave was denied. I am so loving what they are doing with Hospital Administrator Bitchface that I might have to make up a new nickname for her.
• What did Jax do with Luke's driver? Wouldn't he sound the alarm to Jimmy O in Belfast?
• CAN WE PLEASE JUST GO TO BELFAST ALREADY AND GET SWEET BABY ABEL?

As usual, the photos are from Bobby Elivs' Bake Sale so thanks to @amonmich for the images. 

Also, also: don't forget to vote in the Did Tara Get Pregnant on Purpose Poll at the top, right side of the page.

Recap: Sons of Anarchy, Episode 3.01, SO

Well, I certainly didn't see that coming. Sweet baby Abel, I've been trying to wrap my brain around the closing scene of the premiere of Sons of Anarchy all day long. Let's put a pin in that for a hot minute. I'll start my recap of Sons of Anarchy, Episode 3.01, entitled SO, just as soon as I'm done clipping my acrylic nails over an old newspaper.  

Needless to say, there are spoilers abound... 

Sons of Anarchy often deals with the consequences of the choices that its characters make and SO was no exception to that overarching theme. In the season premiere, we saw the consequences play themselves out in terms of the loneliness of our favorite characters, the disarray of SAMCRO after The Kid was abducted, and the violence the Sons family was subjected to during the drive-by.

Photo Courtesy of Bobby Elvis' Bake Sale

First, loneliness and isolation separated Jax, Tara, Gemma from each other and the club--both physically and emotionally. Hell, even Piney was lonely--he misses John Teller. Like a lot ya'll. Jax is in isolation in The Kid's nursery, cut off from Tara, his mother, and the MC. I nearly cried when Opie pried him off the floor (no really, it was as if Jax's ass had grown roots into the carpet) and carried him to the shower. The new Jax is limp and helpless until after the funeral. And isn't amazing how physically separate Jax is in this episode? He's on the dock by himself, crouching in the dirt by himself, and riding by himself. I think the only time we've seen Jax this alone is when he was spending quality time with Dead Daddy Teller's Burnt Book of Biker Wisdom. 

Meanwhile, rather than be consumed by her loneliness, Tara acts by awesomely trashing the joint in a fit of rage and tells ATF Bitchface that "I don't need a boy to handle my shit" (talk about living the WWGD principle). Completely motivated by the fear of losing Jax and her very serious life in Charming, Tara tells the Prince of Charming, "We don't know who we are until we're connected to someone else. We're just better human beings when we're with the person we're supposed to be with. I wasn't supposed to leave. I belong here." How's that for some heavy shit? And was it just me or was there some lingering doubt in Jax's eyes?

Meanwhile, meanwhile, what does Gemma do to escape her isolation in the sticks while being on the lam? She nearly cuts a guy's dick off while trying to steal his car... which she needed reading glasses to hot wire, of course. I mean what else would Gemma do? She's the valet, shit-head! To add insult to injury, she declares it's just a flesh wound. Paging the Black Knight.    

Second, SAMCRO is in disarray at the start of the episode. While the guys swarm Jax when they get a lead on Cameron Hayes, there is a certain awkwardness to their presence in the house. They ride funny and they seem undecided at the dock. Is it the situation? Is it seeing Jax completely undone? I don't know. But the only one who knows how to handle the situation is Clay and the value of his leadership (however flawed) becomes immediately apparent. He plays the outsider card and lays blame on Agent Bitchface for the death of Half-Sack, The Kid's abduction, and Gemma's run from the law. Clay reassures Tara. (WTF? I don't even know? Who is this Clay Morrow and what have you done with King Clueless? I love this Clay. LOVE HIM). Even better, he tells Stahl:

Anything happens to my grandson. Anything. And I promise you that I'm going to shove a gun barrell up that bony ass of yours and I'm going to blow that black heart out.

Clay pulled shit together most effectively when he told Jax to man up. Act now. You're going to find the kid. Make the hard decision to do something, regardless of The Kid's fate. Which leads me to... 

