Golden Globes = Epic Fail

We were robbed!  Robbed, I tell you!  Who the fuck do these Hollywood Foreign Press Association people think they are?  Yeah, I totally, just did that.  So Sons of Anarchy walks away with no Golden Globe nominations.  Like for anything.  Not even for Katey Sagal.  If there was one nomination that was a lock, it was Katey Sagal's portrayal of Gemma Teller, right?  Well, apparently not so much.  And the fandom rang out in anguish this morning when the news broke.  The Twitter tag for #sonsofanarchywererobbed was instantly created.  I swear, hand to God, that a riot will break out on Twitter if this happens again with the Emmys.  Let me point out that we aren't alone in our thinking that we were robbed. Who knows, maybe even an actual riot might break out at the ceremony.  You never know.  I'll be the first to don my Che Guevara hat and with fist raised in the air, cry out Viva la Revolucion!    

I will say that the category for Best Drama was pretty competitive but amongst the nominees (Big Love, Dexter, House, Mad Men, and True Blood) I can't help thinking that SOA was superior to each of them in some way. Big Love - Jesus, I don't even remember when that was on to say whether it was any good or not. I vaguely remember thinking that it was but who the hell knows.  Something about secretive polygamous Mormons.  Dexter is fabulous - some tough competition.  House - I have no idea because I don't watch it.  Mad Men - the gorgeous show where nothing happens but I really like looking at John Hamm....  mmmm John Hamm.  And True Blood, which I adore but come on, a maenad, seriously?  Even I got tired of it by halfway through the season.  My point is that it isn't like these shows were so far superior to Sons of Anarchy that it would have been out of place.

Now, on to the Best Actress category.  And the nominees were:  Glenn Close, January Jones, Juliana Margulies, Anna Paquin, and Kyra Sedgewick.  I'm gonna exclude Glenn Close and Anna Paquin from the following statement because I think that they both deserve the nomination.  Here goes:  those bitches don't deserve the nomination.  Like at all.  Katey Sagal acted the hell out of her role this season.  She did fucking laps around Jones, Margulies, and Sedgewick.  Sorry ladies, but it is the truth.  And btw, The Good Wife is a fucking terrible piece of soap opera trash.  The Closer, I like in a turn you brain off and be predictably entertained sort of way.

Now, before I start riling up the teeming masses of angry Sons of Anarchy fans let's not forget that the Golden Globes isn't taken completely seriously.  Really.  I mean, they gave Pia Zadora an award for Able's sake.

Besides, there is always the Emmys.
OH GOD, HELP US ALL IF SOA AND KATEY AREN'T NOMINATED
 

Sons of Anarchy Holiday Gift-Buying Guide

Ready for the holidays?  Yeah, me neither.  Well to help you along the way to SOA-inspired gift giving, here is a list of gift ideas for every type of SAMCRO fan that I could come up with under the sun.  

For the Outdorsy Sons of Anarchy Fan

• Do you know a SOA fan that enjoys vehicular deer hunting?  Well then, the idea gift would be a chainsaw to remove the deer from the loved one’s windshield.  Just like Half-Sack did.  For your sake, the person cutting up rough venison steaks isn’t a vegetarian.  Alternative use:  clearing timber at your secret gun assembly warehouse.  
• While you’re out clearing timber, you’ll want to stay warm so make sure to tell your loved ones that you’ll need a few flannels like Jax wears to stay warm.  

For the Style-Conscious Sons of Anarchy Fan

• Gemma’s sunglasses, a source of my lusty desire are always an option.  
• But don’t forget that Tara also rocks a sweet pair of shades.  
• If your SOA fashonista would like to make a more overt sartorial gesture, you can always pick up Gemma’s leather jacket.
• And, the fashionista in your life is more of a Lyla or Ima, there is always the porn star lingerie option.  They even have the shoes. 

