True Blood Recap, 3.05 Trouble

Here comes my recap of all things Good, Bad, and Ugly from True Blood, Trouble, just as soon as I'm back from dinner at the Shoney's in Vicksburg with Franklin Mott...  errr..... scratch that.  Just as soon as I'm done discussing Japanese vampire erotica from the 16th Century with Eric. (Photo from Sookie is Mine!)

    

The Good

• Lafayette and Jesus courting:  the writers and the actors really hit their respective marks in conveying the terribly sweet self-consciousness of the time before a first date and first kiss.  And don't you know our boy Lafayette deserves the love too? 
• Jessica glamouring customers so Arlene doesn't get any tips.  Side note: the chemistry between Jessica and Tommy might be his one saving grace.    
• Eric as a viking!  But what would you bet that the crown Eric saw amongst the accumulated tchotchkes of Russell's pillaging was there on purpose?  
• The trap that Russell Edgington set for Bill.  Or should I say his experiment to see if the confrontation could evoke Sookie's magic fingers?
• The whole Russell-Bill-Eric triangle of mutual treachery and scheming. None of these guys trust each other, they all have ulterior motives and it is FANTASTIC! 
• Everything about Franklin Mott.  Everything.  Calling Talbot the cleaning lady, the vampire texting motherfucker, the aforementioned dinner at Shoney's, taking out a church group at the slots in Biloxi because they wouldn't let him have a chance, needing a financial trust, and any time having "a talk" results in him waking up from a blackout with body parts around him.  I love everything about him because he is fucking nuts and James Frain plays him with such zeal.  It's too bad it comes at a high price for Tara (more on that in the Ugly section). 
• Crystal doesn't have a telephone or a bra  but at least she is smarter than Jason.  Let's just hope that Jason gets a piece so he can stop with the wanna-be sheriff shenanigans.  Ryan Kwanten was pretty endearing as Jason.  I just wish the he had better material.    
• Jeebus!  I think we got our first "Suuuuukkeeeehhh" of the season and this was the 5th episode.    

The Bad

• Sookie and Alcide's chemistry.  I'm just not feeling it.  
• Ha-ha.  Jason with ink on his face and paperclip limbo.  I get it.  He is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.   I got it in Season 1.  Make his character do or be something interesting, otherwise why waste precious time repeating old tropes?  Also:  Jason and Andy are bo-ring.    
• Colonel Flood is a scardey cat dog.  
• Kenya, Kevin and red mulch?  Have I ever told you that I my "No Wire Hangers" equivalent is red mulch?   
• Lorena strolling in with the stripper's glittery bra in hand.  
• I just don't give a shit about Sam or his long lost redneck white trashy family. But at least Joe Lee is WEARING PANTS CONSISTENTLY. 

The Ugly

• Tara.  Tara.  Tara.  Let me preface this with saying that I think Rutina Wesley does an amazing job with what she is given.  But let's face it, the writers keep handing her huge piles of shit every episode.  What in the holy hell happened to Season 1 Tara?  You know, the smart fiery girl who was Sookie's BFF and didn't take shit from anyone?  Her character been twisted AGAIN to be some pawn at the whim of what ever supernatural special guest star creature that happens to be cast introduced each season.  The writers have stripped a female character of any semblance of agency she had left.  Having the character who complained about being named after a plantation actually run across a plantation trying to escape while being chased by dogs wolves is beyond reproach.
• Spoiler alert for people who haven't read the books.  I'm about to reveal some serious plot points from the books.  I am so over the whole "True Blood is done in the spirit of the books" line of bullshit.  For me, there are certain things that need to happen and one of them is NOT the softer, gentler let down of Bill.  In the books Bill might have been kidnapped and tortured, but he also did some pretty despicable things -- yeah, I'm talking about the trunk scene.  Yes, Sookie needs to rescue Bill but she also needs to unequivocally reject him.  And Sookie needs to stake Lorena.  Seriously -- I need the "I killed her ass" moment.  This is the only way to open up the door for Sookie's character to grow.  With Eric.  I swear, hand to God, if there is one more fakey-fakey dream scene of the two of them making out, you will hear my screams of frustration.   And if there is some Sookie and Bill reconciliation at the end of this season, I might just have to break up with this show completely.  Maybe.