Third, the violence. And there was so much of it. I'm so sad to see Hale go. He really grew on me as a character and provided an interesting ethical dynamic for SAMCRO in Charming. I'm just going to trust Kurt Sutter that Hale's death will mean something, contribute to the forward momentum of the story. So in quick succession, Hale is killed while trying to stop the perpetrators of the drive-by after Half-Sack's funeral, Jax bashes in the skull of one of the shooters, and a kid is shot. The only sense I can make of it is this: no one is Charming is immune to the consequences of SAMCRO's outlaw choices. My working theory on who is responsible for the drive-by? The Mayans. They're going to want recompense for the highway showdown during the season 2 finale.    

Funny things, loose ends, and some questions:

• Chuckie lives another day to serve Bobby-Elivs' banana bread and coffee at the clubhouse!
• Damn, those boys can actually ride motorcycles. Loved the chase scene. 
• Fantastic close-up of John Teller's mug shot. Way to build in the mythology in a subtle way.
• Clay (to the forger): Thanks Mr. Magoo
• Tara and Jax mention what they did to Kohn. Twice. This has got to be foreshadowing. I wonder if finding Kohn's body is a way for Stahl to get her groove back?
• Charming votes Republican, just ask Hale's brother. BTW, did you catch those teeth? I guess I'm going to have to learn his name now. Or can I just call him Snaggle Tooth for the rest of the season? 
• Unser calls Gemma "our girl" when he's talking to Clay.
• Tig to caregiver: "My name is Tiggy." Uh... Tiggy? 
• Speaking of Tig... What's up with Kozik's desire to come back to Charming? 
• The super-top-secret code name for Gemma is "Love"
• What does Gemma read in the newspaper that makes her want to go home? I smell a rat....
• Cameron's old boat is named Dithreabhag which I think, loosely translated, means "He was here." Either that or it's something about double penetration. No, really.
• The hospital administrator is still lurking. Look out, Tara.  
• Half-Sack got patched in posthumously AND gets the SAMCRO coffin, which is always the tasteful choice for your internment needs. 
• The song playing during the opening montage of Sons of Anarchy SO is No Milk Today by Joshua James and The Forrest Rangers
• The song playing the at the end of SO is Dad's Gonna Kill Me by Richard Thompson 
• Jax leaves his SO ring on John Teller's grave while keeping the NS ring for himself. Did you know that the season 3 finale is titled NS? Get it SO (1) - NS (13)? Either Jax will be wearing both those rings at the end of the season or he'll wear neither of them.
• Jax. Naked. Shower. Again. But this time shot from above. I know you dirty bitches are out there trying to find screen cap of it for the spank bank.  So here you go....  Your picture of Jax naked in the shower. Sigh... this just makes me feel dirty

Photo Courtesy of Bobby Elvis' Bake Sale

What do ya'll think? I'm looking forward to seeing more of the supporting cast in the next episode. What did I miss? The comments section awaits....

All of the screen caps in this post are from Bobby Elivs' Bake Sale, a great site run by @amonmich. Go check out her excellent SOA caps and follow her on twitter while you're at it. 

Sons of Anarchy - Season 3 Promo Analysis

I've given the Sons of Anarchy Season 3 promo a few more viewings and have some semi-coherent thoughts about it, let me share them with you all three of my dear readers.  Here's an HQ copy of it for you re-viewing pleasure.  Analysis follows after the jump.



First, the centerpiece of the promo is the dialogue between Clay and Jax:

Clay:  We represent the past, present, and future of this club. These men behind us, they respect you and they understand your grief but they're also wondering what you're going to do with it. You gotta make the hard choice, son.

Jax:  And what choice would that be?

Choices indeed.  My guess is that Clay is counseling Jax on how to react to Able's abduction from a club perspective.  We see Jax sulking shirtless on the floor and getting peeled off said floor by Opie and Chibs.  Graveside sulking and nekkid shower sulking also ensue.  (Side note:  Not that I'm complaining but the Jax shower scenes are becoming a bit routine--a trope if you will.  A friend of mine coined the regular showing of Jax's backside as Jaxass)   That's Jax's reaction as a father.  Not as a MC Vice President.  I'm thinking that Clay is encouraging Jax to take action because he needs it, because the club needs a leader, and getting revenge serves the club and the family.  Also notice that as promised/forewarned things are all nicey nicey again with Clay and Jax.  At least for now.

Second, things aren't looking so hot for Jax and Tara but I suspect there is some editing trickery afoot.  The dialogue is The Prince of Charming telling Tara in Able's room that:

You gotta get out of here

This has to be the end.  