For the Boys Who Want to Be Jax and Opie When They Grow Up

• Opie’s hat is a no-brainer.
• Want to polish up his look a bit?  How about Jax’s white sneaks.
• Started rocking the beard?  Well, be sure to get your SOA fan one of these beard trimmers.
• Like the hard-core rings the guys wear?  Well, you’re in luck.  Also, Bill Lenz has also offered to make custom WWGD pieces for the ladies.  

For the Homebody Sons of Anarchy Fan

• A redwood table is essential.
• Once the meetings of your Wild Hogs MC are over, you’re gonna need a place to toss back a few cold ones.
• And your own personal Crow’s Nest would not be complete without a stripper pole.

For the Pensive Sons of Anarchy Fan

• A typewriter on which to write the angry manifesto/MC love letter of your dreams
• A leather-bound journal.  Reaper embossing not included.

Sons of Anarchy Stocking Stuffers

• Bobby Elvis' Elvis sunglasses
• Not ready to commit to the ink?  Well, perhaps some temporary tattoos will make your holiday bright.
•  SOA Season 1 on Blue Ray
• A copy of Hamlet

And how could I leave out a skateboard, replete with reaper skulls on it?

Happy Holidays, Fans of Anarchy!  Happy Shopping!

Sons of Anarchy, Season 2 Postmortem

A quick programming note.  I'm going to take a brief hiatus so I can wrap up my own writing before the end of the year.  And I have been summoned for jury duty - God help the poor bastard if I get selected from the pool.  Maybe I'll live tweet the waiting room if it is an entertaining freakshow.   We'll see.  


This also crossed my radar.  I'm not entirely sure what to make if it.  Werewolf bikers WTF? If it turns out to be a major plot element in Season 3 of True Blood, I might blog about it.  Nine months is a very long time so if anyone is interested in writing a guest post that is SOA, motorcycles, or outlaw culture related, send me an email at kayteadee at gmail dot com.


Okay, on with the show...        


Here is your handy-dandy round up of reviews, interviews and musings related to the finale of Sons of Anarchy Season 2, Na Triobloidi.  There have been a lot of interviews with Kurt Sutter as the season wrapped.  For starters, Maureen Ryan conducted an amazing and extensive interview with Kurt Sutter about Season 2 and ideas for Season 3.  As did Alan Sepinwall also held a post-finale interview - you can read it here.  There was a podcast interview with Mr. Sutter done by Tim Goodman that is quite good if not the best audio quality.  TV Guide also did an interview with K-Sut.  And, perhaps in the oddest fit, hustle on over to The Wall Street Journal for another interview.  Finally, in case you missed the Fancast interview with Sutter and Charlie Hunnam, you can read a transcript of it here.

There have been a lot of reviews of Na Triobloidi, a list of the major ones is as follows:

• Allan Sepinwall's review, titled "Sons of Anarchy, Na Triobloidi:  From Able to Zobelle" 
• Cinema Blend was less than satisfied but still enjoyed the episode.
• Buzz Focus had a favorable review 
• TV Squad's nail biter review.  
• Buddy TV's review they also do a nice round up of the best moments from Season 2
• Monsters and Critics review.
• Ken Tucker's mixed review.  
• Check out what the Watchers of Anarchy have to say about the finale over on their podcast.
• Also, listen to Angela and The CrowBlogger's reaction to Na Triobloidi over at the SAMCRO podcast.    

Interested in the book on tape that Otto was listening to just before he got revenge on the white supremacist?  Well, thanks to some excellent research from Jersey Girl, it is from The Dublin Review, 1886, Third Series, Volume 16, page 19.  You can find it here in Google Books and the text can be copied here.  Here is the quote:

Intellect throws each  man back upon himself, into a solitude from which he looks out with absolutely strange eyes on society. And if the spectacle touches him, if it rouses interest and compassion, his feeling will be for those tender ones of the great human flock whom the shepherds shear, and starve, and sell, but do not feed.