There is some kissy-face but Tara trashing the nursery as well.  My guess is that there will be some reconciliation if/when Able is retrieved because Jax needs a nighttime nanny and a warm bed.  However, like most things in the SAMCRO universe, it wouldn't be an uncomplicated reunion.

Third, Gemma. Oh, girl, how I've missed you!  Gemma beats the shit out of a blindfolded woman in a nightgown.  Gemma and Clay are reunited and it feels so good.  Gemma's in disguise in a drab olive cap that isn't fooling anyone.  She tells Tig that "I'm going whether you like it or not."  Going?  Going where? Is this why she needs to start a car with a pocket knife?  To Belfast perhaps. Or perhaps on the raid where we see Happy, Opie, and Jax chase some dude through a house...  which leads me to....

Fourth, all of the major action in the promo appears to revolve around a drive-by shooting (carried out by persons unknown) that seems to occur at a funeral home.  The Bolton Hall Museum is the stand-in for the funeral home.  Anywho...  The best that I can surmise is that there is a drive-by at Half-Sack's funeral, somehow SAMCRO gets a bead on who is responsible and raids the joint.  Raiding/pillaging/revenge scenes occur in a house with a disturbing  number of framed cat pictures and jars of chemicals. Piney, Happy, and Bobby-Elvis open fire on some bearded long-haired dude in a flannel.  This is the same dude who asks  Piney, "Why the hell are you doing this?"  And Piney, bless his heart, gets the best line when he retorts "Because we're the good guys."  It appears that this is the same place where Piney and Clay have words while Bobby-Elvis looks on with concern.  And, at least in my multiple sad fangirl viewings, it seems that the dude being chased by Happy, Opie, and Jax is the same unfortunate chap who is buried up to his mellon in the desert.  WHICH IS FUCKING BRILLIANT AND SICK.
 
Nuts and Bolts:

• Where the fuck is Juice?  For that matter, where the fuck is Tig?  Juice is missing from the entire promo--aside from black and white cut-in shots-- and Tig is only present in the scene with Gemma.  Anyone care to guess where they are?
• Possibly related:  in the opening sequence of SAMCRO riding out en masse from Teller-Morrow Automotive, the guys are not in their usual formation.  Clay is still riding point, but instead of Jax being behind and to Clay's left, BobbyElvis is there in the VP spot.  And instead of Tig being in his Sergeant-at-Arms spot behind and to the right of Clay, Opie is there.  Jax is missing.  Tig is further back in the pack.  It could mean something or it could mean nothing.  
• Happy appears to be wearing a Redwood Original patch on the front of his cut.  Nomad no more?
• Opie appears to have gotten a new hat AND a haircut.  He's going to need it to rescue Lyla from the blowjob-a-thon that seems to be getting underway.
• Jax and Opie appear to be hanging at a dock, don't they?
• There's a car chase through Charming.  Vintage black sedan but I don't think it's Tara's.  
• Jax chases some guy into the oncoming path of Lyla's Prius.  Huh? 

That is an embarrassingly long recap for a mere 60 seconds of footage.  Dear God, is it September 7th yet?  Also:  Season 3 is apparently going to set the reset button for Season 4.  Sweet Baby Able, I can't even think about that because it nearly sends me into a fangirl panic.  Also-also:  Yes, I have the WWGD t-shirt.  There's more to come on that.  Also-also-also:  Yes, I'm going to finish the questionnaires.  I promise.

Sons of Anarchy 2.13 Na Triobloidi Recap

Before the recap begins, let’s have a moment of silence to mark the passing of Half-Sack Sack Half-Sack. …….  We’ll remember you for the MILF chubby Gemma gave you, your boxing prowess, your ability to remove a deer from a BMW with a chainsaw, and your fortitude for cleaning up a toilet defiled by Piney at the club house.  Now, who wants the job of informing Cherry of the news? {…. crickets…}

Half_Sac Pic Source Here 

On with the recap of Na Triobloidi!  In which, Kurt Sutter cuts out my heart with a rusty grapefruit spoon and I am smiling the entire time.  Watching Na Triobloidi is sort of like reading Crime and Punishment. OMG I’m such an ass kisser.  I just compared Sons of Anarchy to Crime and Punishment. WTF?  You know it is really, really good.  Brilliant, in fact.  But at the end you feel like the dog that got drug behind the car in National Lampoon’s Vacation.  Just without the whole being dead part.  And this is not to say that I am bitching and moaning.  Not. At. All.  I have a huge amount of respect for any show/book/movie  that can create amazing characters that you care deeply and then put them through these awful ordeals so we can see how they make it through.  To do anything less is cheating.  This is why I don’t watch CBS.      

Okay, before I digress any further…  The finale of Sons of Anarchy opens up with three rats eating away at a crow set to the tune of Burn This Town by Battleme you can get it here.  In my mind, the rats are the Principal Zobelle and affiliates, the ATF Bitch, and the Irish. The thing about all three of these rats eating away at SAMCRO is that they are all interrelated.  They aren’t isolated to one particular thing.  Zobelle was in bed with the Feds and the Irish.  The ATF was in bed with the Irish trying to get Zobelle.  They all picked over SAMCRO’s carcass while the boys were fighting amongst themselves about whether Clay or Jax had the bigger dick.  By my scorecard that leaves us with:  The World 1, SAMCRO 0.    

Rat Photo from @high_score 

Was anyone actually surprised that Zobelle was in cahoots with the FBI?  He has been walking around like his shit doesn’t stink all season long.  He had the trump card in his pocket the entire time but it proved ineffective by the way SAMCRO swiftly removed his layers of insulation.  And OMFG what an amazing sequence of the Sons going to war, Unser’s truck opening up with Piney yelling Ye-Haw! and then opening fire.  It was brazen and satisfying.  However, Zobelle still slipped away.  That’s okay, Budapest can have him.  It will give him a nice place to adapt and adjust.  Really, Budapest is incredibly nice even though Zobelle really deserves a cave in Kandahar.  Zobelle’s escape is Darwin’s theory of evolution at work.  The strong survive.  The weak are shot to death on the shitter in a tattoo parlor.  You know, like Westin was.  A quick question:  who, when about to disappear gets their kid out of child services to go get some more ink?  Like, has Westin ever heard of getting an ice cream cone?  Jax does the deed.  Happy is proud (which gives me the creepers) and Jax seems less than satisfied.  Maybe he built it up in his head too much?  Maybe doing bad things doesn’t feel so good?

ATF Bitch.  (Sigh)  This is the second time this season where someone has been given the chance to off her and hasn’t.  Let’s face it.  She is a bad cop but a smart bitch.  Hale, who got all righteous about saying that he is a cop who is actually bound by the law but he also turned Zobelle out so I don’t think he’s going to qualify for law enforcement sainthood anytime soon.   Anywhoo…  ATF Bitch sets up Eddie the Weasel and then kills him when he tries to run away.  When Gemma offs Polly, motivated because God put the girl in her path to kill (um, paging megalomania and delusions of grandeur) ATF Bitch puts both killings on Gemma.  Once again we see ATF Bitch acting the way a president of an MC would.  I don’t really think we can consider the ATF as anything but another gang—unless Stahl is replaced.  So you’ve had two murders pinned on your, WWGD?  Go on the lam with Unser, of course.  I kinda like the thought of Gemma and Unser on the run in a police cruiser.  Warm and fuzzy, yes.  Inconspicuous, not exactly.

 Finally, the Irish.  Cameron Hayes mistakenly thinks that Gemma has killed Eddie the Weasel (oh yeah, we have you to thank for that too Stahl).  In a gut-wrenching sequence, he kills Half-Sack, terrifies Tara, and makes off with Able.  A son for a son.  Good lord.  I get why he was crying—holding that baby boy probably made him think of his own son as an infant and all that has been lost.  People do crazy shit when they are grief-stricken and can blame someone.  You know, like kidnapping a baby.  Jax’s baby.   Yeah, that’s gonna end well for Cameron.  Season 3, here we come!  You know in like 9 months. 