Imperfect education makes the rank and file of revolutionists; but from time to time a leader steps down to them out of the highest circles a Mirabeau, a Rochefort, a Prince Krapotkine. The desire of the sons of anarchy is, indeed, to dispense with leaders ; for since all men in the formula are equal, it is un-reasonable that one should lead rather than another.

And last but not least, here is a Twitter brief written by K-Sut about reaction to Na Triobloidi and the major plot points in the episode.  

Sons of Anarchy 2.13 Na Triobloidi Recap

Before the recap begins, let’s have a moment of silence to mark the passing of Half-Sack Sack Half-Sack. …….  We’ll remember you for the MILF chubby Gemma gave you, your boxing prowess, your ability to remove a deer from a BMW with a chainsaw, and your fortitude for cleaning up a toilet defiled by Piney at the club house.  Now, who wants the job of informing Cherry of the news? {…. crickets…}

Half_Sac Pic Source Here 

On with the recap of Na Triobloidi!  In which, Kurt Sutter cuts out my heart with a rusty grapefruit spoon and I am smiling the entire time.  Watching Na Triobloidi is sort of like reading Crime and Punishment. OMG I’m such an ass kisser.  I just compared Sons of Anarchy to Crime and Punishment. WTF?  You know it is really, really good.  Brilliant, in fact.  But at the end you feel like the dog that got drug behind the car in National Lampoon’s Vacation.  Just without the whole being dead part.  And this is not to say that I am bitching and moaning.  Not. At. All.  I have a huge amount of respect for any show/book/movie  that can create amazing characters that you care deeply and then put them through these awful ordeals so we can see how they make it through.  To do anything less is cheating.  This is why I don’t watch CBS.      

Okay, before I digress any further…  The finale of Sons of Anarchy opens up with three rats eating away at a crow set to the tune of Burn This Town by Battleme you can get it here.  In my mind, the rats are the Principal Zobelle and affiliates, the ATF Bitch, and the Irish. The thing about all three of these rats eating away at SAMCRO is that they are all interrelated.  They aren’t isolated to one particular thing.  Zobelle was in bed with the Feds and the Irish.  The ATF was in bed with the Irish trying to get Zobelle.  They all picked over SAMCRO’s carcass while the boys were fighting amongst themselves about whether Clay or Jax had the bigger dick.  By my scorecard that leaves us with:  The World 1, SAMCRO 0.    

Rat Photo from @high_score 

Was anyone actually surprised that Zobelle was in cahoots with the FBI?  He has been walking around like his shit doesn’t stink all season long.  He had the trump card in his pocket the entire time but it proved ineffective by the way SAMCRO swiftly removed his layers of insulation.  And OMFG what an amazing sequence of the Sons going to war, Unser’s truck opening up with Piney yelling Ye-Haw! and then opening fire.  It was brazen and satisfying.  However, Zobelle still slipped away.  That’s okay, Budapest can have him.  It will give him a nice place to adapt and adjust.  Really, Budapest is incredibly nice even though Zobelle really deserves a cave in Kandahar.  Zobelle’s escape is Darwin’s theory of evolution at work.  The strong survive.  The weak are shot to death on the shitter in a tattoo parlor.  You know, like Westin was.  A quick question:  who, when about to disappear gets their kid out of child services to go get some more ink?  Like, has Westin ever heard of getting an ice cream cone?  Jax does the deed.  Happy is proud (which gives me the creepers) and Jax seems less than satisfied.  Maybe he built it up in his head too much?  Maybe doing bad things doesn’t feel so good?

ATF Bitch.  (Sigh)  This is the second time this season where someone has been given the chance to off her and hasn’t.  Let’s face it.  She is a bad cop but a smart bitch.  Hale, who got all righteous about saying that he is a cop who is actually bound by the law but he also turned Zobelle out so I don’t think he’s going to qualify for law enforcement sainthood anytime soon.   Anywhoo…  ATF Bitch sets up Eddie the Weasel and then kills him when he tries to run away.  When Gemma offs Polly, motivated because God put the girl in her path to kill (um, paging megalomania and delusions of grandeur) ATF Bitch puts both killings on Gemma.  Once again we see ATF Bitch acting the way a president of an MC would.  I don’t really think we can consider the ATF as anything but another gang—unless Stahl is replaced.  So you’ve had two murders pinned on your, WWGD?  Go on the lam with Unser, of course.  I kinda like the thought of Gemma and Unser on the run in a police cruiser.  Warm and fuzzy, yes.  Inconspicuous, not exactly.