Loose Ends

• Luanne’s murder hasn’t been dealt with yet and Georgie Caruso is at large prowling the red light district in Bangkok for talent
• Whatever happened to those outstanding gun charges from the raid on the dinner of the faithful?
• Um.  So what the fuck happened to Darby
• Tara tried to talk Gemma out of killing Polly.  Pot, Kettle, meet Black. 
• Opie seems to have traded up for a bandana. 
• SAMCRO is all about family.  Too bad their antagonists aren’t. 
• My only minor complaint:  there was no humor in this episode.  It was all heavy.  It needed just one little scene with Juice.  Just one. 
• Oh, and last but not least Otto got his revenge.  But man, he is never, ever going to sit at the table in Church again.   Maybe at his wake.  

Sons of Anarchy 2.11 Service Recap

Uh…  Greetings new readers!  After the Twitter Incident Of Which We Will Not Speak, I have some newfound performance anxiety so I’m going to imagine that you all are in your underwear like my mom told me to do at my 4^th grade tap recital.  I still fucked up my shuffle-ball-change, bringing a hasty and merciful end to my career as a tap dancer.  So, for all of our sakes, let’s hope this recap at least goes better than that.

So previously on As the Harley Rumbles, Gemma revealed her big secret, Opie took off his stinky hat and got some, Chibs was released from the hospital and reunited with those friendly IRA guys, and Jax didn’t go Nomad.  Service opens up right where we left off with Jax sewing his patches back on (Has anyone ever tried to sew leather?  I have and it is quite difficult).  In my mind, Service was all about our favorite characters hugging it out.  Outlaw bikers = HUGS NOT THUGS.   That may be a bit over the top but not by much.  We saw SAMCRO and associates in service to each other (yes, I know that sounds dirty) and the result was bringing the MC together again. 

At Church, the boys in SAMCRO resist the urge to cut the still beating hearts out of Principal Zobelle and crew in favor of being a bit smarter about serving up revenge.  In this whole exchange we get a glimmer of how the MC should work when Clay and Jax are on the same page and SAMCRO is in once piece.  And it is brilliant.  Under those best-case scenario circumstances, you can totally see why all these guy would pledge themselves to the club.  The tragedy of Sons of Anarchy is that we are given these glimpses of how well the MC can work together but we all know that this harmony isn’t going to last for long.

 While the MC is strong and unified, Gemma is now completely unraveled after revealing that she was raped.  I don’t blame her.  I’d probably be smoking a joint in yesterday’s clothes and having almost-sex with Tig too.  WAIT.  WHAT.  Oh right, because when you put two wounded, unhinged people together that kind of makes sense in a sick/hurt/lonely way.  They stop things before it gets any more cringe-worthy but it causes Gemma and Tig to do some pretty fascinating things to deal with their hurt.  Gemma shares a smoke in a churchyard with a reformed junkie priest contemplating going to a woe-is-me-circle-jerk. 

In a somewhat less reflective but more penitent way, Tig decides it’s time.  Time to tell Opie.  Thank, God because he shot Donna like 12 episodes ago.  When Opie listens to Tig asking questions about the night Donna was killed, we see a wave of realization cross his face and it ain’t a warm happy look.  Tig lets Opie beat the shit out of him who are you and what have you done with my favorite sociopath? And I can’t help thinking that those rings have got to hurt.  Tig puts it all on ATF Bitch and once the fight is broke up, off Opie goes to kill her ass or just scare her.  Meanwhile, all the members of the MC look at Clay with deserved disgust.   

   So Opie and Agent Bitchface.  Is it any surprise that Opie showed her more mercy than she deserved?  Time and time again, we have seen her manipulate people, using the vulnerabilities of their families as leverage.  All of this while using her ATF windbreaker to insulate her from the consequences.  Josef Mengela could have taught this woman something about ethics and she’d be a better human being.  If she were in a gang, she would have been dead, dead, dead a long time ago.  (Btw, this scene was so well performed by Ryan Hurst and Ally Walker.)

Meanwhile, once Opie gets cleaned up, he and Jax hug it out after realizing that they are responsible for Clay’s skewed approach to running the club —and they will be his undoing paging season 3.  Jax gives Opie Dead Daddy Teller’s Burnt Book of Biker Wisdom. And Opie reads it.  Without the hat of dirty scalp stank.  

Somewhere in all of this mix, Tara has diarrhea of the mouth and blurts out:  IGOTSUSPENED—IMSOONOTINTOYOUSCREWINGOTHERGIRLSONTHESIDE—WHEREISTHISGOING—IWANTTOGETMARRIED—ANDIWANTBABIES—BAAAABBIIIEEESSS!   And then Jax and Tara hug it out.  I really have to hand it to the writers on this.  They nailed us ladies.  Or at least some of us.  We get emotionally overwhelmed and it all comes out in one long, gasping, poorly-timed, uncomfortable declaration. 