 Finally, the Irish.  Cameron Hayes mistakenly thinks that Gemma has killed Eddie the Weasel (oh yeah, we have you to thank for that too Stahl).  In a gut-wrenching sequence, he kills Half-Sack, terrifies Tara, and makes off with Able.  A son for a son.  Good lord.  I get why he was crying—holding that baby boy probably made him think of his own son as an infant and all that has been lost.  People do crazy shit when they are grief-stricken and can blame someone.  You know, like kidnapping a baby.  Jax’s baby.   Yeah, that’s gonna end well for Cameron.  Season 3, here we come!  You know in like 9 months. 

Loose Ends

• Luanne’s murder hasn’t been dealt with yet and Georgie Caruso is at large prowling the red light district in Bangkok for talent
• Whatever happened to those outstanding gun charges from the raid on the dinner of the faithful?
• Um.  So what the fuck happened to Darby
• Tara tried to talk Gemma out of killing Polly.  Pot, Kettle, meet Black. 
• Opie seems to have traded up for a bandana. 
• SAMCRO is all about family.  Too bad their antagonists aren’t. 
• My only minor complaint:  there was no humor in this episode.  It was all heavy.  It needed just one little scene with Juice.  Just one. 
• Oh, and last but not least Otto got his revenge.  But man, he is never, ever going to sit at the table in Church again.   Maybe at his wake.  

Sons of Anarchy 2.13 Na Triobloidi Preview

Note for the spoiler wussies who don't like to see the trailer or promo pics.  All of that stuff is after the jump.

Sons of Anarchy 2.12 The Culling Recap

A quick programming note before the recap:  get your ass on Twitter and follow Kurt Sutter at @sutterink.  If he gets 5213 followers by Friday, he is going to give away some free SOA swag to 10 lucky fans.  

So previously on As the Harley Rumbles, we killed them all.  Wait.  No.  We didn’t because cooler heads prevailed.  Season Two's penultimate installment of Sons of Anarchy, The Culling effectively sets things up for a kill em’ all season finale.  Assuming that Hale doesn’t cock block SAMCRO’s vengeance again.  And HOLY SHIT I have some serious blood lust for Zobelle, Weston, Polly, and Edmund.  WTF is wrong with me?   Anyways, SAMCRO’s diabolical plan to eradicate Principal Zobelle and LOAN frames the major events of the episode:  AJ Weston’s flame out; the IRA gun deal switcheroo; Tara smacking a bitch up; and the tug-of-war between Hale and Unser.

Big kudos to Henry Rollins this week.  He had AJ Weston’s rage down cold.   Upon discovering that Zobelle had been supporting the Mayans and dealing drugs, he kills two civilians and the dorky guy from the League at the heroin packaging plant and then goes to confront Principal Zobelle himself.  His kids are taken away from him and he agrees to a Sharks v Jets rumble with SOA.  Boy, he may prefer to win over being fair but he really had the rug pulled out from under him many times over.  And anyone who can realistically argue that Jax Teller would beat AJ Weston in a fistfight is out of his/her fucking mind.  All of this is to say that we have finally seen the class and race divide play out as Kurt Sutter hinted it would earlier in the season. 

SAMCRO gets the guns it needs from Jimmy O and the IRA thanks to a nice little switcheroo to throw the ATF off their trail.  If that little weasel Edmund wasn’t shitting his pants when he saw those two dead rats in the gun crate he should be.  In this whole IRA morass, Chibs is still seething with hate for Jimmy O.  I don’t think this is going to die on the vine and we’ve already seen that Chibs is willing to go off the reservation to get revenge on his old IRA pal.  How much SAMCRO allows this remains to be seen.   

So Tara and Hospital Bitchface and the Throwdown at St Rednecks.  I’m having trouble putting my finger on this other than to say that What Would Tara Do is the new black.  On the surface this scene is so monumentally satisfying but it kinda makes me feel dirty for liking it so much and watching it 5 times.  Yes, the bitch did deserve to be put in her place.  OMG she called Gemma a BIKER HOAR?  WHAT?  But we have seen Tara want to draw a clear line between her personal and professional lives all season long.  Perhaps it was the “bitches gotta show respect because you’re an old lady healer” series of pep talks from Gemma.  Perhaps it is her tru luv for Jax.  Maybe, as a professional she was tired of being pushed around by a bureaucrat. 

Alan Sepinwal attributes Tara’s violent take on the situation as being akin to the Clay/Gemma way of taking care of business rather than the Jax/John Teller school.  I don’t know if I completely buy that because even Jax can justify violence to avenge Gemma’s rape and would do the same if it had been Tara.   I think that as Tara takes on a more central role as Jax’s old lady in the MC, her view of violence to protect the club and the SAMCRO family has changed from something that was abhorrent to something that is justifiable.   Which sort of works when you consider Kurt Sutter’s recent comments about Tara in at interview with Maureen Ryan suggest that Tara is coming from a place where she is repressing that dark side rather than embracing it. 

The push and pull between Hale and Unser really comes into full view.  Unser jumps in the SAMCRO pool with both feet while sending mixed signals to Hale.  “Do your job.  No wait.  Do as I say.”  Hale really is the touchstone for reality in this episode.  As much as we love SAMCRO, they are anti-heroes.  Hale seems to have a set of values that more closely resembles a real world version of right and wrong.   Even if he does thwart SAMCRO at every turn, depriving me of the vengeance that I am craving, damn it.  Unser's "not in Charming" policy doesn't seem to be working too well but it is of his own making by calling Hale acting Chief.  Hale breaks up the Sharks and Jets rumble by arresting Weston and then spares Zobelle and Polly by throwing them in the clink too.  I'm curious to see what the implications might be for Deputy Boy Scout Hale. Unser has nothing to lose and is living on borrowed time so I think he'll come out just fine in the wash.

Remainders

• Uh.  What the fuck happened to Special Agent Skinner Darby?
• Tig bit some dude’s nose off in the Sharks v Jets showdown. 
• Might we see Half-Sack get patched in soon?
• That kiss between Zobelle and Polly along with the whole “you smell of him…  is someone else’s odor staining your fingers” thing just squicked me out.    
• Is the whole Georgie thing and Luanne's murder just going to go unresolved this season?      

       

New! Improved! Signs you might be a Sons of Anarchy Fan

I promised that I was no Clay in how I run my blog so here is your New!  Improved!  Updated! Signs you might be a Sons of Anarchy Fan.  If you commented anonymously and would like to be credited by name, send me an email (kayteadee at gmail dot com) or tweet me @kayteadee.  

• You start reading Hamlet.  You know, for fun.
  
•  If you weren't a motorcycle person before, you are now to the extent that you can tell a Dyna from a Softail Springer when you see them on the road.
  
• In testy social and/or work situations you wonder to yourself, what would Gemma do?  And for the guys, what would Jax do?  And then you actually do it.  
  
• You can actually understand what Chibs is saying.
  
• You view yourself as a sort of missionary for Sons of Anarchy.  When you discover that a friend and/or family member hasn't seen it, you begin proselytizing the unconverted on the merits of the show.  Bonus points if you tell them all that Katey Sagal will be robbed, just robbed if she doesn't get an Emmy this year.
  
• You label and evaluate people according to personalities of Sons of Anarchy characters.  For example:  "My boss is such a Clay about the monthly financial projections;" or "Honey, we knew when you started dating him that he was a total Juice."
  