Oh, and Tara fixes Tig's face while Tig slimily charms her about the scuffle with a brother.  (Welcome back, you creepy fuck.   I’ve missed you.)  While Tig is cleaning himself up, Half-Sack drops trou before Tara can protest, revealing his horrifically infected testicles (mark my words, if SOA was HBO we would have seen it).  Holy Mary, Mother of Ball.  I guess it was all that bacteria in the Healing Mud Bath that made it coarm.  Something tells me that Sack will be Half-Sack yet again. Let’s just hope he doesn’t become No-Sack. 

We wrap up with Chibs doing the right thing and coming clean about his deal-gone-wrong with ATF Bitch.  I watched the scene with Gemma and Chibs like 5 times.  It was just that good.  Under Opie’s withering glare, Clay absolves Chibs and resolves that SAMCRO will protect him and his family.  Opie is going to stick around because even though the club killed his wife but really wanted to kill him wtf is this not even going to be addressed he is going to make sure they make it right starting with Chibs and Piney.

 

Remainders

• Um.  Where are Chucky and Darby?  I mean, I think that Zobelle and crew know why they haven’t seen Darby but none of the Sons have asked about Chucky.
• Amazed and shocked that Clay recognizes that he can't deliver retaliation without Jax.
  
• I’m not quite ready yet to declare Piney out of the suicide woods.  I wonder if that whole shoot-em-up was really more of an attempt at a suicide by cop biker.  
• I didn’t even get to Unser turning Hale into Acting Chief or Principal Zobelle’s master plan.

Note on the Tig photo above.  I got it from ONTD but I can't figure out how to give the right person credit for it.  If someone knows, or could put me in touch with the ONTD/SAMCRO people I would very much like to provide attribution.

Sons of Anarchy 2.10 Balm Recap

(Note to self for future reference:  DO NOT, under any circumstances watch Glee before writing a recap ever again.  It makes you too fucking happy to snark).        

Previously on As the Harley Rumbles , our favorite residents of Charming were laying down their burdens—whether it was a gang rape, an ongoing MC power struggle, or remorse/guilt over the death of an old lady.  With those burdens set aside, Balm begins a healing for SAMCRO:  for Gemma, for Clay and Jax, for Opie, for Half-Sack, and perhaps for Tig.  Chibs—not so much.   And can I just say, how much I love Sons of Anarchy?  Every episode is fantastic because none of them fell like a throwaway.   Unlike another show I fangirl watch on HBO where there seem to be one or two throwaways per season.  Anyways….

So we open with Jax deciding to go nomad and telling no one aside from the members of the MC.  I suspect he knows it is a bad idea and is keen on how Tara and Queen Gertrude/Lady Macbeth Gemma will react to the news.  As Piney so aptly puts it, this decision is all about Jax reacting to the situation, not solving the problem of SAMCRO.  I think the Prince of Charming realizes it as the episode goes on but is either too proud or too conflicted to share his misgivings with anyone.  Everyone except for Clay gives him the opportunity to get out of the decision:  Piney, Opie, Bobby Elvis, and Juice (Juice nearly broke my heart with that family and hometown take a back row speech.  Even though he still had blood in his stool.  Uh, TMI dude.)  Hell, even Dead Daddy Teller’s Book of Biker Wisdom gives him an out when the disembodied ghost/voice said:

I found myself lost in my own club.  I trusted few.  Feared most.  Nomad offered escape and exile.  I didn’t know if leaving would cure or kill this thing we created.  I didn’t know if it was an act of strength or cowardice.  I didn’t know so I stayed.  I stayed because in the end because the only way I could hold this up was to suffer under the weight of it.

            While Jax is dealing the crazy ATF Bitch at his house who, mark my words will find Kohn’s body eventually, getting Piney into the shower, and getting Chibs out of the hospital, Clay is securing a pipeline for unmarked bullets from his new pal Ferdinand on the reservation.  Clay says "Oh, and BTW, Half-Sack eat this shroom and trip your ball and neuticle off in the Healing Mud Bath in fact maybe a good massage will make the bozack swelling go down some while Opie and I get confused about who Jax’s father is."  I’m no fan of Clay but I’ll give him this:  if SAMCRO is going to stay in the gun trade, this bullet and shroom deal was a savvy business decision, much like the deal he struck with Oswald.  And, OMG Clay isn’t wearing his sunglasses in this episode, or at least not as much as he usually does.  This has to be significant in some way.  I’m just not sure which way. 

            So meanwhile, meanwhile, meanwhile, Chibs gets out of the hospital whereupon learning that Caracara has been torched and Jax is going Nomad, he pays a visit to our IRA pals and with guns drawn we finally meet Jimmy O.  (Incredibly well played by Titus Welliver.  And he does a good accent too, although too much Dublin and too little Belfast, but that is being nitpicky.)  Jimmy O’Fallon fits in so well with the rest of the Sons of Anarchy villains—Principal Zobelle, ATF Bitch, and Agent Kohn—that it is no surprise that he creeps the fuck out of me.   He excommunicated Chibs from the IRA, took his wife and daughter and only left him with those nasty Joker scars in return.  Not to mention that he is threatening to have sex with Chibs’ daughter if he doesn’t cooperate in setting up a meeting with Clay.  No wonder Chibs is seething with anger and frustration.  Unfortunately that leads him to sell out the IRA to ATF Bitch.  This is not going to end well. 

            Oh hey before I forget!  Opie gets laid!   You know, on the floor because his marriage bed is problematic.  And… um….when did Opie get hot?  Oh right, it was the moment he took of that fucking hat.  Every time I see that hat I think it must smell.  Like sweat and funk and dirty hair.  And now that you’ve read this, you’ll think the same thing too.  You can thank me later—it’s a gift that keeps on giving. 

            I’d be remiss if I left out Tig and his own form of psychotropic healing out on the reservation.   Oh, dearest Tig.  You are tripping balls and saying Mass over the Native American handicrafts, replete with that lip lick/purse that is so fucking creepy/hilarious but is the same thing I do when I have my Dunkin Donuts coffee in the mornings.  And then…  did Tig anthropomorphize a doll…  thinking it was Donna or maybe Opie… and then apologize to it?   

            Now, on to Gemma.  I’m not the first to say it but I’m happy to add my voice to the chorus.  If Katey Sagal doesn’t get an Emmy, there will be blood.  Just. An. Amazing.  Performance.  The look on her face when she sees Clay tell Jax that he wants him to go Nomad was amazing.  I didn’t know you could convey fear, overwhelming sadness, loss, and frustration in one facial expression but darlin’ she did it.   Gemma tells Clay and Jax about the gang rape with Tara’s support, leaving out no detail.  In this moment we see the family come together—the only thing that Gemma believes in come together for her in the end.  I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again.  Gemma is the glue, it isn’t the MC.  (And, I swear, hand to God, that I was crying both times I watched this.  Maybe I’m a sucker or maybe I just primed the pump by watching soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan be reunited with their dogs.)  And we close with Jax taking his patches back.  THANK GOD.  THAT NOMAD SHIT WAS A BAD IDEA.  BTW, WHEN CAN WE SEE YOUR FINE ASS AGAIN?  Gemma healed Clay and Jax for now.  Let’s see how long it lasts. 

Remainders

• Tara is suspended from the hospital thanks to Hospital Admin Bitchface.
• Nooooooooooo, Piney! Nooooooooo!   Don’t do it!
• Sing along if you know the words:  ATF Bitch tells the weasel/smarmy IRA guy that she’ll spread a rumor that he is a rat and see how it plays out.  Paging Opie….
• I'm not believing Gemma's claim that John Teller offed himself.  
• ETA:  @Twisted_Shadow reminded me about Chucky the masturbator.  My theory:  he pulled Darby out of the fire and they are hiding out.  

Let’s roll out this time on the song at the end of the episode:  Mary by Patty Griffin.  It is lovely.  My favorite lyric: "You’re covered in treetops; You’re covered in birds, Who can sing a million songs, without any words."  There are a few versions out there on the interwebs and I’m partial to the version with Emmylou Harris and Shawn Colvin singing back up but this version has better sound quality doesn’t make me nauseated.