• You consider adding Nicholas Nickleby or Green Street Hooligans (thanks for this one from an anonymous comment) to your Netflix queue because Charlie Hunnam is in it.  Either that or The Lady Killers because Ryan Hurst is in that film.
  
•  You buy a manual typewriter to work on your manifesto.
  
• You download all of the music from all of the episodes from iTunes, make a playlist and it is all that you listen to.
  
• You work "darlin'" into regular conversation in addition to "blow back," "big picture," or "how's that gonna play out."  (Thanks to Jake for the "play out suggestion.)
  
• You know how hard it is to get #sonsofanarchy to be a trending topic on Twitter and you still haven't given up hope.
  
• You actually saw someone in real life in a cut and wanted to go talk to him but had to restrain yourself because there is no telling whether he was a Tig or a Jax.
  
• Your plan when Season 2 ends?  Watch seasons one and two straight through (because you totally saved Season 2 on your Tivo).  By then there will be news trickling down from Kurt Sutter sitting on the top of Mount Outlaw about Season 3. Season 2 will be out on dvd soon too so you can bide your time with the special features until next August.
  
• You know that, in a pinch, a skateboard is an effective weapon.
  
• You divide the world into two groups:  those who watch Sons of Anarchy and those who don't.
  

New Additions from Readers

• You refer to an attractive woman as 115 lbs of c**ck-ridin' giggity.  Courtesy of @high_score
  
• You buy tickets to see Elvis impersonators perform live in Reno.  Courtesy of Katie Owen Sasser
  
• You buy Gemma's sunglasses.  Courtesy of @misssuzq
  
• You grow a beard like Opie's.  Courtesy of Seth
  
• You have...  uh...  impure thoughts about Jax.  Courtesy of several anonymous contributors
  
• You contemplate getting your first tattoo.  Courtesy of @moryan.  Bonus if it is a crow or reaper tat, courtesy of Anonymous.  
  
• You start packing heat.  Courtesy of @Twisted_Shadow
  
• You plan to move to Lodi, Stockton or any other location close to fictional Charming.  Courtesy of Anonymous.  
  
• You get blonde streaks in your dark hair like Gemma's.   Courtesy of Anonymous.  
  
• You name your kid or pet after a character on SOA; your first-born will be named Able.   Courtesy of Anonymous.
  
• You drive long hours to meet the cast.  Courtesy of Sons<3 
  
• You get "Free Big Otto" t-shirts printed up and hand them out to all of your friends.  Courtesy of Dante. 

New Additions from Your Favorite Smartass (yeah me!  Kayteadee)

• You know that the Watchers of Anarchy Podcast has a money back guarantee.
  
• You now know what a neuticle is.
  
• You get a white Cockatoo like Gemma’s.
  
• You have watched the Season 1 special features and know that the deleted squeegee scene is equal parts disturbing and hilarious.
  
• You and your friends start your own MC even though the only bikes you have are 10-speeds or mountain bikes.
  
• You consider rocking the bro-hawk like Juice.
  

If you have done between 0-5 of these things:  Uh.  You call yourself a fan of Sons of Anarchy?  I hate to be the one to break this to you but—Not. So. Much. 

If you have done between 5 and 10 of these things:  you are a healthy fan.  Your priorities are in check.  You’re just generally enthusiastic about the show

If you have done between 10 and 15 of these things:  people around you are probably becoming concerned.   Your friends and family are still willing to abide by your “No Talking During Sons of Anarchy” rule because the season is almost over and then they hope you will return to your normal self.

If you have done between 15-20 of these things:  be careful, right now your friends and family are planning an intervention behind your back.   It will probably come right after the Thanksgiving pumpkin pie.

If you have done more than 20 of these:  Kurt Sutter, Charlie Hunnam, Katey Sagal, Ron Perlman, Maggie Siff, and Ryan Hurst all have restraining orders issued against your crazy ass.